Your first love

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Tart
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Your first love

Post #1

Post by Tart »

I think about revaluations 2... The letter to the Church in Ephesus...

I ponder its meaning...

"I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. 5 Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first."


I think about my life, and entertain what i first loved... What was it? Not listening to my dad? Being foolish? Lighting fires? Blowing up fish? Kind of an evil love... Smoking cigarettes? Doing drugs? Entertaining all the depraved lust in the world? Being a fool?

I entertain what my first love could have been had i had the spirit... Loving good? Hating bad? But i didnt have the spirit when i was young and innocent...

Then when i started believing, i was in a jail cell all alone... Is that my first love? Am i destined to be in this position? Perhaps im in a prison of my own mind?

Now? No one will give me a job... They make me beg for it, and then tell me im not good enough... I do nothing, but drive around, go to the library, and ponder my life... idk...

Tart
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Post #2

Post by Tart »

This is the church that talks about eating from the tree of life.. i kind of idolize this church, its like a dream to me... But im starting to hate idols and dreams all together.. Like they are just always out of my grasp... I just want to live in reality...

But for years i have been thinking about the tree of life... And the other night, i had a vision, a voice said "the tree of life", and it took me to a tree and it turned into a girl in a wedding dress, and she had a ring on her finger... then it took me to the other side of the tree, and there was two kids sitting there, maybe teenagers, high schoolers... Goofy kids...

there was other stuff, but i forgot it...

Tart
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Post #3

Post by Tart »

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i like this song.. it just popped up.. look at those eyes... Makes you wonder... A mystery... "The name written on her forehead was a mystery"... ~Revelations... This stuff is playing out guys... On earth...

You know what this lady is asking for salvation in? In all her wickedness and lust... That is her "salvation" (quote on quote)....

myabe... idk... Would she turn to Jesus? Probably not...

In fact i heard a voice tell me just now "shes too good"...

Tart
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Post #4

Post by Tart »

God im terrified... Of these demons torturing me forever...

Tart
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Post #5

Post by Tart »

Dont worry guys. i just got a message from God... How faithless i can get...

Keep having faith... seek it out guys...

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