Raising Children Religious or Non-Religious

[jgh7]

Is it best to raise children not to believe in religions? Is it best to teach them that religions are false made up stories and that it's illogical to believe in them?

Or is it best to raise children religious, to teach them to seek to have faith in a religion?

Or is it somewhere in the middle: say you're not sure but encourage them to freely pursue it as they see fit?

What is the best way to raise children with respect to religion? Is the best way invariably based on your own religious beliefs or lack thereof?

Also, if you raise your child one way, but they turn out to be the other later on, would you be dissapointed/angry in your child?

[Neatras]

Wait for them to ask questions. They're bound to come across ideas as they go to school, meet friends, etc. When they ask questions, explore the options and take the opportunity to help them learn even more.

[KenRU]

Is it best to raise children not to believe in religions?

IMO, no it is not. It is best to give them as much evidence as you can, and let them decide for themselves.

Is it best to teach them that religions are false made up stories and that it's illogical to believe in them?

Same answer as above.

Or is it best to raise children religious, to teach them to seek to have faith in a religion?

Same answer as above.

Or is it somewhere in the middle: say you're not sure but encourage them to freely pursue it as they see fit?

That is what my wife and I do. Provide as much info as you can, what is known and what is based upon faith and culture. Then as they get older, let them decide.

My wife is Jewish, I was brought up Catholic but am now an atheist. We don't pretend to "know" what we can't, and we tell our son that : )

What is the best way to raise children with respect to religion?

I always approach raising my son with honesty, and he knows it. I teach him the importance of believing things for a reason, and not to believe something because it is convenient or makes you feel good. IE: life after death, or that 9 bowls of ice cream is good for you : )

Is the best way invariably based on your own religious beliefs or lack thereof?

Same as above.

Also, if you raise your child one way, but they turn out to be the other later on, would you be dissapointed/angry in your child?

I would be disappointed only if he was being hypocritical or intellectually dishonest about it. For example: if my son became Catholic or Jewish, but said to me that he knows there is no evidence to believe in god, but he feels it in his heart, I would not be able to argue that his feelings are insincere. If it makes him happy, then I would be happy.

But if he turned around and said: I know that there is a ton of science that says the earth if billions of years old, but the science is wrong because the bible tell us the earth is 7000 years old, then yeah, I would be very disappointed.

[Peds nurse]

[Replying to post 1 by jgh7]

Hello jgh7!!!

I think its important (at least for me), to teach our children the way they should go. It doesn't mean they won't stray, or deviate, but they will hopefully come back to it. I pray they have seen God working in and through my life, helping me to love people very passionately. My older children have a solid relationship with God. My adopted children are sitting on a fence. I am not worried though, because I believe they will find truth.

There are so many things out there that capture our children's attention, so many things to sift through. It's scary to not help them.

[Youkilledkenny]

[Replying to post 1 by jgh7]

I think it best to raise children to respect religions and not be afraid to learn about them. They will eventually become their own independent person and as such, will make their own determinations as to what's right for them in regards to religion.

[lafiera88]

Raising children to be religious isn't important, raising them to be godly is. Some religions teach the bible based on they're own emotions and thoughts, changing the word of God to fit their lives instead of changing their lives to fit the word of God. If a child is raised to begodly, what is he or she being taught? To be kind, loving considerate etc.

When it comes to teaching a child the Bible, I would teach him the Bible based on the Bible Only; scriptures interpret scriptures and you don't add on or take away from the word of God pretty much says how to study the Bible and this is how I would do it.

Everything concerning the Bible should start at home, I don't have kids but if I did he or she would learn about God from me, by what I teach about the word, the way I carry myself and the way I talk to people. If my child strays from this, yes I would be disappointed but not angry. I would also try to him or her get back on track.

[Genevieve]

Is it best to raise children not to believe in religions? Is it best to teach them that religions are false made up stories and that it's illogical to believe in them?

Or is it best to raise children religious, to teach them to seek to have faith in a religion?

Or is it somewhere in the middle: say you're not sure but encourage them to freely pursue it as they see fit?

What is the best way to raise children with respect to religion? Is the best way invariably based on your own religious beliefs or lack thereof?

Yes to your last question, because that's what is going to happen anyway. Children are smart and observant, and will learn from your example - whether you want them to or not! If you believe that religions are made up stories and illogical, that will be evident to them in the way you live and the things you say. They will see that some of their friends attend religious services but your family does not, and maybe even that you ridicule those who do, and they will learn that religion is not important to you.
If you are religious they will see and be part of that as well. They will attend services with you (at least until they are old enough to stay home by themselves). They will see that you pray and read scriptures, or keep kosher, or whatever it is that you do to practice your religion, and they will learn that religion is important to you. They will also see if you don't practice what you preach, or if you do.

It's not like raising children happens in a vacuum, they are part of your life.

Hopefully they will ask questions about why you do what you do. Hopefully as a parent you would develop the kind of relationship with your kids that they feel like they can ask questions about all kinds of things, not just religion. You should do your best to answer as honestly as you can (because kids know when you're being fake), as completely as you can appropriate to their age level.
But know that they will take what you say and match that up against how you live.
If you really think that religion is made-up nonsense and that is what you show by how you live, you can tell them all you want that they should pursue religion if they see fit, but they will still know that you think it's all made-up nonsense. That will ultimately influence whatever they decide.
Same thing with religion. You can say all you want to that they are free to make up their own minds about it, but if your life shows condemnation towards people who believe differently than you, that will ultimately influence their decision as well.

Also, if you raise your child one way, but they turn out to be the other later on, would you be dissapointed/angry in your child?

I don't know why I would have any reason to be angry. I would be disappointed if I though he was making a purely reactionary decision. Or if he was doing something just to impress someone else (including me), or in any other way being false about it. Or if he was in any other way just following something without really knowing why.
But I don't think he would do any of those. There is nothing at all false about him, and he is not one to follow something for no good reason. And although I know I have messed up sometimes along the way, I hope that overall my example in life would show him, as well as tell him why I believe and do what I do.

[2Dbunk]

[Replying to post 1 by jgh7]

It is important to avoid indoctrinating a child. Try to avoid giving any preference to any one religion, but point out the limitations that every religion imposes on its followers: "don't eat pork," "don't go to movies," "wear only church sanctified underwear," etc., etc. Limitations can stifle the full potential of a child later in life if they have been so indoctrinated.

Do substitute religious dogma with ethical study and example. Ethical behavior can be taught independent of religious do-good teachings -- it is a secular approach to guide young people toward a lawful, uncompetitive and productive path.

Competitiveness between faiths are cause of some of the world's problems, if not most. A healthy respect for history, the natural sciences, and biographies of prominent contributors in all areas and eras should be encouraged for a well-rounded development of the child's personal philosophy and psyche.

Then try to accept the results of what you have sowed, for better or worse.

[JehovahsWitness]

Also, if you raise your child one way, but they turn out to be the other later on, would you be dissapointed/angry in your child?

I would definitely raise my children from infancy in my own religion. If they chose later to leave the faith I would be very dissapointed but would have to respect that.


JW

[2Dbunk]

[Replying to post 9 by JehovahsWitness]

And if you were from Saudi Arabia, would you do likewise? Would you be disappointed if your child was not a Jihadist?