Don't Despair

[Dimmesdale]

Don't Despair. That is my advice for people. But I know it is easy to say that, much harder to prove. So I will try to prove it.

Suicide may look like a rational choice for people who are trapped in a world that doesn't make sense to them and that seems beyond repair or amelioration. But let's stop for a second and ask: is suicide, in the first place, a rational solution? A solution, in other words, that is properly speaking a REAL solution, and not a mere distraction or postponement of the problem.

Suicide on the surface seems like a quick and easy "fix." But, let us ask, is there even such a thing as a quick and easy solution? I would like to say that in all of our experiences with "quick and easy" solutions, they all come with a catch and are not properly speaking solutions at all. Here are some examples:

You are depressed, so you indulge in junk food. The consequence is that you become obese, and that causes more depression and other dysfunctions.

You hate your parents, so you lash out. This may help you blow off steam, but it isn't very constructive and in the end only exacerbates your relationship problems. Your parents may just send you off to a boarding school, etc.

You are depressed, so you drink alcohol. This may cause you to be an alcoholic or drug addict. Again, this leads to more and more problems.

You are bored, so you spend hours watching cheap entertainment. You may be entertained momentarily, but ultimately you waste much precious time you could have used in a more productive manner.

You are angry at your child, so you scold him. The child may end up obedient, but he may hate you underneath it all. Instead of taking the time to properly love and discipline your kid, you have scarred him.

The list goes on and on. All these things are simple, quick "fixes" which do nothing to comprehensively address the problems and underlying issues, but merely deflect and postpone the problem through distraction.

My question is: what makes you so sure suicide is not in the same exact category: a quick fix which is no real fix at all, but a postponement, procrastination, distraction? Perhaps you will not go to an eternal hell for committing suicide, but you may get lost in a kind of limbo that is even more unbearable than your current predicament? What if you commit suicide and realize that life indeed does go on, that YOU go on forever, but that it will take even more work to regain the opportunity you had in this life, to make progress, and to better yourself, something that would have seemed much more doable had you had that self-knowledge then, as opposed to now?

So my advice is again, don't despair. Why? Because life goes on. If it didn't go on, then suicide would indeed be a real fix. But life goes on because life is hard, and indestructible. So you may as well make the most of it here and now!

Peace.

[Purple Knight]

I agree that we should be making sure solutions we generate to our problems aren't simply quick fixes or bandaids.

To me, the hallmark of a "quick fix" is that it's cheap. Something quick may actually solve the problem efficiently, but when you're only looking for solutions that cost little to nothing, you're being lazy. All of the items on the list suffer from the same flaw: The person making the mistake is refusing to invest more than minimal time and/or resources in a solution. He wants the problem to go away as cheaply as possible.

Suicide isn't easy, however. I would argue that it's the opposite of a quick fix and that it's quite grave and serious, a solution that should be used only as a last resort because of how costly it is. In fact, it costs everything.

[Dimmesdale]

I agree that we should be making sure solutions we generate to our problems aren't simply quick fixes or bandaids.

To me, the hallmark of a "quick fix" is that it's cheap. Something quick may actually solve the problem efficiently, but when you're only looking for solutions that cost little to nothing, you're being lazy. All of the items on the list suffer from the same flaw: The person making the mistake is refusing to invest more than minimal time and/or resources in a solution. He wants the problem to go away as cheaply as possible.

Suicide isn't easy, however. I would argue that it's the opposite of a quick fix and that it's quite grave and serious, a solution that should be used only as a last resort because of how costly it is. In fact, it costs everything.

Yes, quick fixes can in some cases solve the problem. Replacing a slippery doorknob, say. Or taking out the trash. But when it comes to existential life crises, more care is needed, across the board I would say.

I must admit that I am not too well acquainted with the psychology of suicidals, although I have a few times felt genuinely suicidal in my life. It may be grave, take great forethought, and so on. One might not even that much want to commit suicide. But still the end goal he or she envisions is one of unlimited peace inundating the consciousness after the deed is done - some kind of release that is presumably eternal. That I think is an illusion. There will be no peace by means of such a reckless choice.

Of course, some suicidals may very well expect that they will go to hell upon death. That is something I have never understood rationally, assuming that hell is a state infinitely worse than any on earth. Still, the whole attitude of "giving up" is there - and that just highlights my thought on the carelessness of the act and that by virtue of that alone, it can't have good effect.

I would also separate suicide from martyrdom, but for now I'll leave it at that.