Is all premarital sex actually prohibited in the Bible?

Debating issues regarding sexuality

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micatala
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Is all premarital sex actually prohibited in the Bible?

Post #1

Post by micatala »

It has been assumed in many posts that premarital sex is a sin, or against certain Biblical teachings, or both. One recent example is in the Hate the Sin and Love the Sinner thread.

Obviously, one of the 10 commandments is Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery. However, common understanding would be that adultery is:
Webster's 9th New Collegiate Dictionary wrote:
voluntary sexual intercourse between a married man and someone other than his wife or a married woman and someone other than her husband
Fornication is usually defined as sex between unmarried people.

Here are a few relevant verses:
LEviticus 19 wrote: 20 " 'If a man sleeps with a woman who is a slave girl promised to another man but who has not been ransomed or given her freedom, there must be due punishment. Yet they are not to be put to death, because she had not been freed. 21 The man, however, must bring a ram to the entrance to the Tent of Meeting for a guilt offering to the LORD. 22 With the ram of the guilt offering the priest is to make atonement for him before the LORD for the sin he has committed, and his sin will be forgiven.


29 " 'Do not degrade your daughter by making her a prostitute, or the land will turn to prostitution and be filled with wickedness.

The latter implies that being a prostitute is certainly less than ideal, but it does not seem to be prohibited. Certainly there are many examples of prostitution in the Bible, and neither the men nor the women are necessarily punished for engaging in sex in this context.
Leviticus 20 wrote: 20 " 'If a man sleeps with his aunt, he has dishonored his uncle. They will be held responsible; they will die childless.
One assumes the uncle is already dead. Notice the punishment is something we assume only God can accomplish.

Priests are to be held to a higher than ordinary standard.
Leviticus 21 wrote: 7 " 'They must not marry women defiled by prostitution or divorced from their husbands, because priests are holy to their God. 8 Regard them as holy, because they offer up the food of your God. Consider them holy, because I the LORD am holy—I who make you holy.

9 " 'If a priest's daughter defiles herself by becoming a prostitute, she disgraces her father; she must be burned in the fire.

13 " 'The woman he marries must be a virgin. 14 He must not marry a widow, a divorced woman, or a woman defiled by prostitution, but only a virgin from his own people, 15 so he will not defile his offspring among his people. I am the LORD, who makes him holy. [d] ' "


The latter implies it is OK for others to marry women who are not virgins. The fact that there is prostitution and it is at least condoned means sex outside of marriage must have been occuring and at least condoned.



QUestions for debate are:

Does the Bible unambiguously teach that premarital sex is wrong? Where is the Biblical justification?

Many Christians would say 'all sins are equal.' However, many others would say some sins are more serious than others. Murder might be considered more egregious than adultery, and adultery more egregious than telling a 'fish story.'

WHere does premarital sex rank on a list of sins, say even compared to the 10 commandments?

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Re: Is all premarital sex actually prohibited in the Bible?

Post #2

Post by 4gold »

micatala wrote:QUestions for debate are:

Does the Bible unambiguously teach that premarital sex is wrong? Where is the Biblical justification?

Many Christians would say 'all sins are equal.' However, many others would say some sins are more serious than others. Murder might be considered more egregious than adultery, and adultery more egregious than telling a 'fish story.'

WHere does premarital sex rank on a list of sins, say even compared to the 10 commandments?
No, the Bible does not specifically call premarital sex a sin.

Is it a sin? I would argue that it may be impossible to have premarital sex. Rev. Ray VanderLaan tells a story that ancient Jewish weddings consisted of a bridegroom that would build an addition onto his parents' house. The bridegroom spent his time preparing the house/room for his bride. The bride knew her day was coming, but never knew what the actual day would be. Each day, she would sit in anticipation. Is today the day?

In that time, there was no formal wedding ceremony, and rabbis did not participate, except possibly as part of the feast. The wedding was final when the bridegroom took his bride into the addition and consummated the wedding. A friend or brother would stand outside the room and listen for the...ahem...consummation calls. Once he heard them, he would announce to the public that the wedding was final and the community would participate in a week's worth of heavy feasting and drinking.

In that definition of marriage, where a man and woman leaves his father and mother and the two become one, the marriage is defined by the sexual relationship.

Using this definition of marriage, it seems pretty easy to see why the Bible does not specifically call fornication a sin -- sex would be the beginning of a marriage.

I understand what you are asking, but you are using today's definition of marriage: a formal wedding ceremony performed by a priest or justice of the peace. This definition did not become part of canonical law until the 10th century CE. So I think a more pertinent question might be: do sins change over time based on the specific cultures?

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Interesting.

Post #3

Post by melikio »

So I think a more pertinent question might be: do sins change over time based on the specific cultures?
Interesting question; and I've never seen it asked before.

Nor have I seen where "sex" is "prohibited" per se, just that certain conditions be met (some of which are debatable... from era-to-era).

-Mel-
"It is better to BE more like Jesus and assume to speak less for God." -MA-

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Post #4

Post by Confused »

Exodus 22:16-17If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleep with her, he must pay the bride-price and she shall be his wife. IF her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must still pay the bride-price for virgins.

This implies weakly that premarital sex was discouraged'

Deuteronomy 22:13If a man takes a wife and after lying with her dislikes her and slanders her and gives her a bad name saying I married this woman, but when I approached her, I did not find proof that she was a virgin..........22:20If however, the charge is found to be true and no proof of the girls virginity can be found, she should be brought to the door of her father's house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death.

This blatantly states premarital sex is punishable by death unless they are pledged to be married. I can see the distinction. But if you just have sex without intention of marriage, it is a sin.
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Post #5

Post by micatala »

Here is the whole passage Confused cites.
Deuteronomy wrote: 13 If a man takes a wife and, after lying with her, dislikes her 14 and slanders her and gives her a bad name, saying, "I married this woman, but when I approached her, I did not find proof of her virginity," 15 then the girl's father and mother shall bring proof that she was a virgin to the town elders at the gate. 16 The girl's father will say to the elders, "I gave my daughter in marriage to this man, but he dislikes her. 17 Now he has slandered her and said, 'I did not find your daughter to be a virgin.' But here is the proof of my daughter's virginity." Then her parents shall display the cloth before the elders of the town, 18 and the elders shall take the man and punish him. 19 They shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver and give them to the girl's father, because this man has given an Israelite virgin a bad name. She shall continue to be his wife; he must not divorce her as long as he lives.
20 If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the girl's virginity can be found, 21 she shall be brought to the door of her father's house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. She has done a disgraceful thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father's house. You must purge the evil from among you.


I read this as the girl's sin being more deception than the actual promiscuity. The man married her with the understanding that she was a virgin. She was promiscuous while in her father's house and as a result, "deprived" the husband of the promised virgin wife. Again, this is reflecting the idea of the time of 'woman as property' and virginity as increasing the value of that property.

The sexual laws of the Israelites did not treat men and women equally. If the woman had not been 'in her father's house' but rather was on her own, perhaps as a prostitute, then I have not yet seen the verse which would show sex would be prohibited, or at least punishable by death as in this instance.


In that time, there was no formal wedding ceremony, and rabbis did not participate, except possibly as part of the feast. The wedding was final when the bridegroom took his bride into the addition and consummated the wedding. A friend or brother would stand outside the room and listen for the...ahem...consummation calls. Once he heard them, he would announce to the public that the wedding was final and the community would participate in a week's worth of heavy feasting and drinking.

In that definition of marriage, where a man and woman leaves his father and mother and the two become one, the marriage is defined by the sexual relationship.

Using this definition of marriage, it seems pretty easy to see why the Bible does not specifically call fornication a sin -- sex would be the beginning of a marriage.


Very interesting. I guess I had heard some of this, but without the notion that the sex act was 'synonomous' with the act of marriage.

If this was the understanding, then the implication is that 'premarital sex' would be OK, as long as you don't have sex with anyone else, thereby committing adultery.

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Post #6

Post by Confused »

micatala wrote:Here is the whole passage Confused cites.
Deuteronomy wrote: 13 If a man takes a wife and, after lying with her, dislikes her 14 and slanders her and gives her a bad name, saying, "I married this woman, but when I approached her, I did not find proof of her virginity," 15 then the girl's father and mother shall bring proof that she was a virgin to the town elders at the gate. 16 The girl's father will say to the elders, "I gave my daughter in marriage to this man, but he dislikes her. 17 Now he has slandered her and said, 'I did not find your daughter to be a virgin.' But here is the proof of my daughter's virginity." Then her parents shall display the cloth before the elders of the town, 18 and the elders shall take the man and punish him. 19 They shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver and give them to the girl's father, because this man has given an Israelite virgin a bad name. She shall continue to be his wife; he must not divorce her as long as he lives.
20 If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the girl's virginity can be found, 21 she shall be brought to the door of her father's house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. She has done a disgraceful thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father's house. You must purge the evil from among you.


I read this as the girl's sin being more deception than the actual promiscuity. The man married her with the understanding that she was a virgin. She was promiscuous while in her father's house and as a result, "deprived" the husband of the promised virgin wife. Again, this is reflecting the idea of the time of 'woman as property' and virginity as increasing the value of that property.

The sexual laws of the Israelites did not treat men and women equally. If the woman had not been 'in her father's house' but rather was on her own, perhaps as a prostitute, then I have not yet seen the verse which would show sex would be prohibited, or at least punishable by death as in this instance.


In that time, there was no formal wedding ceremony, and rabbis did not participate, except possibly as part of the feast. The wedding was final when the bridegroom took his bride into the addition and consummated the wedding. A friend or brother would stand outside the room and listen for the...ahem...consummation calls. Once he heard them, he would announce to the public that the wedding was final and the community would participate in a week's worth of heavy feasting and drinking.

In that definition of marriage, where a man and woman leaves his father and mother and the two become one, the marriage is defined by the sexual relationship.

Using this definition of marriage, it seems pretty easy to see why the Bible does not specifically call fornication a sin -- sex would be the beginning of a marriage.


Very interesting. I guess I had heard some of this, but without the notion that the sex act was 'synonomous' with the act of marriage.

If this was the understanding, then the implication is that 'premarital sex' would be OK, as long as you don't have sex with anyone else, thereby committing adultery.


Wasn't attempting to mislead by not wirting the entire passage. Just to lazy to type out the entire thing. I read that as a woman is expected to go to the marriage bed a virgin. If the man suspects she is not, then he may challenge it. If she isn't then she is stoned to death for her deception, yes, but also for having premarital sex.

I had heard of the definition of marriage that you have quoted. But I was led to understand as it relates to premarital sex, that it wasn't prohibited so long as they were already engaged.

I think combining both passages I wrote gives a strong indication of forbidding premarital sex, but I am not even close to an expert on the Bible. And I do my absolute best to stay away from Leviticus. Like I said in the thread that prompted you to do this one, I knew I was going to end up looking like a schmuck. But I can do no other than try. So I will have to go further into the OT, but I will still avoid Leviticus. Nothing is more depressing, not even the movie The Notebook, which actually had me in tears at the end (and I can count on one hand how many times I have cried).
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What we do for others and the world remains
and is immortal.

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Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
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Post #7

Post by mcbr4481 »

Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.

1 Corinthians 7:2 - NKJV

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 - NKJV

Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body." (1 Cor. 6:18, NLT).


All of these talk about it! Premarital sex is definatly bad acording to the bible. If your not so sure just read about when Paul is talking to the corinthians and throughout that chapter it disscusses it!

Maranatha

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Post #8

Post by 4gold »

Confused wrote:Exodus 22:16-17If a man seduces a virgin who is not pledged to be married and sleep with her, he must pay the bride-price and she shall be his wife. IF her father absolutely refuses to give her to him, he must still pay the bride-price for virgins.

This implies weakly that premarital sex was discouraged'

Deuteronomy 22:13If a man takes a wife and after lying with her dislikes her and slanders her and gives her a bad name saying I married this woman, but when I approached her, I did not find proof that she was a virgin..........22:20If however, the charge is found to be true and no proof of the girls virginity can be found, she should be brought to the door of her father's house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death.
Your quote on Exodus seems to corroborate what I was saying above: it would have been nearly impossible to have premarital sex during Bible times, because the consummation was considered the beginning of the marriage -- not some formal ceremony.
mcbr4481 wrote:Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.

1 Corinthians 7:2 - NKJV

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 - NKJV

Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body." (1 Cor. 6:18, NLT).


All of these talk about it! Premarital sex is definatly bad acording to the bible. If your not so sure just read about when Paul is talking to the corinthians and throughout that chapter it disscusses it!

Maranatha
Maybe I'm just blind, but I didn't see premarital sex mentioned in any of those verses. It seems that those verses are talking about sexual immorality, but does not clarify whether it is talking about premarital sex or adultery.

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Post #9

Post by mcbr4481 »

http://www.bible.ca/s-premarital-sex.htm

This site explains it pretty good!

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Post #10

Post by mcbr4481 »

http://www.bible.ca/s-premarital-sex.htm


This site explains it pretty good1

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