Why is sex outside of marriage wrong?

[RUSLAN]

I'll ask a very simple question.

In Christianity, Islam, and Judaism, sex is allowed only within marriage.

Of course there are some believers who do not really agree with this, but my question is for those who do agree with it.

Can someone (Christian, Muslim, or Jew) explain why sex outside of marriage is wrong, but without citing any religious text(s)?

[OnceConvinced]

I'll ask a very simple question.

In Christianity, Islam, and Judaism, sex is allowed only within marriage.

Of course there are some believers who do not really agree with this, but my question is for those who do agree with it.

Can someone (Christian, Muslim, or Jew) explain why sex outside of marriage is wrong, but without citing any religious text(s)?

Because sex makes people and you are morally responsible for those people i.e. children.

Are you saying that unmarried people can't be responsible parents?

I know of plenty of unmarried people who are. I also know of married people who are extremely irresponsible parents and some who IMO shouldn't even be allowed kids.

Seems to me that whether you are married or not is irrelevant.

At the very least, your answer indicates that you would agree that sexual relations outside of a relationship willing to provide a stable home environment for the rearing of children is morally dubious. And this would render most casual sexual encounters such as 'one night stands' and 'flings' as immoral.

There is something called birth control. So no I don't see that one night stands and flings are immoral. They're only immoral if you do them without considering the feelings of others or the consequences of your actions.

[OnceConvinced]

[Replying to post 1 by RUSLAN]

Marriage is a contract between two people to be sexually exclusive. Sex outside of marriage, therefore is a violation of the contract.

Simple, interesting answer.

Now, if the marriage hasn't occurred, and a contract hasn't been made yet, can you say why sex before marriage is wrong? (Again without religion.)

No.
In fact, I would encourage you to have sex with someone before you vow to have sex with them and only them until death do you part. Less divorce this way IMO.

Such a great point. Trying to say that sex before marriage is wrong just encourages people to rush into marriage so they can start having guilt-free sex. Then they find themselves in bad relationships and have to get a divorce. Or they just stay in a bad relationship.

Banning sex before marriage is just such a stupid thing. It really is. There is no good reason for it because any problems that result from sex can happen whether you're married or not. In fact marriage just opens you up to more potential problems!

Just look at the problem of adultery. We should be consistent here and make marriage immoral because it results in people committing adultery! Without marriage nobody would be committing adultery.

[Wootah]

[Replying to post 32 by OnceConvinced]

My experience is the opposite. Most men stay in bad relationships longer if they are getting sex and a lot longer if they have children.

[OnceConvinced]

[Replying to post 32 by OnceConvinced]

My experience is the opposite. Most men stay in bad relationships longer if they are getting sex and a lot longer if they have children.

How is that the opposite of what I'm saying?

[Peds nurse]

[Replying to post 1 by RUSLAN]

I am taking a break from this site...but this question is very near and dear to my heart.

Having sexual relations with someone is the most intimate way of expressing our love for someone. Marriage is the most intimate relationship, joining two people who confess their love for each other and vow to be united as one person. A union of two, who together become one united front.

When we have sex outside of marriage, it is like having the cart...but no horse to pull it. The marriage, the commitment that says, "I choose you to spend the rest of my life with, and no other," is the energy that pulls us along from day to day. The sex, no matter how passionate, apart from the commitment...is just sex. It does not have the power to sustain a relationship. Also, the ONLY gift that we can give our spouse is the gift of ourselves. When we save this for the marriage bed, it speaks volumes into our loved one's heart, because it says, YOU ALONE WERE WORTH THE WAIT!

[Clownboat]

[Replying to post 1 by RUSLAN]

I am taking a break from this site...but this question is very near and dear to my heart.

This has been noticed, I hope it's not the ol' pearls before swines....

Having sexual relations with someone is the most intimate way of expressing our love for someone.

This can be true, but it ignores the fact that we are biological creatures that reproduce sexually. Sometimes sex has nothing to do with expressing love for someone.

If you are going to claim for all of us, that sex is for showing love, I fear you dictate too much and would find such a thing unjustified.

Marriage is the most intimate relationship, joining two people who confess their love for each other and vow to be united as one person. A union of two, who together become one united front.

You must not know any people that are not married and don't plan on ever getting married, yet they love each other and have an intimate relationship. Married or not, these people can be united as one person and they may or may not care how you feel about marriage. Again, I fear you are dictating to us about what marriage is and how people can feel united. Is my wife's aunt and uncle who are not married (been together roughly 25 years though) not united as one person? Do you actually think they would treat each other differently if they got married? Obviously not to Peds Nurse, but to them, being married is not important and does not affect their unified front one iota.

When we have sex outside of marriage, it is like having the cart...but no horse to pull it.

Sex (the act) is the same whether married or not, and you should leave your horse out of it. (I jest about the horse of course).
This sounds like nothing more than word salad that comes from the pulpit.

The marriage, the commitment that says, "I choose you to spend the rest of my life with, and no other," is the energy that pulls us along from day to day.

Your claim is false. People can choose to spend the rest of their lives with each other whether they are married or not. Again, marriage for some is just not important.

The sex, no matter how passionate, apart from the commitment...is just sex. It does not have the power to sustain a relationship.

Sure it does (for how long, though, that is a different question). Never known anyone that has had a purely sexual relationship with anyone? Friends with benefits. You have never had one nor known of one? If so, your ignorance of this does not make it go away.

Also, the ONLY gift that we can give our spouse is the gift of ourselves.

I don't even feel that this sentence is worth refuting.

When we save this for the marriage bed, it speaks volumes into our loved one's heart, because it says, YOU ALONE WERE WORTH THE WAIT!

It may say that, but you forgot to add (when appropriate) that, 'you were worth the wait, but to bad we are not sexually compatible. I'll do my best to ignore our unsatisfactory sex life and will try not to ever have that aspect filled in my life. Not ever having 'good sex' may nag at me, but I'll do my best to ignore it and to not find another person to fulfill that aspect.

Perhaps this is why divorce is so common in Christian circles?

[Davidjayjordan]

I'll ask a very simple question.

In Christianity, Islam, and Judaism, sex is allowed only within marriage.

Of course there are some believers who do not really agree with this, but my question is for those who do agree with it.

Can someone (Christian, Muslim, or Jew) explain why sex outside of marriage is wrong, but without citing any religious text(s)?

Simply put Bro,,, religious systems want to control their flock for gain, hence one of the easiest methods is trying to control their sexuality, through their church, synagogue or mosque certifications, rituals etc...

ITs an age old ploy, and works pretty well for the religious in trying to keep down what keeps popping up or swelling up.

Sadly though these so called prohitions on sex, do push normal hetersexual couples into anal sex acts, as the womans hymen is still intact and she can say she is still a virgin at marriage. This important in churhcianity, islam and the jewish faith or religion.

The Lord on the other hand, IMO is not concerned about who you have slep with previously or even afterwards in most cases. Its the heart and love that matters not the experience the sexual organs have had.

Is sex outside of marriage wrong... NO in most cases, but you have to understand the heart of each individual case before you can truly make that discernment and choice.

Most of us men and women though think with our lower head more than our upper ones, as rightly we have passion and fire, and not just mere robotic narcotic systemized dead unions.

Dead logs dont have much life. ... or give much life.

[Jolly_Penguin]

Marriage is a contract between two people to be sexually exclusive. Sex outside of marriage, therefore is a violation of the contract.

Is that somewhere in the marriage vows? I thought the problem with infidelity was the breach of trust. Can swingers not marry?

[bluethread]

This thread seems to be all over the map. The OP has amended the original post to make this discussion about the concept of marriage, not the rite of marriage. Yet, this has not stopped the repeated accusations against a particular type of marriage contract. So, if I may, I would like to state the base concept. Marriage is a social construct that allows a society to regulate relationships with the potential for procreation. Romanticism has expanded that to include the potential for emotional distress. Neither of these things are theistic in and of themselves. Nearly, all philosophies have such a construct, not just theistic ones.

Now, if I may, I will list some of those constructs.

Biological - Apart from IVF, maternity is obvious. Therefore, if a man has sex with multiple partners, one can easily identify the mother. However, apart from genetic testing, if a woman has sex with multiple partners, the father can not be easily identified. Even with genetic testing, if a woman had sex with twins, determining the father is difficult.

Jewish - Determining biological paternity is necessary for determining inheritance.

Christian - Protects the symbolism of husband/wife, Yeshua/Church analogy.

US Legal - Originally to prohibit biracial unions. Currently as social engineering using the tax code.

This is not an exhaustive list, but note that, though theistic philosophies do incorporate marriage into their philosophies, it is not limited to theistic philosophies.

[JehovahsWitness]

I'll ask a very simple question.

In Christianity, Islam, and Judaism, sex is allowed only within marriage.

Of course there are some believers who do not really agree with this, but my question is for those who do agree with it.

Can someone (Christian, Muslim, or Jew) explain why sex outside of marriage is wrong, but without citing any religious text(s)?

In Christianity it's wrong because God says it's wrong.