Just For Giggles.

[William]

[William]

[William]

[JoeyKnothead]

I got a goodn to tell, ripped from the headlines of the being me...

I've been an animal lover all my life. I can't stand to see me, that any should suffer.

And that's how I acquired me Henry, an ornery ol jack mule with the one eye there, but not the othern over yonder. Henry done got long in the tooth, and the man there on swap shop said he was worthless, and he'd give that jack to the firstn to come fetching.

So me and the pretty thing hopped us in the truck, and we set to fetching. We loaded ol cyclops there up in the bed of the truck, and drove through downtown twice, just to show him off.

So we got him, and settled him into the barn, a blanket on his back, a little sweet feed, and the finest well water ever been pumped from the ground.

Now here's the thing about mules, they're mules. Ya gotta take time with em. Give em a chance to know ya good. Mules don't just take to the firstn with a handful of feed straw. They're like wimmen that way.

Well that next morning I'd got up and fetched on out, so to introduce myself to ol one eye Henry there. But here's the thing, I keep my white liquor in the fridge there at the front of the barn, and Henry's way back yonder in the back.

I'd gotten me about three sheets into the wind, and I went back there, and my barn ain't fancy to have no mule toilet in it. And, well, that.

I ain't the kind to have my critters stand around in what I ain't proud to sit in, so I set in to muck out his stall.

And that's where it all fell apart. I crossed behind him on that side where there ain't no eye, and he kicked. He sent me flinging so hard it wasn't but the wall that stopped my progress.

I let out a yell sufficient to describe how many ribs I done broke, and he got startled and kicked me again.

It went on like that for a spell, up to the world went dark. He done kicked me unconscious, and stupid at the same time.

So it was, I woke up in the hospital a few days later there, seven broken ribs, two of which we're renewedly broken, and a hoof print on my forehead that the bruise still ain't gone away.

Of course pretty thing had to tell everybody she knows, and some she don't.

And that's how come when I get me to felling better, I'm gonna put me an ornery ol one eyed mule back on the market.

[tam]

[Replying to JoeyKnothead in post #1113]

Wow, Joey! Did that just happen? But you're okay now? I mean, other than a hoofprint bruise on your forehead of course.

What a story!

Mule's gotta be a mule, I guess.

Peace to you my friend, and get better!

[JoeyKnothead]

[Replying to JoeyKnothead in post #1113]

Wow, Joey! Did that just happen? But you're okay now? I mean, other than a hoofprint bruise on your forehead of course.

What a story!

Mule's gotta be a mule, I guess.

Peace to you my friend, and get better!

I kinda lied on that last bit. Henry'll live out his days eating all he wants, and roaming ten acres of the greenest hills God ever put on the planet.

But I will be mean mouthing him from time to time

[tam]

[Replying to JoeyKnothead in post #1113]

Wow, Joey! Did that just happen? But you're okay now? I mean, other than a hoofprint bruise on your forehead of course.

What a story!

Mule's gotta be a mule, I guess.

Peace to you my friend, and get better!

I kinda lied on that last bit. Henry'll live out his days eating all he wants, and roaming ten acres of the greenest hills God ever put on the planet.

But I will be mean mouthing him from time to time

Yeah, I kinda figured Henry would still be living out his days with you in mule-y bliss. Pretty sure he can handle some mean mouthing, and probably give it back, lol.

[benchwarmer]

And that's how come when I get me to felling better, I'm gonna put me an ornery ol one eyed mule back on the market.

Ah Joey, are you sure anyone on the swap shop will come by to pick you up?



Sorry, couldn't resist my friend! Hope you are feeling much better soon and Henry takes a liking to you for other than target practice.

[JoeyKnothead]

And that's how come when I get me to felling better, I'm gonna put me an ornery ol one eyed mule back on the market.

Ah Joey, are you sure anyone on the swap shop will come by to pick you up?

Hilarious, and accurate!

Sorry, couldn't resist my friend! Hope you are feeling much better soon and Henry takes a liking to you for other than target practice.

Funny is as funny does. Can't blame ya not a bit

[Purple Knight]

I've been an animal lover all my life. I can't stand to see me, that any should suffer.

So am I, and I learned from working at an animal shelter that you can never let your will that none should suffer, prevent you from helping the ones you actually can help. I've never been kicked half to death by a mule, but I have been bitten and scratched.

I learned a hard lesson that for the sake of the good ones, you have to be cold and merciless to those that aren't good ones, because there are only so many spaces, and because it isn't right that a bad one should take a space from a good.

I've cried over it, actually, cried over the realisation... The realisation that there are more than enough dogs that won't ever bite to fill all the houses that want to care for one, and that means that when one does bite, you chuck him in the incinerator after giving him the needle. Anything else is injustice to the one that will never bite. And maybe I can rehabilitate that one. But I shouldn't. Not fair to the good one.