boatsnguitars wrote: ↑Wed Nov 08, 2023 7:09 pm
I think you've succumbed to the social pressure - and a probable belief that men and women are completely different - with no recognition that some women are more butch than many men, and some men more feminine than many women. And that is only in appearance - forget the their brains differ wildly too.
I also think that you feel that whatever proclivity you have to docile, subservient women must be the normal and what everyone ought to aspire to, as you seem to tie it to your 'evolution'. I don't discount that many people do like to stay home. Both men and women. You seem to think there is an unwritten law that forbids men from doing it, but demands women be respected for it - regardless of their situation?
I think you must get quite a shock while you are out on the dating scene and you aren't getting many women to fall for you - or, that so many people simply want to be decent people - not cavemen. I imagine you feel there need to be more women calling men "Daddy" because you are either a pedophile or it's a healthy kink - but either way, not finding those women - because it's creepy to many of them. I'd encourage you to reconsider the importance of a woman calling you Daddy - if you were serious (I sense you were trolling or joking).
The point being. You are probably most likely wrong about your views, since there is a wide variety of views on this matter - and there are no rules. Simply choosing the social norms you grew up with is nothing but choosing a religion because you were born into it.
I'm going on 2 years now in a relationship with my girlfriend. The biggest complaint I've gotten so far is from her family wanting us to tie the knot. My girlfriend and exes have never complained about gender roles. From my experience of relationships, these roles tend fall into place naturally as we go through the relationship. And it also doesn't hurt that I set the tone for all of these roles to be expressed in a way that makes her feel special. For instance, if masculine men are supposed to be strong, then let me express that by getting the door for her; if we're in the cold and I have a jacket, then I'll offer my jacket, etc.
Of course, women and men are capable of doing a lot of the same things, but I also can't deny that each gender has their strengths and weaknesses,
on average. Some gender roles were imposed on women in patriarchal societies, but I think some of them are a natural expression of their traits. We see some of these differences in the non-human animal world, so a lot of that is natural. Sure, as a man, I can do all of the domestic work at home (cook, clean, child-rearing), but if we were to assign tasks, the main factor I'd consider is who does it better. In my relationship, I try not to become too overdependent on my girl for anything so cleaning is a shared responsibility. If she's tired, I do all of the cleaning.
Enough about my perspective. Let's address yours.
A problem I tend to find with those who hold your view is their definition of gender abuse/inequality. It seems your side wants to get rid of the baby with the bath water when all that's needed is to get rid of the abusive parts as opposed to scrapping gender roles, entirely. Also, to put this in a heterosexual context, I find your standards to be boring. It might make women feel satisfied but I question if it makes them feel special. Sure she can get the door herself, she has the ability to, but does that have the same feel as when I get the door for her?
Another issue I see from your side is that you are imposing your view, as opposed to letting people decide for themselves. I question if you've considered that there can be more than one way to improve gender equality? Why not have a system where every gender has equal opportunities at everything (your position), while also allowing for systems that adopts some gender-based roles?! The two can coexist to some degree, like having one standard in a professional setting or workplace, and have the other standard (or both standard as an option) in other settings. And of course, have all of this take place between consenting adults.