Trying to teach people to love or at least be respectful

What would you do if?

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nirvanakat
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Trying to teach people to love or at least be respectful

Post #1

Post by nirvanakat »

Sorry, if this is in the wrong section....

First of all, I used to have an extreme amount of hate in my heart. Then I met a person who taught me how to love, respect, care and forgive. I have a friend who is in a worse spot than I ever was in, my friend talks about hating humanity, and often laughs at people who suffer and talks about how glad he is when people suffer. He is very unforgiving and is completely consumed with hate. No matter what I say, wither it be spiritual or not, he just ignores it. How would you suggest helping him? Or what would you say to someone that has no justifiable reason to hate? He is in counciling but he is still so hateful and so forth...

I am starting to want to just leave it alone and just let him go into his pool of hate, anger and despair, but I know that is wrong to do... It pains me to the bottom of my heart that he is like that, and no matter how much it/he frustrates me, I know it is wrong to leave him. If I can learn to feel love towards another person, I feel in my heart that he is capable of it... so I grieve over this even more...

I have a real ethical dilemma, of letting it go, or doing everything I can to get him to listen...

Any advice...??!?

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Goat
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Re: Trying to teach people to love or at least be respectful

Post #2

Post by Goat »

nirvanakat wrote:Sorry, if this is in the wrong section....

First of all, I used to have an extreme amount of hate in my heart. Then I met a person who taught me how to love, respect, care and forgive. I have a friend who is in a worse spot than I ever was in, my friend talks about hating humanity, and often laughs at people who suffer and talks about how glad he is when people suffer. He is very unforgiving and is completely consumed with hate. No matter what I say, wither it be spiritual or not, he just ignores it. How would you suggest helping him? Or what would you say to someone that has no justifiable reason to hate? He is in counciling but he is still so hateful and so forth...

I am starting to want to just leave it alone and just let him go into his pool of hate, anger and despair, but I know that is wrong to do... It pains me to the bottom of my heart that he is like that, and no matter how much it/he frustrates me, I know it is wrong to leave him. If I can learn to feel love towards another person, I feel in my heart that he is capable of it... so I grieve over this even more...

I have a real ethical dilemma, of letting it go, or doing everything I can to get him to listen...

Any advice...??!?
It is hard to see people like that. You can only be an example, and you can listen. However, he is the one that has to change, and that will only happen when he is willing to change.

Often, just being there to listen might make a difference to someone. But, some people are just not willing to change.
“What do you think science is? There is nothing magical about science. It is simply a systematic way for carefully and thoroughly observing nature and using consistent logic to evaluate results. So which part of that exactly do you disagree with? Do you disagree with being thorough? Using careful observation? Being systematic? Or using consistent logic?�

Steven Novella

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Re: Trying to teach people to love or at least be respectful

Post #3

Post by connermt »

Goat wrote:
nirvanakat wrote:Sorry, if this is in the wrong section....

First of all, I used to have an extreme amount of hate in my heart. Then I met a person who taught me how to love, respect, care and forgive. I have a friend who is in a worse spot than I ever was in, my friend talks about hating humanity, and often laughs at people who suffer and talks about how glad he is when people suffer. He is very unforgiving and is completely consumed with hate. No matter what I say, wither it be spiritual or not, he just ignores it. How would you suggest helping him? Or what would you say to someone that has no justifiable reason to hate? He is in counciling but he is still so hateful and so forth...

I am starting to want to just leave it alone and just let him go into his pool of hate, anger and despair, but I know that is wrong to do... It pains me to the bottom of my heart that he is like that, and no matter how much it/he frustrates me, I know it is wrong to leave him. If I can learn to feel love towards another person, I feel in my heart that he is capable of it... so I grieve over this even more...

I have a real ethical dilemma, of letting it go, or doing everything I can to get him to listen...

Any advice...??!?
It is hard to see people like that. You can only be an example, and you can listen. However, he is the one that has to change, and that will only happen when he is willing to change.

Often, just being there to listen might make a difference to someone. But, some people are just not willing to change.
To expound on this excellent post, remember: many times when you push too hard, you end up pushing the other person away.
The best thing to do, IMO, is be there for them. But also be mindful of your own sense of self. I've found it's a lot easier to fall back into old ways when there's an "old way" in your life, so to speak.

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