Feeling of emptiness

[Confused]

After finally accepting the truth as I see it and finding a sort of comfort with it, I still feel this emptiness that I can't quite fill. After weighing the information and making an informed decision, I feel I have made the right decision finally. But I can't help feeling as if I am mourning the loss of some sort of hope. Is this normal or am I going insane now to boot?

[Confused]

By the way, this is what I filled my "pond" with.

I think Persnickety Platypus has a point. You may be looking for a new moral compass, which would be Humanism.

There is a one page statement from the American Humanist Association that summarizes Humanism. It’s a very inspirational document. The title is "Humanism And its Aspirations."

Meeting others like yourself is also important. Groups of Atheists, Agnostics, Freethinkers, Humanists, and other people of similar interests are meeting up and forming new friendships through sites like www.meetup.com. I have just started attending these meet ups and the people are just great. I can’t wait for the next meeting.

And then their is us. We are here in this forum to help each other figure out what it’s all about.

Other than what I have already stated my advise is: The most important thing in life is happiness. This does not mean we should only think of ourselves. We are happiest when the people in our lives are also happy. It’s in our programming to feel good when we are helping others. You could say, "The reward of love is happiness." It was true when you were a Christian and it’s true now.

Thank you for your advice. I will look into this meetup site. I agree with you about happiness. Though I can't claim ever being Christian, I can say that my life is centered around treating others in kindness as they treat me. If they can't, well, I am human and subject to temper tantrums like anyone else. It just seems to me that the personal attacks are what I am having the hardest time with. That and the fact that I am no longer known as anything by an atheist to many of the Christians on this site that at one point or another used to say keep searching etc..... Oh well.

I have been reading your posts for awhile about your son, and it really hits home with me. I have an 11 year daughter that has been a type 1 diabetic since she was diagnosed at 4. Forgive me, I know that her condition is by far no comparison to your son's, but I do feel that it changed my life as well. Her condition has helped opened my mind, to be a freethinker, and help me find my true sense of morality. I find more meaning to life now, than I ever had before. I look upon the human race with so much more admiration, than I did as a Christian. We are a very special species, that have the unique ability to appreciate life itself.

I too had problems at first filling this "void", but after much thought, I came to a couple of startling realizations.

One being that, why do we feel so special to garner this delusion of immortality? What are we... freaking vampires or something? Do we really and truly want to live forever? I no longer feel this need anymore. I have become completely complacent with the one I have, and to make the best of it.

Two, why must we feel so guilty about being human? That no matter what religion dictates to us, that we are not worthless sinners seeking worth through the "grace of God". We determine are own worth. And our plight itself is a worthy one at that. I believe it is Humanism, as defined by that link.

Yes, it would be nice for my daughter to be cured of this ailment, let alone some place set aside for her after she dies where her body is no longer ravaged by this awful affliction, but until medical science discovers a cure, I will depend on their advancements in medicine to keep her alive and healthy.

Please don't ever feel as if you must apologize because you don't see your daughters illness as devastating as my sons. It is. I know the long term effects of Type I diabetes. I also know that even if she doesn't suffer from half of them, the devastation a childhood illness impacts on the family is the same, regardless of the illness. It is like we have been hit head on by a semi-truck and all we were doing was standing in our lawn. But the bad part is that we weren't hurt by it, our child was. It doesn't matter how much you want to protect them, the fact is, damage already happened and you didn't even know it until after it was too late. The sad part is that society wants to label our children as less than perfect and religion wants to label us as the cause of our childrens suffering because of our past sins or because of some "original sin". I have been blamed so many times for my sons condition. I have heard excuses as to why the church is valid in refusing to minister to him. I have condemned myself so many times wondering what I did wrong while I was pregnant. I have searched for anything to give meaning to Alans purpose in life. Let me tell you, I can find none. I have heard how God doesn't do anything without a reason, yet God couldn't take 2 seconds to give me some hope that He exists so that I could believe it.

What I have found is that I may have this feeling of emptiness, but I can live with it. I can because I no longer have the feelings of guilt. The feeling that it is my fault my son was born as he is. The feeling that my children will have to pay for any "sins" I commit. Instead, I choose to live my life as I want them to live theirs, with as much enjoyment and happiness as they can find. Cherish it. Treat others as you want to be treated, with respect and with dignity, and all things will come around. The problems of today seem like droplets of mist rather than an overwhelming thunderstorm after a good nights sleep. I have no reason to feel guilty for being human. I am responsible for my actions, not those of my parents. My children are responsible for their actions, not those of their parents.

I am still looking into the concept of humanism. It has me a bit on edge because it is so simplistic. While it is said that the simpler the concept, the more likely it is to be the correct concept, I am still harboring that doubt phase, so I am still researching it. Anyone with some good links they could provide would be greatly appreciated.

[The Persnickety Platypus]

Two, why must we feel so guilty about being human? That no matter what religion dictates to us, that we are not worthless sinners seeking worth through the "grace of God". We determine are own worth. And our plight itself is a worthy one at that.

Indeed. So often I am made to feel as if I must apologise for even existing.

That's never going to happen.

I am still looking into the concept of humanism. It has me a bit on edge because it is so simplistic. While it is said that the simpler the concept, the more likely it is to be the correct concept, I am still harboring that doubt phase, so I am still researching it. Anyone with some good links they could provide would be greatly appreciated.

If you rely on you own personal sense of logic and reason in making moral judgements, and affirm the innate dignity and ability of man, then you are all ready a humanist. The only question is whether or not you choose to adopt the title.

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand was my biggest inspiration. If you have never read it (which would surely be an unforgivable sin, if sin existed), do so promptly.

[wrekk]

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand was my biggest inspiration. If you have never read it (which would surely be an unforgivable sin, if sin existed), do so promptly.

Hmmm... looked it up on Wiki and it sounds intriguing to say the least. I will have to find this and check it out. Ever seen the movie? Is it as good?

[McCulloch]

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand was my biggest inspiration. If you have never read it (which would surely be an unforgivable sin, if sin existed), do so promptly.

I found Rand's philosophy, thinly disguised as a novel, somewhat simplistic.

[The Persnickety Platypus]

Must life be complicated?

[McCulloch]

For every problem there is a simple straightforward solution. It is usually wrong.

[bernee51]

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand was my biggest inspiration. If you have never read it (which would surely be an unforgivable sin, if sin existed), do so promptly.

Personally I preferred Atlas Shrugged - and I was quite surprised when my 15 year old son chose that (along with The Communist Manifesto and Animal Farm) as one of his reference texts for a school project..."Would a capitalist society ever freely choose communism"?

[Cmass]

Confused said:

Doesn't answer my question though. Is this feeling of loss of some sort of hope normal?

Yes, loss of an easy answer is normal. Being kicked out of, or being left out of a group that you no longer identify with can invoke a sense of loss.
PM me on this, I have some suggestions.
For others, the first is to shut the f*&K up, go outside, sit by a stream and listen. Shut up. Just be quiet. Listen. Don't talk. Don't ask. Don't beg. Don't insist upon an answer. Just listen.
There. Do you hear it?
There is your God.
Or as close as you will get to it.
If you don't hear it, you are internally too noisy and full of expectation and/or the blaring of the TVangelists.
Just.
Be.
Quiet.
And.
Listen.
There is your God.

[Cmass]

It just occurred to me: I live on 15 acres on a mountainside with 3 fast flowing streams on my property. If you would like, I can record these in MP3 format and send them to you. I can also send you a slide show of the actual stream where the recording took place.
Then you can put on your headphones, sit back, look at pictures of the stream and contemplate God.
Your emptiness will disappear! Money back guarantee!

[k-nug]

After the decision to abandon an evangelical, full gospel God, I did feel a sense of loss. I'm not sure if it was the loss of the social aspect of the church I attended, or the loss of a God that I had studied, prayed and sought after with obsession. I felt alone for the first time, that truly I amounted to a speck of dirt on the face of the Universe. As I began to change my worldview, I began to see just how special I, and every human on the planet, is. I am the only me in this vast expanse. There is no other. I am unique in this universe, therefore I am special. At the same time, I am not alone. There are 5 billion others here with me, and we together, are also unique.

I have also been attracted to the idea of the collective unconscious as described by Carl Jung. There are a plethora of websites covering this that you can google, as well as the original material itself. It refers to a level of unconsciousness that is separate from your own personal consciousness, and it his inherited rather than gleaned from personal experience. I won't go into it any further because of my ignorance on the subject, as I have just begun looking into it, but It's an interesting idea, and explains (to me) the commonalities of the human experience as I see it.

Anyways, I find myself much more at peace with my choice, and with my reality. To realize that I must make my own way, and that I am not inherently sinful from birth, makes me appreciate what I have and the little time that the universe saw fit to let me make my own little place. To not have to depend on some outside force to save me from myself, or to use a carrot/stick method to get me to "behave", is very empowering.

Hope this helps...