How to irritate an atheist

[bernee51]

How to irritate an atheist.

Have any of these ever happended to you? Which is your favourite?

For me it is a toss up between #7 and #18

[SarraceniaScott]

These amuse me:

4) Invite their children to go to church with you.(My children would destroy their children's faith...)

6) Hide Chick tracts in clever places around their office.

18) Tell them they know in their hearts that God exists.

31) Lead off your criticism of the Big Bang theory with the disclaimer that you're not a physicist like he is. (I *am* a physicist...)

39) Blame absolutely everything wrong in society on evolution.

63) Ask him how he knows God isn't real if he can't see the air.

82) Smile smugly and tell him that there are no atheists in foxholes.

101) Upon hearing that he is an atheist, jump back reflexively, as if you don't want to catch whatever it is he's got.

102) ...then look at him as if he were a diseased leper who just spit in your eye.

166) Play Matthew McConnaghey: "Do you love this person? Prove it."

271) Insist that the Bible is completely true.

These piss me off:

13) Use the Second Law of Thermodynamics to disprove evolution.

14) Post inane arguments on the Internet, and never follow up on them.

16) Cite Kent Hovind as a legitimate source of information.

55) Punch him in the face. Hard.

76) Burn him at the stake.

89) Equivocate scientific faith with religious faith, and conclude that, metaphysically, you are both in the same boat.

124) Say that evolution is not proven -- therefore the Bible is correct.

125) Tell him it's his responsibility to prove that God doesn't exist.

152) After your argument has been effectively refuted, wait a few days and then repeapt the argument, adding, "You still haven't addressed this."

176) Include cosmology and abiogenesis when discussing evolution.

244) Grossly misunderstand the word "theory."

281) When ending your conversation with the atheist, promise to read whatever book the atheist may have mentioned, knowing darned well that you yourself never made it through Leviticus.

And these merit instant annihilation:

24) Drink the last beer in the fridge.

25) ...and buy natural light to replace it.

67) Knock on his door at 9:00 in the morning and offer him a pamphlet.

79) Lead him on until the very last moment, then tell him no . . . not until you're married.

187) Sing.

[Cephus]

The site moved to: http://myweb.cableone.net/silentdave/ho ... theist.htm

Let's see, my Top 5:

7) Tell them that the universe is too complex to "just exist," and must have been created by a God who "just exists."

Amazing how they shut up when you point that out though, isn't it?

13) Use the Second Law of Thermodynamics to disprove evolution.

Just ask if they know what thermodynamics is. Then point out that the most ordered thermodynamic state that ever existed was at the point of the Big Bang and that it's been steadily losing order ever since. Apparent order today is, in reality, extremely disordered thermodynamically.

28) Tell him you don't care what you say or prove, you will still have your faith.

At that point, the debate is over. Show them the door. Give them their parting gifts. Why bother talking to a block of wood?

67) Knock on his door at 9:00 in the morning and offer him a pamphlet.

I had a great solution to this, way back when. I made up a bunch of fake pamphlets for a Satanic church, complete with blood and baby sacrificing and drinking the blood of Christians, etc. When the Mormons or JWs came to the door and wanted to leave their reading material, I said sure, so long as they took one of mine.

They didn't come back.

The best solution though is to invite them in and systematically shred everything they say. It makes them run. Now, I'm on everyone's blacklist and nobody comes to my door.

143) Show that the Bible must be true because when you take the original Hebrew letters, spread them out and twist them around, you can spell words.

It's really hard to believe that people can't see the basic flaws in the Da Vinci Code nonsense, but it's just another indicator of how irrational and illogical the general public is these days. I always point out that you can do the same thing in Moby Dick or any other large book and come up with more 'predictors' of the future that... you can't find until after the event has passed.