A problem I commonly find myself with

[mav2097]

Most of my family and friends practice some sort of christianity and I often hear remarks related to the bible, god, or jesus as well as moral dilemmas brought about by something written in the bible. It's difficult sometimes but I find myself biting my tongue in order to keep from offending anyone.

Anyway, my question is how do you deal with these situations when they arise?
Do you do as I do and keep your mouth shut? Change the subject? Speak your mind even if it might offend someone? (etc.)

[LiamOS]

At least one form I've filled in has had Theological Non-cognitivist as an option.

I love [strike]Europe[/strike]the 21st Century.

[Zzyzx]

.
I have a little different life situation than most. First, I answer to no one (other than my wife by choice) -- no boss, no customers, no controlling family, friends or neighbors. I owe nothing to anyone and do not need or seek anyone's approval, support or money.

Second, I am a rather large and confident person (some might say imposing or even obnoxious) who is seldom challenged directly or indirectly. Humble, meek, subservient I am obviously not.

My friends and neighbors here in the infamous Bible Belt realize that I am not a fellow Christian -- not necessarily from what I say but from what I do not say. I do not engage in any "god talk" with anyone, and most people quickly learn to avoid trying to talk at me about such things.

Although my wife (who is a very different sort of Christian) and I do a lot of volunteer work at a Christian-run food bank, no one there attempts to include us in their prayers or religious services. We do hard and valuable work in the warehouse that others cannot or will not do, and what we do is appreciated and respected -- without any "god talk" being directed toward us.

Although many of my wife's family members are religious (though not fanatical for the most part) they do not attempt to convince her to go to church with them -- and certainly do not even broach the subject of religion with me. They just note that she seems incredibly happy being married to this nasty old Non-Christian (that they seem to grudgingly like in spite of themselves).

It has been many years since anyone has been bold enough to question my religious beliefs in person. If that were to happen, I would respond much as I do in these debates -- ONE time and briefly. I do NOT debate religion in private because I have no interest in anyone's personal and private beliefs (and it is a waste of my time). Here, where our threads often receive thousands of views, what we say is available for consideration and evaluation by a large number of people (more time effective), some of whom are searching for answers to their own theological questions. I attempt to provide alternatives to the religious propaganda that permeates our societies.

[OnceConvinced]

I often find myself talking about religion with Christians. But in my day-to-day life I try not to offend.

Why should stating your views be taken as "offensive"? There's this idea that an atheist speaking his or her mind is somehow offensive. I don't see it that way.

Why do you think your views are offensive?

Bob

You've been on this site for a while now. Surely you yourself have seen Christians get upset over the silliest things?

The thing is once you start challenging beliefs and pointing out the flaws in their arguments and attempt to demonstrate that the bible is the word of fallible man rather than an infallible God, you're gonna upset people. I value many of my Christian friends and just don't want to take the risk at the moment.

[Meow Mix]

I have not experienced revulsion, instead I have experienced disbelief that I am atheist. But then this is New York, not Texas.

Without getting into details about where I work, let's just say that it's a religious non-profit organization and that I had to take a class in "diversity training" twice (because I apparently forgot to sign in the first time). Hoo boy, if they knew anything about me in that class I think some of them might have had a heart attack.

For instance, the instructor said something along the lines of, "You never know what kind of diverse people are around you. In fact, in one of our last classes we even had an atheist!" The last word was said in a hushed manner as if it was taboo and lightning was going to strike her. People in the room literally started looking around and I'm pretty sure I saw an older lady actually put her hand over her mouth. I'm not kidding.

To be fair, I doubt any of my co-workers would hate atheists. I just don't think they're... exposed to them. In any case, I wanted to practically scream "I'm a lesbian and an atheist, BOO!" ...but that wouldn't have worked, ironically (in a diversity class) considering I'm functionally aphonic and so can't scream. Foiled again!

[LiamOS]

Meow Mix, America fascinates me in that sense. I've met a lot of Americans, and on average they're what I expected.
It sure will be interesting when I eventually cross the pond.

[Prisoner of the Sun]

An amusing example of my own. I am a sonographer - I perform ultrasound scans. Here in Oz, one of the most common examinations is a shoulder U/S for for pain or limited movement. I had a patient just a couple of weeks ago with a partial tear and bursitis in her her rotator cuff. There was no history of trauma, so she asked me how this had happened. I told that it was just wear and tear. "How did that happen?" I explained that "depending on your point of view, the shoulder was just badly designed or a modified front leg, and was prone to problems to anyone over the age of 45." She took great offence to:
1. That God was an imperfect designer OR
2. That humans had evolved from ape-like ancestors.

Anyway, I got into deep trouble as she made a formal complaint against me. Luckily, I am very good at my job and got only a slap on my wrist, so to speak. Next time I will not let my mouth run away with me!!

[McCulloch]

Where I work, they take diversity seriously. We have an active Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered Employees Person network, we have a Chief Diversity Officer who reports directly to the CEO, we have been recognized as one of Canada's best diversity employers for 2011 and one of the best employers for new Canadians for three years running. All while remaining the largest firm in our industry. They have got the message, diversity done correctly is good for business.

[Darias]

Most of my family and friends practice some sort of christianity and I often hear remarks related to the bible, god, or jesus as well as moral dilemmas brought about by something written in the bible. It's difficult sometimes but I find myself biting my tongue in order to keep from offending anyone.

Anyway, my question is how do you deal with these situations when they arise?
Do you do as I do and keep your mouth shut? Change the subject? Speak your mind even if it might offend someone? (etc.)

I just had a discussion with my mother and sister about my position on Christianity and faith and let me tell you it wasn't taken well.

I haven't talked about Christianity with them in like a year, and they haven't bothered me about it --but I just wanted to make sure they knew where I stand and why I believe what I believe and... they both took offense, as if it was some sort of attack.

They just keep getting more religious by the day. My mom watches Andrew Wommack religiously. My sister and her boyfriend read their Bibles all the time, and honestly I don't have a problem with their openness with their religion, but they can't stand a mention of my skepticism or problems with Christian teachings and aspects of Christian theology I find illogical or immoral. I used to believe the same way they did so I can identify with them but they have no desire to even want to understand where I'm coming from.

For them all this thinking and skepticism nonsense is irrelevant and its all about feeling and "knowing" and "if you just read the Bible, Jesus will be 'true' for you."

I'm not normally outspoken about my opinions with strangers about faith but I at least want my family to know how I feel and where I stand -- no sense in pretending.

But... it bothers me most knowing my mere expression or discussion of my views hurts them and upsets them to the point they think I'm headed to hell... to the point where they feel like they have to forgo sleep to pray that God will "change my heart"

I've tried the whole "a relationship with Jesus is the only thing that can satisfy and fulfill you as a person." and it didn't work for me... it works for them... but they can't accept my position.

So now I wonder was talking about it even worth it at all? Should I just never talk about religion again -- even in moments of disagreement where I can't stand to hear something nonsensical? Do I just go back into my agnostic closet and keep to myself?

I mean, is it really worth it when it upsets people you love? (it's not like I'm bashing God or religion either... just my mere questioning of faith is "heartbreaking").

Idk, I just wish me and my family were closer and talked more but, it seems my beliefs make it impossible for them to identify with me and talking about anything more than the weather becomes taboo.

[Goat]

Most of my family and friends practice some sort of christianity and I often hear remarks related to the bible, god, or jesus as well as moral dilemmas brought about by something written in the bible. It's difficult sometimes but I find myself biting my tongue in order to keep from offending anyone.

Anyway, my question is how do you deal with these situations when they arise?
Do you do as I do and keep your mouth shut? Change the subject? Speak your mind even if it might offend someone? (etc.)

I just had a discussion with my mother and sister about my position on Christianity and faith and let me tell you it wasn't taken well.

I haven't talked about Christianity with them in like a year, and they haven't bothered me about it --but I just wanted to make sure they knew where I stand and why I believe what I believe and... they both took offense, as if it was some sort of attack.

They just keep getting more religious by the day. My mom watches Andrew Wommack religiously. My sister and her boyfriend read their Bibles all the time, and honestly I don't have a problem with their openness with their religion, but they can't stand a mention of my skepticism or problems with Christian teachings and aspects of Christian theology I find illogical or immoral. I used to believe the same way they did so I can identify with them but they have no desire to even want to understand where I'm coming from.

For them all this thinking and skepticism nonsense is irrelevant and its all about feeling and "knowing" and "if you just read the Bible, Jesus will be 'true' for you."

I'm not normally outspoken about my opinions with strangers about faith but I at least want my family to know how I feel and where I stand -- no sense in pretending.

But... it bothers me most knowing my mere expression or discussion of my views hurts them and upsets them to the point they think I'm headed to hell... to the point where they feel like they have to forgo sleep to pray that God will "change my heart"

I've tried the whole "a relationship with Jesus is the only thing that can satisfy and fulfill you as a person." and it didn't work for me... it works for them... but they can't accept my position.

So now I wonder was talking about it even worth it at all? Should I just never talk about religion again -- even in moments of disagreement where I can't stand to hear something nonsensical? Do I just go back into my agnostic closet and keep to myself?

I mean, is it really worth it when it upsets people you love? (it's not like I'm bashing God or religion either... just my mere questioning of faith is "heartbreaking").

Idk, I just wish me and my family were closer and talked more but, it seems my beliefs make it impossible for them to identify with me and talking about anything more than the weather becomes taboo.

I can sympathize with your position. I am lucky.. as a 'devote atheist', I probably am the most religious of my immediate family. You mentioned it once, they know where you are coming from, and just let it flow from here.