Totally biased definitions of religions/philosophies

[Sjoerd]

Dear all,

I am very glad to have found a forum were people are generally unbiased and open-minded towards religion. Unfortunately, this is generally not so in the real world. Therefore I would like to open a thread of caricature definitions. Take a religion or philosophy that you adhere to or at least sympathize with, and give a definition as would be given by a totally biased and paranoid bigot unbeliever of your faith/philosophy. Deliberately parodize and satirize as much as you can, so that we can laugh prejudices and bigotry in the face.

I will start with a philosophy that I closely identify with:

Romanticism
Now that opium has been banned, these would-be heroes resort to Hobbits and Dungeons&Dragons to flee from the real world. Their claim to Weltschmerz is either a pitiful attempt to justify their miserable lives, or to deal with the fact that they pretend to love beautiful damsels and Elven Queens while they are in fact secretly gay. Don't let these tree-hugging vegetarians lull you into an illusion of harmlessness. They are more likely than not to shout "Heil Hitler" when they think no one else is watching. They would bring back the Middle Ages if it would be possible to have internet, too.

cheers,

Sjoerd

[Goat]

Dear all,

I am very glad to have found a forum were people are generally unbiased and open-minded towards religion. Unfortunately, this is generally not so in the real world. Therefore I would like to open a thread of caricature definitions. Take a religion or philosophy that you adhere to or at least sympathize with, and give a definition as would be given by a totally biased and paranoid bigot unbeliever of your faith/philosophy. Deliberately parodize and satirize as much as you can, so that we can laugh prejudices and bigotry in the face.

I will start with a philosophy that I closely identify with:

Romanticism
Now that opium has been banned, these would-be heroes resort to Hobbits and Dungeons&Dragons to flee from the real world. Their claim to Weltschmerz is either a pitiful attempt to justify their miserable lives, or to deal with the fact that they pretend to love beautiful damsels and Elven Queens while they are in fact secretly gay. Don't let these tree-hugging vegetarians lull you into an illusion of harmlessness. They are more likely than not to shout "Heil Hitler" when they think no one else is watching. They would bring back the Middle Ages if it would be possible to have internet, too.

cheers,

Sjoerd

I think they would rather bring magic into the world than bring back the Middle Ages. And, I assure you, the average D&D player is not a vegetarian.

[Sjoerd]

I think they would rather bring magic into the world than bring back the Middle Ages. And, I assure you, the average D&D player is not a vegetarian.

Hehe, it's about biases, after all... Still, I am a vegetarian, although I don't play so much D&D.