Toilet paper

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bluethread
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Toilet paper

Post #1

Post by bluethread »

This will no doubt be the most contested topic of the year. Which way should the toilet paper roll, over the top or from underneath? More importantly, where do those who do it wrong spend eternity?

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Strider324
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Re: Toilet paper

Post #2

Post by Strider324 »

[Replying to post 1 by bluethread]

It obviously depends on whether you are on the northern or southern hemisphere. Duh.

In mi casa, it rolls from the top, the way the Saints Ralph and Norton intended.....
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Post #3

Post by OnceConvinced »

I put it in anyway I want and if anyone doesn't like it, then tough bikkies. I have no patience for such pedantry.

Someone did make a good point that may be valid though and that's if you put it against the wall, it's more likely to collected bacteria from water particles coming from the toilet, landing on the wall.

Society and its morals evolve and will continue to evolve. The bible however remains the same and just requires more and more apologetics and claims of "metaphors" and "symbolism" to justify it.

Prayer is like rubbing an old bottle and hoping that a genie will pop out and grant you three wishes.

There is much about this world that is mind boggling and impressive, but I see no need whatsoever to put it down to magical super powered beings.


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Re: Toilet paper

Post #4

Post by SailingCyclops »

[Replying to post 1 by bluethread]

I live with 3 cats! ALWAYS put paper roll from the back. Chaos otherwise :-)

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SailingCyclops
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Re: Toilet paper

Post #5

Post by SailingCyclops »

bluethread wrote: More importantly, where do those who do it wrong spend eternity?
In the cat house I hope!

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Post #6

Post by JoeyKnothead »

How should toilet paper roll?

Smooth and effortlessly, in a long, flowing ribbon, as it sails majestically across the trees.
Discovery is finding things that exist.
Invention is using things discovered.

Create that path and engineer a metamorphosis.

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Re: Toilet paper

Post #7

Post by Peds nurse »

[Replying to post 1 by bluethread]

In my house, I don't really care which way it goes...but mostly it NEVER gets on the toilet paper holder anyway! They seriously have to teach that in school, right along with how to roll your eyes when annoyed at parents :-)

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Re: Toilet paper

Post #8

Post by Divine Insight »

[Replying to post 7 by Peds nurse]

That's my situation too. I do keep a roll on the rod, but that's just for emergency.

The "in-use" roll sits vertically on the windowsill beside the toilet. :D

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Re: Toilet paper

Post #9

Post by shnarkle »

bluethread wrote: This will no doubt be the most contested topic of the year. Which way should the toilet paper roll, over the top or from underneath? More importantly, where do those who do it wrong spend eternity?

So, in a nutshell, the roll should be placed so as to roll over thus allowing the writer to compose his masterpiece on the "table" of the roll itself. This also allows for better light to see one's composition rather than squinting to see under the shade of the roll.

The origin and history of the toilet paper roll is well known by many historians. However this is secular history. There is a spiritual history that hasn't been explored by the uninitiated. The Ancients knew that we must all explore the "Zen" of stupidity! Channel chronic procrastination into life-saving paranoia and precise anality. The most important thing to remember is to MAKE WASTE!

So where does this come from? We know only as through "a glass darkly" what the Ancients knew firsthand, i.e. that inspiration comes deep from within. They also knew that assuming the pose of "The Thinker" is quite conducive to "producing".

What most don't know, and usually characterize with disdain in derogatory terms of condescension as "graffiti" or the scribbling of buffoons never taking the time to notice, primarily due to their inability to concentrate on anything other than the tweets on their phone not getting confused with the gurgling of their alimentary canal; is that what inspires the bowels also inspires the Muse. When there is no need of inspiration, the Muse is silent, but when there is the struggle that shakes all men to their proverbial bowels, the Muse awakes with a thunderous roar and God help those who have to read what the soul that has nothing to write with but what monkeys or the criminally insane use to communicate.

What the Initiates know is that the desperate struggle for this inspiration is more than just liberal with what the sphincter desires most; no, this struggle results in not just perspiration and elevated heart rates. it produces sonnets, prose, pen and ink sketches, philosophical conundrums. From this we may easily deduce, among other things; that the inspiration of a Shakespeare, a John Donne, a Wordsworth, a Shelley is the Muse of chronic constipation.

So you see, the proper use of the toilet paper roll was ordained by the gods themselves for the benefit of the spiritual as well as the physical. One's eternal reward is based on what they produce.

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Post #10

Post by postroad »

God has determined that those rich enough to afford toilet paper are the condemned effluent society whom at the renewal will be last in the kingdom and condemned to eternal hemaroids and corn husks.

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