Is it right to deceive?

[Galphanore]

I am an atheist, very much so. However, atheism is a very small part of my life. My girlfriend, however, is Christian, very Christian. It is a large part of her life. From my perspective I do not care what her religious beliefs are because we click on just about everything else, we are great together in fact but recently she asked me what I believed in reference to religion. At the time I was somewhat deceptive, I just told her how I was raised. I was raised as a Roman Catholic. Then I switch the topic.

The question that has bugged me, however, is that I am essentially deceiving her because I am not Catholic, not even a little. I am, however, afraid of what it could mean to our relationship if I told her I was an atheist. I don't mind going to church with her, because I enjoy spending time with her and as far as I am concerned it's essentially a social club. My question to all of you then becomes, what do you think of this? Is it right to deceive in this way? Would you consider it worth the possible trouble to bring this subject back up myself and tell the truth? Do you think this kind of deception can only lead to more trouble later?

I realize that the first answer may be that it's a personal opinion that I should come to myself, and I am thinking about it to do so myself right now, but I am also curious what all of you think.

[Nilloc James]

Is it just sex? Lie, lie, lie

Is it something deeper? I have made a personal decision that I will not contradict my principles to suit anyone. Either a girl is cool with me and my opinions, or she ain't. I've learned that for me, lying just don't cut it.

Joey has a point.

If she won't accept you for you regardless of a petty thing like religion* do you really want to be with her.@

*Okay refering to the foundation of peoples soul with the word petty, bad idea.

@Sorta depends on other things as well, like if she is hot.

_______

The above post includes sarcasm...DEAL WITH IT

[OnceConvinced]

I think you're treading on dangerous waters not being honest with her. For many Christians they take very seriously the scripture about being "unequally yoked", ie, getting into serious relationships with unbelievers. You could find major trouble ahead if she happens to find out you have no faith and that you were misleading her. For her to be able to trust you, you need to be up front with everything. If she really loves you, then she'll accept you for who you are.

It seems you want to honor her beliefs. You can do that without having to compromise your principles. Tell her you don't believe in God but you fully support her and that you will go to church with her and all that. In fact if you go to church with her, she may feel that there is a chance you may become a Christian. I would hope it would mean a lot to her that you aren't going to try to deter her from going or are going to force any of your opinions on her.

Somewhere along the line she's bound to work out you don't believe. I think it would be hard to maintain the charade without slipping up somewhere along the line.

[Galphanore]

I think you're treading on dangerous waters not being honest with her. For many Christians they take very seriously the scripture about being "unequally yoked", ie, getting into serious relationships with unbelievers. You could find major trouble ahead if she happens to find out you have no faith and that you were misleading her. For her to be able to trust you, you need to be up front with everything. If she really loves you, then she'll accept you for who you are.

It seems you want to honor her beliefs. You can do that without having to compromise your principles. Tell her you don't believe in God but you fully support her and that you will go to church with her and all that. In fact if you go to church with her, she may feel that there is a chance you may become a Christian. I would hope it would mean a lot to her that you aren't going to try to deter her from going or are going to force any of your opinions on her.

Somewhere along the line she's bound to work out you don't believe. I think it would be hard to maintain the charade without slipping up somewhere along the line.

That's much the same as I've concluded as well. I'm going to talk with her about it next time I see her.

[Angel]

I think you're treading on dangerous waters not being honest with her. For many Christians they take very seriously the scripture about being "unequally yoked", ie, getting into serious relationships with unbelievers. You could find major trouble ahead if she happens to find out you have no faith and that you were misleading her. For her to be able to trust you, you need to be up front with everything. If she really loves you, then she'll accept you for who you are.

It seems you want to honor her beliefs. You can do that without having to compromise your principles. Tell her you don't believe in God but you fully support her and that you will go to church with her and all that. In fact if you go to church with her, she may feel that there is a chance you may become a Christian. I would hope it would mean a lot to her that you aren't going to try to deter her from going or are going to force any of your opinions on her.

Somewhere along the line she's bound to work out you don't believe. I think it would be hard to maintain the charade without slipping up somewhere along the line.

I put the (or like) in brackets as I did not want to jump to conclusions.

However, as she IS nondenom, it has protestant "leanings" and as such, if she was all cool with the RCC "background" then I don't reckon she will have any issue with your openness as to not being RCC or any denomination of xianity, NOW. If she loves you as you love her, then it should not matter.

It IS something you have to work out with yourself, and you seem to be a very sincere guy. You however should not have to change WHO you are, or even pretend to for anyone.

Apols if that was blunt, but if you can't be true to yourself, you cannot be true to anyone else.

Most everybody's advice here was good but you guys post stood out to me. I too was in a relationship, except I'm the Christian and the girl was the atheist. I and my ex-girlfriend never got into any real problems regarding our differences in belief, but then again she was a very open-minded person and we never stayed together for me to know how if any real potential problems would've crept up. At the end though, she did become a Christian and I don't know if it'll sound too arrogant to say that she may've made that change for me, *in part*.

I hope everything worked out for you, Galphanore.