Daily laugh

[FinalEnigma]

Everybody likes to laugh, so I thought I'd amuse myself by starting a thread with the purpose of just posting whatever funny things you come across to brighten others' days just a little bit. So feel free to post away. it can be jokes, pictures, funny stories, anything that makes you laugh.

[Zzyzx]

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I'd argue that the interest alone I could make off of a good investment of $3m would keep me financially stable.

Depending on interest requires that one depend on investments to yield a return AND preserve the original.

Keeping the original "in hand" and still having $100,000 annually (not counting on interest) should be adequate to live quite well in Georgia (or here in Arkansas).

[JoeyKnothead]

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These are my people

Joey,

If you win the lottery divide three million dollars by the number of years you are likely to live -- and don't spend more than that per year. Say thirty more years -- spend only $100,000 annually (and that doesn't factor in interest).

Could you get along on that without increasing income (legally or illegally)?

I could, but I don't know about these hens I live with. I estimate we spend about three-hundred-fifty-two-thousand a month on clothes and makeup alone, not counting shoes or unmentionables.

Funny thing about that - Almost all of our expenses are paid on a debit card, 'cause to heck with credit. And, being me, I still list myself as single, with no kids (of my blood) at home. Imagine what that person who writes or reads my bank statement every month thinks when they see all the girl stuff that gets bought. I bet the bank thinks I'm a raging cross-dressing, cross-smellgooding, high-heel wearing so-and-so who likes to pretty himself up like a teenage girl.

I'd pay just to see the look on their face.

[Zzyzx]

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[Replying to post 548 by JoeyKnothead]

Being single for a few years now I have noticed that cost of living is very modest compared to when there was a female partner in residence.

With everything owned outright, no mortgage or rent, no vehicle payment, and almost no monthly bills one might think that having a second person would not greatly increase outflow of funds. Perhaps there should be an increase food cost (minor item), clothing, and incidentals.

However, that assumption would be dead wrong. I am astonished when comparing expenses during years with partner in residence vs. recent years without. Multiplying that yearly difference by the nearly fifty years I was coupled (not all to the same woman) yields a LARGE amount of money.

Thus, a cost-benefit analysis does not favor coupledom for me. Wish I had realized that fifty years ago.

[JoeyKnothead]

[Replying to post 549 by Zzyzx]
Preach it friend.

I was fortunate, in that travel for my career in construction offered me a salary, as well as a per diem. I lived off of my per diem - sleeping in less expensive (though nice) motels, and not spending lavishly to eat all the time. What extra money I did need, I'd often find from turning in scrap material from a job site. I could even afford to keep a hen from time to time, though travel did make it nigh impossible to keep 'em for more'n a project.

Doing so, I was able to save or invest almost my entire salary for over twenty years. Now, if I wanna go blow twenty dollars on a ten dollar steak, I can get the pretty thing to cook me up a five dollar one, and have fifteen left over to spend on the pretty thing (it makes me proud when I buy her stuff and she gives me that big ol' smile of hers, with them big ol' eyes, and, ya know, extracurriculars). I'm living in the lap of country luxury.

I have a cheap house, a cheap vehicle. I live cheap (frugal) because I seek to diminish my impact on the environment (among other reasons). I'm not saying it's for everybody, but it sure is nice to know that what I need I have, and what I don't need, I can still have.

[arian]

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These are my people

Joey,

If you win the lottery divide three million dollars by the number of years you are likely to live -- and don't spend more than that per year. Say thirty more years -- spend only $100,000 annually (and that doesn't factor in interest).

Could you get along on that without increasing income (legally or illegally)?

I could, but I don't know about these hens I live with. I estimate we spend about three-hundred-fifty-two-thousand a month on clothes and makeup alone, not counting shoes or unmentionables.

Funny thing about that - Almost all of our expenses are paid on a debit card, 'cause to heck with credit. And, being me, I still list myself as single, with no kids (of my blood) at home. Imagine what that person who writes or reads my bank statement every month thinks when they see all the girl stuff that gets bought. I bet the bank thinks I'm a raging cross-dressing, cross-smellgooding, high-heel wearing so-and-so who likes to pretty himself up like a teenage girl.

I'd pay just to see the look on their face.

I'd pay just to see the look on their face .. after them seeing that you're just a cute penguin!? I do love the line of different penguin clothing you have Joey, nice tux buddy!

I hear you about the women's clothing, makeup, especially how I resent makeup on a teen.

Take care Joey, you're funny as always.

[Tired of the Nonsense]

Drunk History

[arian]

Drunk History

That's funny, and true, except that God didn't send Satan Claus to teach the doctrine of consumerism, he did it himself.

And I also feel sorry for the poor "School boy" who was taught lies all his life and was forced in "believing in things he knew it ain't so!"

But of course he was just a school boy, but why do adults continue to believe in lies? I have never once seen a child dress up as Satan Claus yet.

[Tired of the Nonsense]

[Replying to post 553 by arian]



arian wrote:
That's funny, and true, except that God didn't send Satan Claus to teach the doctrine of consumerism, he did it himself.

The most recent concept of Santa Claus seems to now be based on the Tim Allen move, "The Santa Clause." It's even become quite popular to refer to Santa as "Santa Clause," I have noticed. But this movie and others are all loosely based on Clement Moore's "A Visit From St. Nicholas," commonly known as "The Night Before Christmas." As the original title suggests, the poem is derived from stories about the Christian St. Nicholas, as well as the old pagan Germanic tale of Sinterklaas, who would bring treats to the children on Christmas, or Yuletide in the pre-Christian era. So unless you believe that Santa actually exists, we are talking about a myth, and nothing more.


arian wrote:
And I also feel sorry for the poor "School boy" who was taught lies all his life and was forced in "believing in things he knew it ain't so!"

This is known as indoctrination, or programming. It serves to explain why the so called western countries are predominately Christian, middle eastern countries are predominately Muslim, and India is predominately Hindu. People overwhelmingly tend to buy into whatever belief was peddled to them as children.


arian wrote:
But of course he was just a school boy, but why do adults continue to believe in lies? I have never once seen a child dress up as Satan Claus yet.

Why DO adults continue to believe in lies? Because the power of indoctrination is strong, not everyone is capable of thinking for themselves, and some people are inherently more gullible than others.

[arian]

[Replying to post 553 by arian]

arian wrote:
That's funny, and true, except that God didn't send Satan Claus to teach the doctrine of consumerism, he did it himself.

The most recent concept of Santa Claus seems to now be based on the Tim Allen move, "The Santa Clause." It's even become quite popular to refer to Santa as "Santa Clause," I have noticed. But this movie and others are all loosely based on Clement Moore's "A Visit From St. Nicholas," commonly known as "The Night Before Christmas." As the original title suggests, the poem is derived from stories about the Christian St. Nicholas, as well as the old pagan Germanic tale of Sinterklaas, who would bring treats to the children on Christmas, or Yuletide in the pre-Christian era. So unless you believe that Santa actually exists, we are talking about a myth, and nothing more.

Yes, I understand my friend Tired, it's a myth, like our earth is a globe, or that 9-11 happened with planes, or that all the Satellite dishes are pointing at actual satellites, .. or the BB-theory, evolution theory when it was the Christian Catholic Religion that came up with many of this, or adapted it into so called Christianity. Why do people, especially adults love fairytales? "When I was a child, I thought like a child, but now that I've grown up I left those childish things" you know what I mean?

And I also feel sorry for the poor "School boy" who was taught lies all his life and was forced in "believing in things he knew it ain't so!"

This is known as indoctrination, or programming. It serves to explain why the so called western countries are predominately Christian, middle eastern countries are predominately Muslim, and India is predominately Hindu. People overwhelmingly tend to buy into whatever belief was peddled to them as children.

So true my friend, so true.

But of course he was just a school boy, but why do adults continue to believe in lies? I have never once seen a child dress up as Satan Claus yet.

Why DO adults continue to believe in lies? Because the power of indoctrination is strong, not everyone is capable of thinking for themselves, and some people are inherently more gullible than others.

Again I agree, .. is this sudden mutual understanding because we are in the Daily laugh? Just wondering, because humor does loosen up people.

Maybe I should provide evidence of God as a joke, and as people drive home they would reflect back on the debate and say: "He, he, he, .. that arian is funny, .. he said he had evidence of God, .. he, he, he, .. er, .. umm, .. wait a minute, .. that actually makes sense!?"

Just saying, you know!?

God bless.

[Irene]

Lol