Recovering Christians

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Cathar1950
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Recovering Christians

Post #1

Post by Cathar1950 »

Recovering Christians.
I don’t know where I am going with this but I thought I would run it by my fellow former Christians and see what you think and what if any might be a good topic along these lines.

Former Christians or recovering Christians, do you really ever get over it?

It is like a recovering addict or alcoholic, it is a lifetime battle. It has affected you and shaped your mind. Even after you break the habit it still haunts you with patterns of thought and behaviors that can act as triggers any time. If you are an alcoholic, can you control it or do you have to avoid it? The medical establishment as loosely defines an alcoholic; “you are an alcoholic if you have problems and you drink”. I think it has something to do with insurance. It seems that might be true of a Christian “if you have problems and are a Christian you’re an addict”(concept and wording needs work). You would think that with the claims Christians often make about God, the world and redemption they should not have problems otherwise what would make their existence any different that non-Christians with no claims? If Christ defeated the powers then what is going on? Is this just imaginary?

I remember as I was working on a therapy license that many of the addicts had issues and problems that were not being addressed by “just say no” or quitting.
Like many believers they keep their problems even after they quit their substance addiction.
Only they seem to be in denial about it or so disassociated that they can’t see them.

river
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Post #21

Post by river »

Cathar1950 wrote:There is still something to be said for myth and ritual.
Where would our culture be without Zeus, most likely there would have been more Odin.

Our stories enrich our cultures and life much like art.
That is true when we recognize them as myths. When we literalize them as actual historical accounts and build our lives, sometimes even giving our lives or taking the lives of others. there is nothing to be said for that except "WAKE UP, PEOPLE"

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Cathar1950
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Post #22

Post by Cathar1950 »

river wrote:
Cathar1950 wrote:There is still something to be said for myth and ritual.
Where would our culture be without Zeus, most likely there would have been more Odin.

Our stories enrich our cultures and life much like art.
That is true when we recognize them as myths. When we literalize them as actual historical accounts and build our lives, sometimes even giving our lives or taking the lives of others. there is nothing to be said for that except "WAKE UP, PEOPLE"
I tend to see a problem with the taking myth literally and historically as it tends to spill over into other areas such as science or even ultimate infallible truth and actual.
Eventually those that insist on some literal interpretation will disappear but always allowing for new versions of literalism for some new issue. What and how you read is always selective and limited.

I tend to think they make a problem for themselves by making claims about the world and ourselves which seem incapable of reflecting the accidental world.

As a side note and related topic I wanted to say that I think becoming an adult and maturing is kind of like being a recovering child.
As a parent with my children all being adults I can see where they picked up unintentional messages as well as sometime didn't even see any intention.
I am not sure when I first noticed the adults in my life were dysfunctional, maybe 8 or 9. The older I got the worse they looked...lol

drblunder
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Someone like me

Post #23

Post by drblunder »

I have wrestled with my faith for years but then the older and more critical minded i became the more intense the struggle to continue to believe in Christianity became for me.
I found this site out of a desperate attempt to find some one like me, who has experienced the feeling being so torn.
For me, losing faith has left me with out a purpose and with out a direction.
I hope by maybe engaging in some conversations with other people who have gone through something similar, will help me find hope in something again.

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Cathar1950
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Re: Someone like me

Post #24

Post by Cathar1950 »

drblunder wrote:I have wrestled with my faith for years but then the older and more critical minded i became the more intense the struggle to continue to believe in Christianity became for me.
I found this site out of a desperate attempt to find some one like me, who has experienced the feeling being so torn.
For me, losing faith has left me with out a purpose and with out a direction.
I hope by maybe engaging in some conversations with other people who have gone through something similar, will help me find hope in something again.
I don't have so much as a loss of faith but more of a richer and more satisfying ways of seeing life. Faith is like reason, where Whitehead tells us the purpose of reason is to promote the art of living.
I tended to like the idea of faith as faithfulness and not so much the idea of a proper belief.
It dawned on me that trust in God meant trusting that there was enough purpose in just living.
I tend to like the more social conception of God where we as well as the universe enrich the life of God.

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Post #25

Post by drblunder »

I want to be in a place in my mind where I can see the good that has come out of this but have been unable or maybe unwilling to allow it to happen.
Its sounds so nice to see it as gaining a greater perspective rather than losing faith.
I really am desperate for some sort of peace, but the peace I think I may be longing for is the "peace" that comes with believing that you can "know" something is knowable...to be certain that something is certain because that was what Christianity taught me. I believe that perhaps I maybe have some belief in Christianity even despite my own arguments towards it, since I feel as though I am worse off without it than I was with it.
I try to see goodness in this transition, but I think that is the problem... is there nothing Im transitioning to leaving me feeling as though I just exist rather than being alive. I have stopped eating and have lost 35lbs in the last few months and have very little will to continue existing. I have seen therapist and have taken meds, read books and have debated pastors till they were swearing, yet I have still been in and out of handcuffs as I try to find my way. Something has to change for me.
I was studying to become a pasture wanted to start my own church and save the world because I honestly held Chrisianity to be so true and I believe I would have laid down my life for it. I think because to me my faith was my passion and reality and not a comfort or a tradition, it has seemingly left me stranded and not at all liberated as I wish I could feel! Its simply tormenting and desperate at this point to not know how to not know and be ok with it...rather to be freed by it.
I think some people in the faith see me as a wolf now since I left the faith and only have questions for their "answers" and I feel like if I did make a deal with the devil it was a really bad deal for me to make, because since I could not allow myself to believe anymore I have only existed and not lived. I hope to feel alive again and not afraid in the deepest part of my heart that I have made a terrible choice not continue to believe anymore.

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Post #26

Post by DiscipleOfTruth »

For me it feels like a lose lose situation. I didn't turn away from christianity as of recently but I feel like it was just yesterday. I don't remember when exactly but if I had to guess I'd say about 5-10 years ago.

Anyway, when I became a christian I actually believed at first. Thinking that whatever my doubts or wonders are about the Bible will probably be answered by time I finished the bible, and excited about the idea of Heaven, naturally. Didn't happen, it just raised more questions than answers for me. Tough ones, it got to a point when I believed that I believed. And that was starting to drive me crazy because that isn't real faith. Then I prayed for the ability to stop a sinful pleasure and to have the desire taken away. Failed time and time again which really got to the point that I realized this is not for me, I need to step back and look at this from the outside.

Though I am not a believer I'm not completely satisfied yet. I'm now an Agnostic, I admit to myself that I don't know if christianity is what it claims to be or not. I seek answers by continuing to study the Bible and as many religions as possible. But in the back of my mind I get this nagging wonder almost 24/7 if christianity is real. If there is a place called Hell and if I'm in danger of going there by turning away. Eternity is a very long time LOL! But I can't turn back if I'm to remain honest with myself. Not till I find the answers first. I am comfortable at where I'm at in life now.

I would imagine if the christian God did exist or any God for that matter that he/she/them would be understanding of my inability to force myself to believe what doesn't convince me. I pray to 'whoever might be out there' with hope that that being would actually respond to me if they do exist. I am simply doing my best and hoping for the best so on these grounds I don't see how a fair God would send me to Hell for it. If said God would convince me in the way I was 'created' to be convinced then I don't see where the problem comes into play.

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Re: Recovering Christians

Post #27

Post by crazylifteraj »

[Replying to post 1 by Cathar1950]

For some there is no "recovery".
The extreme baptist christainity i was raised with left life long scars. For years i wrestled with my natural "carnal desires" while praying to god to make me impotent so that i might please the church. The christian group i belonged to segregated the boys and girls. There was little to no chance to talk to a girl without my or other parents asking lots of questions. Through all that i was taught to ignore girls until i was of the "proper courting age". Over the years i became very good at ignoring girls until one day i realized i did not know how to talk to them.
I do not blame only chritainity for my mental death. I also was not public schooled, i lived 1 1/2hrs from the nearest town so rarely got to socialize, and to make matters worse my family was quite poor. We all know that these are classic conditions for mental problems. Combine all that with extreme baptist christainity and you have a recipe for disaster. At least i was never physically abused.
Then at age 23 we got a new pastor who took my depression to new valleys. I was attending college at the time and becoming more intelligent. This pastor taught things so outlandish that i began to question my beliefs and found in consistences in the bible that all the experts at the church could not give definitive answers to. The biggest by far was the fact that by their teachings 85% of people are going to hell. All of a sudden i realized that it was THEM not the rest of humanity who was wrong and that there was no god.
The problem was however that i was left without a sense of purpose and with the before mentioned problems, i died. i will never recover. The emptiness i feel is far greater then the emptiness that christians claim nonbelievers feel. When you believe in something so long and so strongly, it crushes you to find it is not true. It really makes you feel betrayed. my only purpose currently in life is to leave the world a little safer (for those who are innocent) after i am gone.
i do not mean to depress any one with my darkness, but i just feel that the dangers of christainity should be shared.

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Re: Recovering Christians

Post #28

Post by ElCodeMonkey »

[Replying to crazylifteraj]

That's certainly terrible. There are many aspects that leave scars and I, too, wish to warn the world of a sort. That's why I've written a book which will soon be published. Perhaps you should write a book as well. Or heck, maybe I should gather all these stories and write a followup book. Interesting thought... But yes, it is quite terrible and I am also living with the repurcussions and scars. Lauren Drain wrote about being in the Westboro Baptist Church. Crazy freaking place.
I'm Published! Christians Are Revolting: An Infidel's Progress
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Re: Recovering Christians

Post #29

Post by crazylifteraj »

[Replying to post 28 by ElCodeMonkey]

whats the name of the book you wrote? I will look it up sometime.

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Re: Recovering Christians

Post #30

Post by ElCodeMonkey »

crazylifteraj wrote: [Replying to post 28 by ElCodeMonkey]

whats the name of the book you wrote? I will look it up sometime.
Unless I have a spur of the moment change, I'm calling it Christians Are Revolting: An Infidel's Progress. It's to be green with a pictue of the bride [of Christ] tying Jesus to a chair and gagging him. I think it's worth the read ;-). I actually have it in audiobook format right now minus some minor edits. It's me reading it in my basement with the occassional noise, but it gets the job done. Could send you a pm with link if you're interested.
I'm Published! Christians Are Revolting: An Infidel's Progress
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