Is it OK to laugh at some of the things people do that they can't prevent? Is it OK to get annoyed, and voice it, by people who have issues with things they can't control?
For example: A coworker has turrets syndrome. In the quiet of the daily work place, periodically you hear an extremely loud "BOX" or "ARG" or various other words.
Is it OK to giggle to yourself when you hear it? You are laughing at the person, but the abnormal behavior you're not accustomed to.
Is it OK to get annoyed when you hear these word interjected every 20-30 minutes throughout the day, especially when it interrupts your concentration.
You coworkers think you're insensitive, or an "a*s" or the like.
But is it really wrong? You don't hold it against this person or treat them any differently.
Are we supposed to accept everyone's idiosyncrasies without any internal ?
Other people's issue and you
Moderator: Moderators
- bluethread
- Savant
- Posts: 9129
- Joined: Wed Dec 14, 2011 1:10 pm
Re: Other people's issue and you
Post #2[Replying to post 1 by connermt]
No, such responses are natural. Humor is closely related to tragedy. All that is required is empathy. The person with the condition should also have empathy for others. The most successful people do not hold others accountable for not catering to their own idiosyncracies, but recognize the idiosyncracies for what they are and make accommodations for them. Successful people also recognize the difference between what can be changed and what can not be changed, and act accordingly.
No, such responses are natural. Humor is closely related to tragedy. All that is required is empathy. The person with the condition should also have empathy for others. The most successful people do not hold others accountable for not catering to their own idiosyncracies, but recognize the idiosyncracies for what they are and make accommodations for them. Successful people also recognize the difference between what can be changed and what can not be changed, and act accordingly.
Re: Other people's issue and you
Post #3So long as you're not laughing at the person's issue that they can't control, but what they actually do, I see no problem with it.bluethread wrote: [Replying to post 1 by connermt]
No, such responses are natural. Humor is closely related to tragedy. All that is required is empathy. The person with the condition should also have empathy for others. The most successful people do not hold others accountable for not catering to their own idiosyncracies, but recognize the idiosyncracies for what they are and make accommodations for them. Successful people also recognize the difference between what can be changed and what can not be changed, and act accordingly.
If you're sitting at work quietly and someone barks out "BOX" in the silence, you jump, that's funny (both the interruption and your jumping).
If you're sitting at work quietly and someone barks out "ARG" every 10-15 minutes, you get annoyed at the interruption.
Both actions are very human and should be acceptable.
This doesn't mean you don't have empathy automatically. Likewise, you can not be empathetic to the person and neither find it annoying or funny.
I wonder why so many people are so uptight all the time....
- bluethread
- Savant
- Posts: 9129
- Joined: Wed Dec 14, 2011 1:10 pm
Re: Other people's issue and you
Post #4[Replying to post 3 by connermt]
I think people are often uptight, because of uncertainty. This also is natural. If someone shouts "bomb" at the airport, as one man did recently, it is not clear whether he has turrets or a bomb. Even if he has turrets, the hearer will automatically react due to involuntary reflex. This results in an overdose of adrenaline which takes time to wear off. This happens to me quite often. Someone around me creates the perception of a dangerous situation and I am on edge for an hour or so.
I think people are often uptight, because of uncertainty. This also is natural. If someone shouts "bomb" at the airport, as one man did recently, it is not clear whether he has turrets or a bomb. Even if he has turrets, the hearer will automatically react due to involuntary reflex. This results in an overdose of adrenaline which takes time to wear off. This happens to me quite often. Someone around me creates the perception of a dangerous situation and I am on edge for an hour or so.
Re: Other people's issue and you
Post #5When I say "uptight" I'm referring to people who can't laugh at things - those who wear their hearts on their sleeves, as it were.bluethread wrote: [Replying to post 3 by connermt]
I think people are often uptight, because of uncertainty. This also is natural. If someone shouts "bomb" at the airport, as one man did recently, it is not clear whether he has turrets or a bomb. Even if he has turrets, the hearer will automatically react due to involuntary reflex. This results in an overdose of adrenaline which takes time to wear off. This happens to me quite often. Someone around me creates the perception of a dangerous situation and I am on edge for an hour or so.
What you describe, to me, isn't "uptight" by more...suspicious and alert(?) I guess...
- bluethread
- Savant
- Posts: 9129
- Joined: Wed Dec 14, 2011 1:10 pm
Re: Other people's issue and you
Post #6[Replying to post 5 by connermt]
Well, people who refuse to laugh or come up with some sort of accommodation are irresponsible. They are not taking responsibility for themselves. For example, the situation above is why I do not work as a first responder, nor do I complain that the job description is unfair, or that I should receive compensation equal to theirs, because "after all, it's not my fault I am the way I am". If I want to do that job or receive the benefits that job provides, I will need to expend the time, energy and resources to change myself. Otherwise, I have no one to blame but myself.
Well, people who refuse to laugh or come up with some sort of accommodation are irresponsible. They are not taking responsibility for themselves. For example, the situation above is why I do not work as a first responder, nor do I complain that the job description is unfair, or that I should receive compensation equal to theirs, because "after all, it's not my fault I am the way I am". If I want to do that job or receive the benefits that job provides, I will need to expend the time, energy and resources to change myself. Otherwise, I have no one to blame but myself.
Re: Other people's issue and you
Post #7What do you mean here?bluethread wrote: [Replying to post 5 by connermt]
Well, people who refuse to laugh ...are irresponsible.
- bluethread
- Savant
- Posts: 9129
- Joined: Wed Dec 14, 2011 1:10 pm
Re: Other people's issue and you
Post #8If people avoid their personal short comings by insisting that society cater to them, they are being irresponsible. We are all "handicapped" in one way or another. If I am a person who can not laugh at or take some other positive action with regard to another persons quirky behavior, I am being irresponsible in my behavior. Now, if it is not just quirky behavior, but is malicious that is another story. However, even then, it is my responsibility to take the appropriate action.connermt wrote:What do you mean here?bluethread wrote: [Replying to post 5 by connermt]
Well, people who refuse to laugh ...are irresponsible.
Re: Other people's issue and you
Post #9Ah got it. Thanks for the clarification. I can't say I disagree in total!bluethread wrote:If people avoid their personal short comings by insisting that society cater to them, they are being irresponsible. We are all "handicapped" in one way or another. If I am a person who can not laugh at or take some other positive action with regard to another persons quirky behavior, I am being irresponsible in my behavior. Now, if it is not just quirky behavior, but is malicious that is another story. However, even then, it is my responsibility to take the appropriate action.connermt wrote:What do you mean here?bluethread wrote: [Replying to post 5 by connermt]
Well, people who refuse to laugh ...are irresponsible.