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FinalEnigma
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Daily laugh

Post #1

Post by FinalEnigma »

Everybody likes to laugh, so I thought I'd amuse myself by starting a thread with the purpose of just posting whatever funny things you come across to brighten others' days just a little bit. So feel free to post away. it can be jokes, pictures, funny stories, anything that makes you laugh.

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Ancient of Years
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Post #521

Post by Ancient of Years »

Why Jesus has not returned

Image
To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.

William Blake

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Ancient of Years
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Post #522

Post by Ancient of Years »

Why did Moses lead the Jews though the desert for 40 years?


Men don't ask directions.
To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.

William Blake

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Ancient of Years
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Post #523

Post by Ancient of Years »

God, grant me
the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.




These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter.
I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter.
To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.

William Blake

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Danmark
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Post #524

Post by Danmark »

Ancient of Years wrote: God, grant me
the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.




These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter.
I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter.
:D
I can remember the name of the building they were tearing down with a wrecking ball in the old Dobie Gillis show, but sometimes I find myself in the kitchen asking "What did I come in here for?" I also answer posts like this with a notion that I have something funny to say. But ... then....

My Dad, may he RIP, used to say the best thing about Alzheimer's was that you got to enjoy all the great old jokes all over again. But I digress. What I really wanted to say was . . . .
Enemway I'm havin' 'nother drink.
Last edited by Danmark on Thu Feb 04, 2016 6:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Ancient of Years
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Post #525

Post by Ancient of Years »

Danmark wrote:
Ancient of Years wrote: God, grant me
the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.




These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter.
I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter.
:D
I can remember the name of the building they were tearing down with a wrecking ball in the old Dobie Gillis show, but sometimes I find myself in the kitchen asking "What did I come in here for?" I also answer posts like this with a notion that I have something funny to say. But ... then....

My Dad, may he RIP, used to say the best thing about Alzheimer's was that you got to enjoy all the great old jokes all over again. But I digress. What I really wanted to say was . . . .
Another nice thing is that you are always meeting new people.


The Endicott Building.

And the movie was The Monster That Devoured Cleveland.

Except once it was The Creature That Devoured Cleveland. We wondered if it was a sequel...
To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.

William Blake

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Danmark
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Post #526

Post by Danmark »

Ancient of Years wrote:
Danmark wrote:
Ancient of Years wrote: God, grant me
the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.




These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter.
I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter.
:D
I can remember the name of the building they were tearing down with a wrecking ball in the old Dobie Gillis show, but sometimes I find myself in the kitchen asking "What did I come in here for?" I also answer posts like this with a notion that I have something funny to say. But ... then....

My Dad, may he RIP, used to say the best thing about Alzheimer's was that you got to enjoy all the great old jokes all over again. But I digress. What I really wanted to say was . . . .
Another nice thing is that you are always meeting new people.


The Endicott Building.

And the movie was The Monster That Devoured Cleveland.

Except once it was The Creature That Devoured Cleveland. We wondered if it was a sequel...
:D

I liked Bob Denver better as Maynard G. Krebs than as Gilligan. I always admired his attitude toward work. I've patterned my life after him.

"... Where they hung the Turk
Who invented work...."

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Ancient of Years
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Post #527

Post by Ancient of Years »

Danmark wrote:
Ancient of Years wrote:
Danmark wrote:
Ancient of Years wrote: God, grant me
the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.




These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter.
I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter.
:D
I can remember the name of the building they were tearing down with a wrecking ball in the old Dobie Gillis show, but sometimes I find myself in the kitchen asking "What did I come in here for?" I also answer posts like this with a notion that I have something funny to say. But ... then....

My Dad, may he RIP, used to say the best thing about Alzheimer's was that you got to enjoy all the great old jokes all over again. But I digress. What I really wanted to say was . . . .
Another nice thing is that you are always meeting new people.


The Endicott Building.

And the movie was The Monster That Devoured Cleveland.

Except once it was The Creature That Devoured Cleveland. We wondered if it was a sequel...
:D

I liked Bob Denver better as Maynard G. Krebs than as Gilligan. I always admired his attitude toward work. I've patterned my life after him.

"... Where they hung the Turk
Who invented work...."
I thought it was 'they hung the jerk"

Work?!?!

Also...

Draft?!?!

But to keep the thread on topic...

Image

No ragrets about that one.
To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.

William Blake

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Danmark
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Post #528

Post by Danmark »

Ancient of Years wrote:
Danmark wrote:
Ancient of Years wrote:
Danmark wrote:
Ancient of Years wrote: God, grant me
the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.




These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter.
I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter.
:D
I can remember the name of the building they were tearing down with a wrecking ball in the old Dobie Gillis show, but sometimes I find myself in the kitchen asking "What did I come in here for?" I also answer posts like this with a notion that I have something funny to say. But ... then....

My Dad, may he RIP, used to say the best thing about Alzheimer's was that you got to enjoy all the great old jokes all over again. But I digress. What I really wanted to say was . . . .
Another nice thing is that you are always meeting new people.


The Endicott Building.

And the movie was The Monster That Devoured Cleveland.

Except once it was The Creature That Devoured Cleveland. We wondered if it was a sequel...
:D

I liked Bob Denver better as Maynard G. Krebs than as Gilligan. I always admired his attitude toward work. I've patterned my life after him.

"... Where they hung the Turk
Who invented work...."
I thought it was 'they hung the jerk"

Work?!?!

Also...

Draft?!?!

But to keep the thread on topic...

Image

No ragrets about that one.
Yeah, Burl Ives and others covered the song. They took some of the alcohol references out and changed the lyrics in other ways. Probably a PC kind of thing. But I think Harry McClintock was credited with collecting and popularizing these old tunes, if not writing them. In "O! Brother Where Art Thou" they have an electronically cleaned up version. Here's Harry from 1928:

Definitely "Turk."

But who cares. These days I find myself just wanting to head out to some isolated beach where the booze is cheap and I have no greater ambition than to enjoy the sunset. Waking will be for brushing my teeth and getting ready for a nap.

http://www.puertosantotomas.com/

I'm on my way... as soon as I get around to it.

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Ancient of Years
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Post #529

Post by Ancient of Years »

Danmark wrote: Yeah, Burl Ives and others covered the song. They took some of the alcohol references out and changed the lyrics in other ways. Probably a PC kind of thing. But I think Harry McClintock was credited with collecting and popularizing these old tunes, if not writing them. In "O! Brother Where Art Thou" they have an electronically cleaned up version. Here's Harry from 1928:

Definitely "Turk."

But who cares. These days I find myself just wanting to head out to some isolated beach where the booze is cheap and I have no greater ambition than to enjoy the sunset. Waking will be for brushing my teeth and getting ready for a nap.

http://www.puertosantotomas.com/

I'm on my way... as soon as I get around to it.
I cleaned up some - it was getting to big.
Looks like a cool place!

This is my kind of place.
To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.

William Blake

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Danmark
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Post #530

Post by Danmark »

Ancient of Years wrote:
Danmark wrote:
http://www.puertosantotomas.com/

I'm on my way... as soon as I get around to it.
I cleaned up some - it was getting to big.
Looks like a cool place!

This is my kind of place.
Beautiful! I'd love it... until it snows or gets too cold to sleep under the bridge.

I had a fellow lawyer send me an email today about when to contact me.
I told him my 'working' hours were between 8 AM and Noon, unless I was taking a nap; that I could not guarantee my sobriety after that.

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