friends disloyalty

What would you do if?

Moderator: Moderators

User avatar
achilles12604
Site Supporter
Posts: 3697
Joined: Mon Jun 19, 2006 3:37 am
Location: Colorado

friends disloyalty

Post #1

Post by achilles12604 »

You are friends with someone. You two have been close friends for many many years. You spend a great deal of time with each other.

Then one day you see your friend kissing someone who is not their spouse. You ask them about it and say something like,
"I trust you. So I am going to be honest with you but I don't want you to say anything until I figure out what I want to do. XXXX and I have been dating for a couple weeks now and I really like him/her. I know I shouldn't but I'm not sure about how much I like my spouse. Please don't tell anyone. I'm just trying this out. If he/she doesn't work out I will go back to my spouse."
What do you do? You know both this person and their spouse. You havn't seen any problems before this. They have 1 young girl.

What do you do?
It is a first class human tragedy that people of the earth who claim to believe in the message of Jesus, whom they describe as the Prince of Peace, show little of that belief in actual practice.

Sjoerd
Scholar
Posts: 435
Joined: Mon Aug 04, 2008 4:06 pm
Location: Utrecht, the Netherlands

Post #11

Post by Sjoerd »

joeyknuccione wrote:Hook up with his old lady while he's off with the other girl.
I stand corrected. Of the two of us, Joey is the Macchiavellist ;)
The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.
No bird soars too high, if he soars with his own wings.
The nakedness of woman is the work of God.
Listen to the fool''''s reproach! it is a kingly title!
As the caterpiller chooses the fairest leaves to lay her eggs on, so the priest lays his curse on the fairest joys.

William Blake - The Marriage of Heaven and Hell

connermt
Banned
Banned
Posts: 5199
Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2012 5:58 pm
Been thanked: 2 times

Re: friends disloyalty

Post #12

Post by connermt »

achilles12604 wrote:You are friends with someone. You two have been close friends for many many years. You spend a great deal of time with each other.

Then one day you see your friend kissing someone who is not their spouse. You ask them about it and say something like,
"I trust you. So I am going to be honest with you but I don't want you to say anything until I figure out what I want to do. XXXX and I have been dating for a couple weeks now and I really like him/her. I know I shouldn't but I'm not sure about how much I like my spouse. Please don't tell anyone. I'm just trying this out. If he/she doesn't work out I will go back to my spouse."
What do you do? You know both this person and their spouse. You havn't seen any problems before this. They have 1 young girl.

What do you do?
IMO, it would depend on how deeply you are involved with their lives. If you're just their friend, it might not be worth getting involved. If you're involved deeply with either one of them, it might be prudent to get involved. If you do so, I would tell the "friend" what your plan is and give them a timeline in an effort to push the decision to tell (or not) on them. If they confess, you're off the hook. If they don't, then you might want to question their friendship with you (assuming they know you're doing it for the benefit and not to be a jerk).
But the ultimate question to ask yourself (if you haven't already) is: what business of mine is it anyway?
If you can't come up with an honest answer, you might want to avoid the situation altogether.

User avatar
His Name Is John
Site Supporter
Posts: 672
Joined: Fri Mar 16, 2012 7:01 am
Location: London, England

Post #13

Post by His Name Is John »

I would tell my friend that they had to tell their spouse.

I don't think I personally could do it, although I might say 'I can't withhold this from them, I will give you a week to tell them yourself, and if you haven't by then I will' or something like that.

Horrible scenario though.
“People generally quarrel because they cannot argue.�
- G.K. Chesterton

“A detective story generally describes six living men discussing how it is that a man is dead. A modern philosophic story generally describes six dead men discussing how any man can possibly be alive.�
- G.K. Chesterton

Post Reply