Christian Divorce

[Zzyzx]

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The bible appears to disallow divorce except for sexual impropriety / adultery and prohibits remarriage under most circumstances.

Yet, Christians divorce at rates as great or greater than Non-Christians and often remarry. When they remarry they are committing adultery according to the bible – and many continue the adulterous relationship until death.

If a person persists in their "sin" (adultery by remarriage), does not ask forgiveness and does not REPENT (but blatantly continues the adultery) then dies in that state, they are evidently an unrepentant sinner. Should they, therefore, be denied access to "heaven?"

[connermt]

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The bible appears to disallow divorce except for sexual impropriety / adultery and prohibits remarriage under most circumstances.

Yet, Christians divorce at rates as great or greater than Non-Christians and often remarry. When they remarry they are committing adultery according to the bible – and many continue the adulterous relationship until death.

If a person persists in their "sin" (adultery by remarriage), does not ask forgiveness and does not REPENT (but blatantly continues the adultery) then dies in that state, they are evidently an unrepentant sinner. Should they, therefore, be denied access to "heaven?"

Divorce being "OK" other than adultery is a way christianity has evolved along with society.
They say god doesn't change.
Perhaps, but the believers and what they claim is "OK or not OK" sure does.
Yet another reason to shun christianity. They claim their god is a rock but are as wishy-washy as the next guy.

[McCulloch]

For reference here is a summary of what the New Testament has to say about divorce.

The New Testament has only four places where divorce is discussed directly.

• Matthew 19:3-12
• Matthew 5:31-32
• Mark 10:1-12 (a restatement of Matthew 19
• 1 Corinthians 7:1-16;25-40

Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?� And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.� They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?� He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.�

The disciples said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.� But He said to them, “Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it.�

Divorce is a bad thing. People who get married should stay married. If a man divorces his wife and remarries, he commits adultery. Adultery is when a married man has sex with someone who is not his wife. Therefore, Jesus is teaching that if a man gets a divorce for the wrong reason, he is still actually married to his first wife.

While not everyone can accept it, it is better not to get married at all.

“It was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce’; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Not much new here, except here it is the divorces wife who commits adultery and a man who marries a divorcee commits adultery. Same conclusion: according to Jesus, unless the divorce is for the reason of unchastity, the couple is still married, therefore, remarriage is adultery.

How does a person repent of adultery? It should be quite an easy question to answer. Stop having sex with the wrong partner and have sex only with your spouse. Right? In the case of an improper divorce, repentance would mean going back to the spouse that he or she was wrongfully divorced from.

Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. But this I say by way of concession, not of command. Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that.

But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.

But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

Again, celibacy is the ideal, the best way. But if you are not able to harness your desires and control your sexual urges, it is allowable that you get married. If you are married, stay that way. Don't leave the marriage. If your spouse leaves, then you should remain unmarried. Do not split up a marriage because one of you is not a Christian. Let the unbelieving spouse leave if he or she feels that he or she needs to, but the Christian partner in a marriage should not initiate a separation.

Now concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy. I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you. But this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none; and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess; and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it; for the form of this world is passing away.

But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.

But if any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter, if she is past her youth, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he does not sin; let her marry. But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no constraint, but has authority over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well. So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better.

A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is; and I think that I also have the Spirit of God.

Celibacy is the ideal, but marriage is allowed with the warning that marriage may distract the believer from total dedication to the Lord and bring trouble upon the believer. If you have a daughter, it is alright if you allow her to get married, but it is better to have her kept as a virgin. Once a marriage has been ended by the death of one spouse, the remaining spouse is free to remarry, but even then it is better to remain unmarried.

Given this context, addressing the OP, it is clear that anyone who has been divorced for the wrong reasons, according to the teachings of the New Testament, would be committing adultery if they remarry. If they remain married to the second (or third whatever) spouse, they are, by definition, unrepentant. Jesus said that he did not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.

[Zzyzx]

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For reference here is a summary of what the New Testament has to say about divorce.

It appears, then, as though Bible-Believing-Christians who profess to follow the bible (including those who debate here) must be either:

1) Lifetime celibate

2) Married to their original spouse (not divorced)

3) Divorced based on spouse sexual improprieties (and NOT remarried)

4) Remarried after death of a spouse

OR

5) Unrepentant sinner willfully and continuously living in sin by being married after divorce (unworthy of heaven)

AND/OR

6) Hypocrites (who follow the bible when it suits them and ignore it when they wish to do otherwise -- but still profess to be honorable Christians)


Are there other alternatives?

[dianaiad]

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The bible appears to disallow divorce except for sexual impropriety / adultery and prohibits remarriage under most circumstances.

Yet, Christians divorce at rates as great or greater than Non-Christians and often remarry. When they remarry they are committing adultery according to the bible – and many continue the adulterous relationship until death.

Just as a note, here, in terms of this particular statistic.

Yes, Christians (or at least, those who live in the Bible Belt) get divorced at a rate equal to, and often greater than, non-believers (or rather, those who live in states where fewer people self identify as "Christian" or "Church goers")...The problem with your claim is this:

Before one gets divorced, one first must get married. "They" don't count shack-up breakups as 'divorce,' no matter how involved the couple may have been, or how long they were living together.

Here's a fun factoid for you: Utah, while having the 7th lowest divorce rate, also has the sixth highest marriage rate; fourth highest, if you throw Nevada and Hawaii out as outliers. I just thought that was fun.

Ok, for the serious stuff:

Let's look at some typical 'secular' states...those that are most produced as 'see how much better we are than you bible thumpers!" in terms of divorce, etc;...Massachusetts and, oh, Illinois. According to the Center for Disease Control, Mass. does indeed have the 4th lowest divorce rate. It also has the 6th lowest marriage rate, beating Michigan (the very lowest) out by a whoppin' .2 (that's POINT two) percent.

Yep, it's difficult to get divorced when you didn't get married in the first place.

Illinois? Oh, yeah...8th lowest (right under Utah) divorce rate, and 4th lowest marriage rate.

I noticed, when I did all the comparing (throwing out the outliers; we all know why Florida, Hawaii and Nevada have such ginourmous marriage rates) that the percentage of divorces do seem to march with the percentage of marriages. The fewer the marriages, the fewer the divorces.

I'm willing to bet (and I don't bet) pretty much anything that if someone actually counted all live-in relationship breakups, married or not, that the non-believer 'kick 'em to the curb' rate is as high, or even higher, than that of believer relationships.


....and it seems to me to be more than a little twisty for someone to claim that 'hey, I ain't NEVER been divorced!" when one might need both hands and perhaps a foot to count the number of sleeping partners/roommates with priviledges, etc. that one has had.

If a person persists in their "sin" (adultery by remarriage), does not ask forgiveness and does not REPENT (but blatantly continues the adultery) then dies in that state, they are evidently an unrepentant sinner. Should they, therefore, be denied access to "heaven?"

Which 'heaven' are you talking about here?

Just to remind folks that I think pretty much everybody gets to go to some sort of heaven.

[bluethread]

3) Divorced based on spouse sexual improprieties (and NOT remarried)

This is not correct, the innocent victim of adultery is free to remarry after a divorce.

[connermt]

3) Divorced based on spouse sexual improprieties (and NOT remarried)

...the victim of adultery is free to remarry after a divorce.

That's great. Too bad for those who are physically or mentally abused.... guess it stinks to be them, huh?

[bluethread]

3) Divorced based on spouse sexual improprieties (and NOT remarried)

...the victim of adultery is free to remarry after a divorce.

That's great. Too bad for those who are physically or mentally abused.... guess it stinks to be them, huh?

Well, once one's spouse dies, one is free to remarry also. I'm not suggesting anything, just sayin'.

[connermt]

3) Divorced based on spouse sexual improprieties (and NOT remarried)

...the victim of adultery is free to remarry after a divorce.

That's great. Too bad for those who are physically or mentally abused.... guess it stinks to be them, huh?

Well, once one's spouse dies, one is free to remarry also. I'm not suggesting anything, just sayin'.

Absolutely. So, is it OK to divorce if one's abused?

[Zzyzx]

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[Replying to post 5 by dianaiad]

No matter how you slice it Christians are at least as likely as Non-Christians to get divorced even though the bible makes it clear that god and Jesus require that people who marry are to stay married for life and remarriage after divorce is committing adultery (with VERY few exceptions).

Gallup polls indicate that 63% of divorced people remarry. Though the statistics on remarriage are not broken down by religious preference, it is safe to assume that many divorced Christians remarry – and in most cases that means living in sin (presumably without repentance).

What does this indicate about morals, righteousness, and following the bible?