How to irritate an atheist

bernee51 · Post by **bernee51** » Sun Jan 30, 2005 11:58 am

How to irritate an atheist.

Have any of these ever happended to you? Which is your favourite?

For me it is a toss up between #7 and #18

The Happy Humanist · Post by **The Happy Humanist** » Sun Jan 30, 2005 5:20 pm

If you've hung around Cyberspace as long as I have (since 1979), they've ALL happened...

I think Harvey's trying to pull #44 on us right now...

bernee51 · Post by **bernee51** » Mon Jan 31, 2005 11:35 am

jimspeiser wrote:If you've hung around Cyberspace as long as I have (since 1979), they've ALL happened... I think Harvey's trying to pull #44 on us right now...

Which reminds me - ol' mate Harv hasn't answered my question yet - is he an agnostic theist or a gnostic theist?

bigmrpig · Post by **bigmrpig** » Mon Jan 31, 2005 1:14 pm

184) Insist that homosexuality is a choice.

That one bugs me a lot

Nyril · Post by **Nyril** » Mon Jan 31, 2005 8:33 pm

1) Ask them why they are bitter against God.

Damn. I get this one on another board rather often.

potwalloper. · Post by **potwalloper.** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 11:54 am

67) Knock on his door at 9:00 in the morning and offer him a pamphlet.

This has to be the one for me.

You have a number of possible replies:

1 No thank you (smile and close the door)

2 I am already a Christian (grimace and close the door)

3 I do not believe in God (close the door 45 minutes later...)

4 I am a satanist (close the door and nail up the letterbox...)

5 I am gay (leave the door open and watch him run)

6 Say nothing and stare at him...and stare at him...and stare at him

7 Invite him in and offer him a biscuit coated with Ex-Lax...then watch him run!

But the best is...look out of the window and leave the bugger on the doorstep

The Happy Humanist · Post by **The Happy Humanist** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 12:25 pm

potwalloper. wrote:
67) Knock on his door at 9:00 in the morning and offer him a pamphlet.
This has to be the one for me.

You have a number of possible replies:

1 No thank you (smile and close the door)

2 I am already a Christian (grimace and close the door)

3 I do not believe in God (close the door 45 minutes later...)

4 I am a satanist (close the door and nail up the letterbox...)

5 I am gay (leave the door open and watch him run)

6 Say nothing and stare at him...and stare at him...and stare at him

7 Invite him in and offer him a biscuit coated with Ex-Lax...then watch him run!

But the best is...look out of the window and leave the bugger on the doorstep

My parents had a great way to handle this. My dad kept his talis, yarmulke and Torah in the foyer, and would don them and start davvening in the living room just before my mom opened the door.

The kicker is, he's Catholic!

As for myself, I tell them no thanks, I'm a secular humanist. A lot of them express genuine curiosity at this. So I invite them in and explain the whole thing. Especially if they have kids with them, which a lot of times they do. I take their watchtower and promise to read it if they promise to read anything by Paul Kurtz.

bernee51 · Post by **bernee51** » Tue Feb 01, 2005 1:04 pm

potwalloper. wrote:
67) Knock on his door at 9:00 in the morning and offer him a pamphlet.
That reminds me of an old joke....

What do you get when you cross an SDA with a Hell's Angel?

Someone who knocks on your door on Saturday morning and tells you to f*ck off.

Boom, boom

Zarathustra · Post by **Zarathustra** » Sat Feb 12, 2005 10:15 pm

The list has moved: http://myweb.cableone.net/silentdave/ho ... theist.htm

Corvus · Post by **Corvus** » Wed Feb 16, 2005 3:27 am

potwalloper. wrote:
67) Knock on his door at 9:00 in the morning and offer him a pamphlet.
This has to be the one for me.

You have a number of possible replies:

1 No thank you (smile and close the door)

2 I am already a Christian (grimace and close the door)

3 I do not believe in God (close the door 45 minutes later...)

4 I am a satanist (close the door and nail up the letterbox...)

5 I am gay (leave the door open and watch him run)

6 Say nothing and stare at him...and stare at him...and stare at him

7 Invite him in and offer him a biscuit coated with Ex-Lax...then watch him run!

But the best is...look out of the window and leave the bugger on the doorstep

I find "no thanks, I've already got one" to be a good response, before promptly shutting the door.