polygamy

What would you do if?

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Wootah
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polygamy

Post #1

Post by Wootah »

Hi all,

So I got married and here is our wedding vow

With this ring I wed you
With my body I serve you
All that I am and all that I have I give to you
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Does that vow allow for polygamy and if you believe in polygamy do you think you can meet the standard of love that vow demands or do you think that standard is ridiculous and the vow is at best romantic fluff or is there a harder counter that people have?

What room really is there for polygamy within love?

Wootah
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Post #11

Post by Wootah »

stupidstupid wrote:
stupidstupid wrote:I am indeed talking about an open relationship but since i've not been in a polygamous marriage I was trying to explain that I feel the same towards polygamy as I do towards having multiple partners; from what i've seen of polygamous marriages they seem to work out reasonably well. I therefore feel that there is room for polygamy and love to coexist cohesively.

When i've had more than one partner at a time I didn't care about one person more than the other and didn't feel as if they cared about me more or less than the other person that they were with either. I've always cared about/loved each different person i've been friends with or had a relationship with in an entirely unique way to all others anyway so feel that if someone decides they are agreeable to polygamy then there is plenty of room to love everyone.

I'm usually monogamous but have no problem with considering a polygamous marriage if the person/people are ones which I love.


Do you believe that there is room for polygamy and love?
Would you enter into a polygamous marriage?
edited to ask - did you enter into a polygamous marriage?
My marriage is the one flesh kind.

Bust Nak
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Re: polygamy

Post #12

Post by Bust Nak »

Wootah wrote:Does that vow allow for polygamy and if you believe in polygamy do you think you can meet the standard of love that vow demands or do you think that standard is ridiculous and the vow is at best romantic fluff or is there a harder counter that people have?
Well clearly that vow leaves no room for polygamy, you cannot give away the same thing twice to different people.

THe standard set by that vow is too high to take litually though. Marriage is a partnership, not ownership.
What room really is there for polygamy within love?
Well, if one can love their two children equally, then why not spouses? It's up to the spouses to decide if they mind sharing.

Wootah
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Re: polygamy

Post #13

Post by Wootah »

Bust Nak wrote:
Wootah wrote:Does that vow allow for polygamy and if you believe in polygamy do you think you can meet the standard of love that vow demands or do you think that standard is ridiculous and the vow is at best romantic fluff or is there a harder counter that people have?
Well clearly that vow leaves no room for polygamy, you cannot give away the same thing twice to different people.

THe standard set by that vow is too high to take litually though. Marriage is a partnership, not ownership.
What room really is there for polygamy within love?
Well, if one can love their two children equally, then why not spouses? It's up to the spouses to decide if they mind sharing.
Children appear to me to be a one way commit from parent to child.

Paradigm
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Re: polygamy

Post #14

Post by Paradigm »

Wootah wrote:Hi all,

So I got married and here is our wedding vow

With this ring I wed you
With my body I serve you
All that I am and all that I have I give to you
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Does that vow allow for polygamy and if you believe in polygamy do you think you can meet the standard of love that vow demands or do you think that standard is ridiculous and the vow is at best romantic fluff or is there a harder counter that people have?

What room really is there for polygamy within love?
Sure it does. To whichever man or woman you both choose to invite into your marriage you make this vow:

With this ring we wed you
With our bodies we serve you
All that we are and all that we have we give to you
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Problem solved.

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Re: polygamy

Post #15

Post by Bust Nak »

Wootah wrote:Children appear to me to be a one way commit from parent to child.
But one parent can commit to two different children, so what is stopping one person from committing to two different spouses.

Yahu
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Re: polygamy

Post #16

Post by Yahu »

Wootah wrote:Hi all,

So I got married and here is our wedding vow

With this ring I wed you
With my body I serve you
All that I am and all that I have I give to you
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Does that vow allow for polygamy and if you believe in polygamy do you think you can meet the standard of love that vow demands or do you think that standard is ridiculous and the vow is at best romantic fluff or is there a harder counter that people have?

What room really is there for polygamy within love?
Actually scripture states that the body of the husband belongs to the wife and vice versa. It was my wife that brought in another woman and asked me to take her as a 2nd wife. It was her body to share with another. This is exactly what happened with Abraham and Jacob. The wife brought in the other women.

I objected because it was against our vows. She said we had to modify our vows to keep myself only for my wives!

When I said all of my love was for her, she counter with you can love any children we have so you should be able to grow your love for Michelle (the other woman) to match your love for me. I agreed to give it a try. Unfortunately, we didn't get her father's consent so we had to let it go.

Looking back with hind sight, we should have gone ahead with it. Michelle had been dating my roommate and double dating with us and fell in love with me as a result. When her father refused his blessing she married my roommate instead then I lost my 1st wife within the year to men that were stalking her. Michelle's marriage didn't last long but I couldn't take her back after she married another.

Yahu
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Re: polygamy

Post #17

Post by Yahu »

Paradigm wrote:
Wootah wrote:Hi all,

So I got married and here is our wedding vow

With this ring I wed you
With my body I serve you
All that I am and all that I have I give to you
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Does that vow allow for polygamy and if you believe in polygamy do you think you can meet the standard of love that vow demands or do you think that standard is ridiculous and the vow is at best romantic fluff or is there a harder counter that people have?

What room really is there for polygamy within love?
Sure it does. To whichever man or woman you both choose to invite into your marriage you make this vow:

With this ring we wed you
With our bodies we serve you
All that we are and all that we have we give to you
In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Problem solved.
Actually in my case, the 2nd woman also made vows to the primary wife to submit to her has head wife to establish a clear chain of command to prevent conflict.

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Quath
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Post #18

Post by Quath »

I am into polyamory (love of many) and I do talk with Christians on that forum about how they deal with their religion and this issue. It is easy to find support for polygyny, one man and several wives, since that is in the Old Testament and God blesses many such marriages.

However, modern polyamory takes many shapes from triads (three people) to quartets (usually made of two couples who are very close) to dating other that are not your spouse. Since polygamy is illegal, this is about as close as you can get without breaking the law.

As an atheist, I can justify polyamory on humanistic grounds or using utilitarian principles. But for a Christian, it is a little harder, but doable.

One way I have seen it done is for the Christian to focus more on the love of the New Testament and downplay the hate of the Old Testament. Some focus on how good it feels to love more than one person and wonders why God would be against more love.

Some play upon this idea by saying that God responds to the culture he is in. He was brutal and bloodthirsty to the Hebrews because that was their culture. Jesus didn't try to end slavery or help women vote because that was not part of the society he was in. (This is kind of a theological moral relativism.)

But in the polyamory circles, I tend to see roughly equal numbers of pagans, Christians and atheists. I think the Christian numbers are high more because there are more Christians in general. I think pagan beliefs tend to go more with a freer love viewpoint. And I think atheists are probably heavily influenced by sci fi books which tend to treat polyamory as a valid possibility. (Robert Heinlein especially)

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Post #19

Post by Wootah »

Quath wrote:I am into polyamory (love of many) and I do talk with Christians on that forum about how they deal with their religion and this issue. It is easy to find support for polygyny, one man and several wives, since that is in the Old Testament and God blesses many such marriages.

However, modern polyamory takes many shapes from triads (three people) to quartets (usually made of two couples who are very close) to dating other that are not your spouse. Since polygamy is illegal, this is about as close as you can get without breaking the law.

As an atheist, I can justify polyamory on humanistic grounds or using utilitarian principles. But for a Christian, it is a little harder, but doable.

One way I have seen it done is for the Christian to focus more on the love of the New Testament and downplay the hate of the Old Testament. Some focus on how good it feels to love more than one person and wonders why God would be against more love.

Some play upon this idea by saying that God responds to the culture he is in. He was brutal and bloodthirsty to the Hebrews because that was their culture. Jesus didn't try to end slavery or help women vote because that was not part of the society he was in. (This is kind of a theological moral relativism.)

But in the polyamory circles, I tend to see roughly equal numbers of pagans, Christians and atheists. I think the Christian numbers are high more because there are more Christians in general. I think pagan beliefs tend to go more with a freer love viewpoint. And I think atheists are probably heavily influenced by sci fi books which tend to treat polyamory as a valid possibility. (Robert Heinlein especially)
Can it involve animals or objects and if not why draw a line there?

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beforetherewas
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Re: polygamy

Post #20

Post by beforetherewas »

Wootah wrote: Does that vow allow for polygamy and if you believe in polygamy do you think you can meet the standard of love that vow demands or do you think that standard is ridiculous and the vow is at best romantic fluff or is there a harder counter that people have?

What room really is there for polygamy within love?
Vows do not supercede God's definition of marriage. The standard of love any vow could possibly speak is inferior to the standard set forth, by example, in scripture. Therefore, vows are mostly ceremonial fluff since they have no power to replace the definition and commands of God concerning marriage.

The Lord at no time relinquished over to mankind or to governments His sole authority over marriage.

Our corrupt government can legalize homosexual unions time and time again, and it will never make any difference in the eyes of God because He does not make any allowances for such in His definition of marriage.

Additionally, the Lord's definition of marriage does not block a man from having plural wives. If that were not the case, then we could expect to see most of the Patriarchs burning in the pits of Hell.

BTW

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