The pressure of a church

[The Ex-Mormon]

Today, I would like to write about something what has concerned my thoughts for some time. The pressure of a church on their members. It is not only about my personal experiences with the LDS but about it that this which happens more or less in all churches seems to be a phenomenon.
Cause for this topic is the behavior of the members of my former church (LDS).
I am officially no more a member of the church now. I had written a letter to "good friends" in the church in whom I described my reasons for my leaving. At and I offered everyone, to contact me privately.
I hoped that the one or other "friend" of mine would come to thinking. I was probably too naive there!
I received letters, e-mails and calls. But not because the members had questions; but because they accused me.
A sister was so "kind" to inform me; that the bishop gave every member the "advice" in an address that they shouldn't contact me. Unless they would bring me on the "right path" again.
The members accused me of having lack faith or be on the path of apostacy, because I did not want to follow the words of the prophet any more. Yes, even adultery was imputed to me! I was threatened by an counselor of the bishop; That I would loose all the blessings of God and the church if I would further leave the church.. My answer was "God can kiss my ass!"
I was furious! I am still furious!
But it also shows me one thing:
The members cannot think independently. They are like robots which without opposition respond to orders.
The pressure in the RCC or with the southern baptists might not be so bad but for the one of this for persons affected, it is bad enough. So families are destroyed.
By the way "family": My future former husband has the divorce for court and applies for the only custody; and to be more precise with the reason; that I would be unsuitable as a mother. And to be more precise, because I would work.
If he wants a war, he can get a war. Good that I have a good contact to one of his employees.

[Nickman]

Today, I would like to write about something what has concerned my thoughts for some time. The pressure of a church on their members. It is not only about my personal experiences with the LDS but about it that this which happens more or less in all churches seems to be a phenomenon.
Cause for this topic is the behavior of the members of my former church (LDS).
I am officially no more a member of the church now. I had written a letter to "good friends" in the church in whom I described my reasons for my leaving. At and I offered everyone, to contact me privately.
I hoped that the one or other "friend" of mine would come to thinking. I was probably too naive there!
I received letters, e-mails and calls. But not because the members had questions; but because they accused me.
A sister was so "kind" to inform me; that the bishop gave every member the "advice" in an address that they shouldn't contact me. Unless they would bring me on the "right path" again.
The members accused me of having lack faith or be on the path of apostacy, because I did not want to follow the words of the prophet any more. Yes, even adultery was imputed to me! I was threatened by an counselor of the bishop; That I would loose all the blessings of God and the church if I would further leave the church.. My answer was "God can kiss my ass!"
I was furious! I am still furious!
But it also shows me one thing:
The members cannot think independently. They are like robots which without opposition respond to orders.
The pressure in the RCC or with the southern baptists might not be so bad but for the one of this for persons affected, it is bad enough. So families are destroyed.
By the way "family": My future former husband has the divorce for court and applies for the only custody; and to be more precise with the reason; that I would be unsuitable as a mother. And to be more precise, because I would work.
If he wants a war, he can get a war. Good that I have a good contact to one of his employees.

What did I tell you before you left TM? I said they would act exactly the way they are now. I must be a prophet, lol. It is typical behaviour of LDS members. They only care about you if you are following the prophet. If you don't they will accuse you of sin and infidelity, as well as lack of faith. You know the truth though. You took a chance to search out your faith and its dirty laundry came to light. It takes a courageous person to do so.

[The Ex-Mormon]

What did I tell you before you left TM? I said they would act exactly the way they are now.

You have said it! And I thought in my naivety that it would not get so bad.

I must be a prophet, lol.

Oh prophet Nick. You are greater than all prophets before you. Greater even than Joseph Smith and Thommy Monson! I bow my head in respect in front of you; and worships you.

It is typical behaviour of LDS members. They only care about you if you are following the prophet.

They want to control your life. Dictating to you what you shall eat, think and do. Whom you shall love and hate.

If you don't they will accuse you of sin and infidelity, as well as lack of faith. You know the truth though.

The bad is the disappointment about the people. People whom I considered my friends. People to whom I sometimes entrusted things about which I did not even talk to my husband. I am sure now that these "friends" will oppose me. That they will report personal conversations to the bishop or my husband. So that he gets the custody. Because as of now I am no more good mother in the eyes of the members; because I have dared to leave the LDS. Not only the LDS but also my husband; and with that; in ther eyes; I have had committed adultery. And this one throws dirt at covenants of the temple.
They shall believe whatever they want to believe.

You took a chance to search out your faith and its dirty laundry came to light. It takes a courageous person to do so.

Of the "dirty laundry" I have got a small sample. But I can defend myself. We really want to see once who leaves the courtroom at the end as a winner.

[aguy]

Today, I would like to write about something what has concerned my thoughts for some time. The pressure of a church on their members. It is not only about my personal experiences with the LDS but about it that this which happens more or less in all churches seems to be a phenomenon.
Cause for this topic is the behavior of the members of my former church (LDS).
I am officially no more a member of the church now. I had written a letter to "good friends" in the church in whom I described my reasons for my leaving. At and I offered everyone, to contact me privately.
I hoped that the one or other "friend" of mine would come to thinking. I was probably too naive there!
I received letters, e-mails and calls. But not because the members had questions; but because they accused me.
A sister was so "kind" to inform me; that the bishop gave every member the "advice" in an address that they shouldn't contact me. Unless they would bring me on the "right path" again.
The members accused me of having lack faith or be on the path of apostacy, because I did not want to follow the words of the prophet any more. Yes, even adultery was imputed to me! I was threatened by an counselor of the bishop; That I would loose all the blessings of God and the church if I would further leave the church.. My answer was "God can kiss my ass!"
I was furious! I am still furious!
But it also shows me one thing:
The members cannot think independently. They are like robots which without opposition respond to orders.
The pressure in the RCC or with the southern baptists might not be so bad but for the one of this for persons affected, it is bad enough. So families are destroyed.
By the way "family": My future former husband has the divorce for court and applies for the only custody; and to be more precise with the reason; that I would be unsuitable as a mother. And to be more precise, because I would work.
If he wants a war, he can get a war. Good that I have a good contact to one of his employees.

I want you to know that not all churches treat people that leave the church this way. I am Southern Baptist and if someone left our church, we would continue to remain friends and offer to help the person that leaves in whatever way possible.

One big difference between the LDS church is the way they try to control what information you study and how you worship.

I am taught to read the Bible for understanding and I am free to question the things that I don't understand, or may not see the same way as my pastor/teacher. The disagreement is settled by both of us going over the point of difference together and using the Bible to answer the discrepancy.

The most important thing is that Christ wants a relationship with each of us as individuals. We worship together, but each person is responsible for his/her relationship with Christ. That relationship is based on understanding that we have sinned, asking Him for forgiveness, turning from our sins and asking him to become Lord of our lives.

I pray that you will not turn away from Christ, only from those that have turned their backs on you. Christ loves you and wants you to have an eternal relationship with Him. Maybe some day you will shed Christ's light on those that have turned from you.

[The Ex-Mormon]

I am lesbian. Would I be accepted in SBC as a full member? And, would nobody try, to "cure" me there?
Your church is just as homophobe as it was my former church.

[Alueshen]

I am lesbian. Would I be accepted in SBC as a full member? ....

*crickets*....*crickets*....*crickets*......

[Alueshen]

Today, I would like to write about something what has concerned my thoughts for some time. The pressure of a church on their members. It is not only about my personal experiences with the LDS but about it that this which happens more or less in all churches seems to be a phenomenon.
Cause for this topic is the behavior of the members of my former church (LDS).
I am officially no more a member of the church now. I had written a letter to "good friends" in the church in whom I described my reasons for my leaving. At and I offered everyone, to contact me privately.
I hoped that the one or other "friend" of mine would come to thinking. I was probably too naive there!
I received letters, e-mails and calls. But not because the members had questions; but because they accused me.
A sister was so "kind" to inform me; that the bishop gave every member the "advice" in an address that they shouldn't contact me. Unless they would bring me on the "right path" again.
The members accused me of having lack faith or be on the path of apostacy, because I did not want to follow the words of the prophet any more. Yes, even adultery was imputed to me! I was threatened by an counselor of the bishop; That I would loose all the blessings of God and the church if I would further leave the church.. My answer was "God can kiss my ass!"
I was furious! I am still furious!
But it also shows me one thing:
The members cannot think independently. They are like robots which without opposition respond to orders.
The pressure in the RCC or with the southern baptists might not be so bad but for the one of this for persons affected, it is bad enough. So families are destroyed.
By the way "family": My future former husband has the divorce for court and applies for the only custody; and to be more precise with the reason; that I would be unsuitable as a mother. And to be more precise, because I would work.
If he wants a war, he can get a war. Good that I have a good contact to one of his employees.

I want you to know that not all churches treat people that leave the church this way. I am Southern Baptist and if someone left our church, we would continue to remain friends and offer to help the person that leaves in whatever way possible.

One big difference between the LDS church is the way they try to control what information you study and how you worship.

I am taught to read the Bible for understanding and I am free to question the things that I don't understand, or may not see the same way as my pastor/teacher. The disagreement is settled by both of us going over the point of difference together and using the Bible to answer the discrepancy.

The most important thing is that Christ wants a relationship with each of us as individuals. We worship together, but each person is responsible for his/her relationship with Christ. That relationship is based on understanding that we have sinned, asking Him for forgiveness, turning from our sins and asking him to become Lord of our lives.

I pray that you will not turn away from Christ, only from those that have turned their backs on you. Christ loves you and wants you to have an eternal relationship with Him. Maybe some day you will shed Christ's light on those that have turned from you.

Here is what bothers me......

LDS has obviously built a very successful business mangling Christian ideas...

Adam and eve lived in what..like Minnesota or something?

Indian's are the descendants of the 10 tribes of Israel?

Magic underwear?

Joseph Smith, a known felon and con man found gold plates that no one else could see or read and translated them into the book of Mormon and then conveniently lost them?

What is worse, not believing in god, or using god to manipulate people and make money?

If the term "using the lords name in vein" has any meaning or significance, it is when people of recognized authority within a church claim that god wants you to do something that benefits them, like spending your time or money to enrich people or an organization.

If I was a "good Christian" I'd be outraged that my god was being misused and I'd spend a whole lot more time fighting off Benny Hinn's and Ken Hams and the LDS' of the world before I turned to the non-believers.

My theory is is that no matter how outlandish the claims, they are all based on the same (lack of) evidence.... How can someone that can't offer evidence that their interpretation of a faith is correct, correct someone else with another interpretation of the same faith?....

[Nickman]

ExM, you may find yourself looking to disprove god now that you have found out the truth about JS and the LDS church. It is normal to think that if you have been duped and that your faith was scam that god is also not real. Search out god just as you did with the LDS church to see if he is real too. You may be surprised what you find.

[Alueshen]

While it's probably obvious that I don't currently believe in a god, understand that I'm not a militant non-believer. I went though a period in my life where I had many Christian influences. I believed that god existed and that I was a sinner. Being the cerebral person I am, I had a lot of questions because it was important to me, not only that I believe in god, but if I was going to do it, I was going to do it right.

In the end what I learned, all it takes to believe in god is that you separate what you believe to be true from what you want to be true. This is called cognitive dissonance. The more of it you are capable of, the more you will feel the love of god, and for some people it works.

I can tell you from my own experience that once I became comfortable (after an enormous amount of research) with the idea that reality is without (so far) any parent figures in the sky and that there still exists a reason to be a good person.

My suggestion to you is to understand the nature of belief and why we as humans feel we need to pay for success and good fortune. Why we feel we deserve punishment. How we influence one another into believing things.

Understand, my suggestion isn't to believe or not believe, simply to understand human nature as it relates to belief. If that leads you religion, more power to you, but you may be surprised what you find.

[The Ex-Mormon]

ExM, you may find yourself looking to disprove god now that you have found out the truth about JS and the LDS church. It is normal to think that if you have been duped and that your faith was scam that god is also not real. Search out god just as you did with the LDS church to see if he is real too. You may be surprised what you find.

For this topic it primarily is not for me about the LDS. Because this problem can be found more or less in other churches. Perhaps a reason why many leave the LDS? I found the result of a survey on the Internet:

The majority (53%) of disbelievers now consider themselves Agnostic/Atheist/Humanist. 22% still consider themselves Mormon: 16% exclusively Mormon, and 6% consider themselves Mormon in addition to being Atheist/Agnostic. 11% consider themselves Christian of some other denomination, 2% considered themselves Buddhist, while the remainder consider themselves Unsure/Undecided (17%).

Source: http://www.whymormonsquestion.org/wp-co ... r20121.pdf

I also found these statements at the same source:

Comment from Respondent 135 (Male): Welcome me as an equal in the community and culture, even if I can no longer testify that the church is the only true church on the face of the earth. Create and embrace forums for nontraditional
Mormons like me, to allow for free and open discussion of ideas, and exploration of truth and happiness.

Comment from Respondent 394 (Female): Please create a place in the church for women like me. I love the gospel and desperately want it to be true, but I have a hard time believing in a church that rejects critical thinkers and feminists as "too willful" or "dangerously intellectual."... Thanks for all the good you do. I don't hate the church, and I truly believe that its leaders have the best of intentions... I'm just having a hard time seeing how I fit into it, and don't see how God could possibly create a church that doesn't have a place for all of his children.

And I also found this there:

4. Open Comments and Demographic-Related Issues

Survey respondents were asked in an open response to describe the reason for losing belief. Quantitative mapping of their written descriptions revealed several commonly repeated themes (some of which overlapped with the quantitative questions) across all demographic segments, including:

• Studying history. Example: “As I've gotten older I've been exposed to more of the history of the church, and what I found were that there were questions that there are just no answers to.�

• Homosexuality. Example: “I completely disagree with the Church's stance on homosexuality. It is NOT a choice, it is an inborn trait, and as such I do NOT believe it qualifies as a sin.�

• Feeling judged. Example: “Fearful, prideful and judgmental treatment towards other members and nonmembers who didn't conform, socially, financially or politically.�

• “One true church� emphasis. Example: “I decided that the Mormon paradigm of god operating through one true church did not conform to my personal beliefs about god and religion. The god I believe in does not operate through just one approved church that reaches only a miniscule percentage of humanity.�

• Unrealistic expectations. Example: “I was so tired of feeling guilty for all the things I wasn't doing ‘right.’ The pressure of having to be ‘perfect’ was too much.�

• Church Finances. Examples: “The fact that the church is funding a billion-dollar mall in SLC, while millions of Saints don't have clean water to drink, was/is sickening to me.� “Why a multi-billion dollar mall? Is it not the epitome of the ‘great an spacious building’? Why aren't the financial records of the church public?�
Representative comments about “Transparency of Undisclosed Historical Issues�:
However, by far the most commonly repeated theme was an expression of concern and frustration that many historical issues within Mormonism were not part of an open, transparent dialogue.

Many of them leave the church, some stay in her. Why do they stay in the church? It cannot be the belief that this church is true! What did you think, Nick is the reasons to stay in the church?