Daily laugh

[FinalEnigma]

Everybody likes to laugh, so I thought I'd amuse myself by starting a thread with the purpose of just posting whatever funny things you come across to brighten others' days just a little bit. So feel free to post away. it can be jokes, pictures, funny stories, anything that makes you laugh.

[McCulloch]

[Nickman]

[Replying to post 318 by McCulloch]

Lol. That was good.

[Danmark]

Guy goes into see his psychiatrist wearing a pair of women's underwear on his head.

Doc says, 'No. No. No! The label goes in the rear.'

[Danmark]

Sorry. Shouldn't have said, 'in the rear.'
I meant, 'In the back.'

You know. 'Behind.'

Sorry. Didn't mean to say 'behind.'

[AdHoc]

A rich man who had worked hard in his life to amass a lot of worldly possessions was about to die.

He argued with God to allow him to bring some of it into the next life.

"you can't take any of it with you", God told him.

The rich man argued and persisted so much so that finally God relented.

"ok you can bring one suit case"

The rich man thought about that for a second and then began stuffing as many gold bricks as possible into his suitcase.

When he arrived at the pearly gates St. Peter called out, "what you got there?"

The rich man stopped and opened the suitcase proudly displaying the gleaming golden bricks.

St. Peter just kind of stared at him, "you brought more pavement?'

[assisigirl]

Peter stops Hitler at the Pearly Gates.

P.'You cannot come in here, Jesus does not want you here.'

H.'Tell him if he lets me in I will give him an Iron Cross.'

P.'I can't see that working, he had trouble carrying the wooden one.'

[Goat]

[youtube][/youtube]

[Harper]

Be careful what you wear (or don't wear), when working under your vehicle ... especially in public.

From the Morning Herald, Sydney Australia comes this story of a central west couple who drove their car to K-Mart only to have their car break down in the parking lot.

The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car there in the lot.

The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned his private parts into glaringly public ones.

Unable to stand the embarrassment she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts and tucked everything back into place.

On regaining her feet she looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by.

The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his head.

[Zetesis Apistia]

Dear Abby
I have a man I never could trust. Why, he cheats so much I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.

I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would never happen again.

My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.

I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.

Then you told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex years ago and he is a doctor.

This is the second marriage for both of us. And when my husband said "I Will" he knew very well he couldn't.

[Goat]