If you could prevent your existence, would you?

[Compassionist]

If you could prevent your existence, would you? Why? Why not?

Life consists of both suffering and enjoyment. Some suffer more, some enjoy more. I have suffered much more than I have enjoyed. I continue to suffer daily. I think others would be better off if I were never conceived. I think I would be better off if I were never conceived. Am I right to feel like this? Am I wrong to feel like this? I don't know.

[William]

William: I think in order to prevent something from happening, one has to have the foreknowledge of it's potential in order to be able to make the choice.

You might be speaking of suicide? At that rate, your question needs to be reworded.

Some Theologies claim that before we came here to experience this Physical Universe, we were shown the potential negatives and positives and then were given the option, and thus we chose to do so.

This is a helpful way of seeing it, as it allows for us each then to not become victims of if, because we believe we chose it, and we trust our choice because we trust our prior self, which empowers rather than dis-empowers us in relation to our choices here and now, while going through it.

[benchwarmer]

If you could prevent your existence, would you? Why? Why not?

Life consists of both suffering and enjoyment. Some suffer more, some enjoy more. I have suffered much more than I have enjoyed. I continue to suffer daily. I think others would be better off if I were never conceived. I think I would be better off if I were never conceived. Am I right to feel like this? Am I wrong to feel like this? I don't know.

First, if you haven't already, you may want to speak with someone about your feelings. i.e. a professional, not this motley crew of debaters on this site

Everyone feels what they feel. In my opinion, there is no 'right' or 'wrong' on how one feels. However, feeling something does not equate to fact. Only you (with some help hopefully) can explore why you have these feelings and hopefully find a way to enjoy life despite any negative feelings that may come up.

I'm very sad to hear that you are suffering and for what little it's worth I'm glad that you are here to discuss things.

As to your poll question, I cannot answer it. I would have to have known my entire existence before I could decide whether it, as a whole, was worth having. The first 99% of it might be miserable, but that last 1% might be worth everything before it. It's a question that really can only be answered after it's all over not before it starts.

All I can really offer is a seat beside me on my bench that I like to keep warm and a virtual hug. Hopefully you will decide to stick around and join us in our discussions.

[Compassionist]

If you could prevent your existence, would you? Why? Why not?

Life consists of both suffering and enjoyment. Some suffer more, some enjoy more. I have suffered much more than I have enjoyed. I continue to suffer daily. I think others would be better off if I were never conceived. I think I would be better off if I were never conceived. Am I right to feel like this? Am I wrong to feel like this? I don't know.

First, if you haven't already, you may want to speak with someone about your feelings. i.e. a professional, not this motley crew of debaters on this site

Everyone feels what they feel. In my opinion, there is no 'right' or 'wrong' on how one feels. However, feeling something does not equate to fact. Only you (with some help hopefully) can explore why you have these feelings and hopefully find a way to enjoy life despite any negative feelings that may come up.

I'm very sad to hear that you are suffering and for what little it's worth I'm glad that you are here to discuss things.

As to your poll question, I cannot answer it. I would have to have known my entire existence before I could decide whether it, as a whole, was worth having. The first 99% of it might be miserable, but that last 1% might be worth everything before it. It's a question that really can only be answered after it's all over not before it starts.

All I can really offer is a seat beside me on my bench that I like to keep warm and a virtual hug. Hopefully you will decide to stick around and join us in our discussions.

Thank you for your virtual hug and helpful reply. I am suffering from low mood, insomnia, nightmares, flashbacks, chronic pain every day and every night. I have been suffering from Bipolar Affective Disorder for 22 years.

MOOD SCALE
+5: Total loss of judgement, exorbitant spending, religious delusions or hallucinations.
+4: Lost touch with reality, incoherent, no sleep, paranoid and vindictive, reckless behaviour.
+3: Inflated self-esteem, rapid thoughts and speech, counter-productive simultaneous tasks.
+2: Very productive, everything to excess, charming and talkative.
+1: Self-esteem good, optimistic, sociable and articulate, good decisions and get work done.
0: Mood in balance, no symptoms of depression or mania.
-1: Slight withdrawal from social situations, concentration less than usual, slight agitation.
-2: Feeling of panic and anxiety, concentration difficult and memory poor, some comfort in routine.
-3: Slow thinking, no appetite, need to be alone, sleep excessive or difficult, everything a struggle.
-4: Feeling of hopelessness and guilt, thoughts of suicide, little movement, impossible to do anything.
-5: Endless suicidal thoughts, no way out, no movement, everything is bleak and it will always be like this.

My psychiatrist is thinking of adding Lamotrigine to my current medication (Quetiapine XL 600 mg per night). I have a sensitive physiology and experience lots of side-effects from Quetiapine XL already. I will probably get lots of side-effects from Lamotrigine, too.

I have thought of suicide many many times in the last 22 years. I don't want to cause suffering to my family. Two of my friends with Bipolar committed suicide and that caused a lot of suffering to their families and friends (including me).

[Compassionist]

William: I think in order to prevent something from happening, one has to have the foreknowledge of it's potential in order to be able to make the choice.

You might be speaking of suicide? At that rate, your question needs to be reworded.

Some Theologies claim that before we came here to experience this Physical Universe, we were shown the potential negatives and positives and then were given the option, and thus we chose to do so.

This is a helpful way of seeing it, as it allows for us each then to not become victims of if, because we believe we chose it, and we trust our choice because we trust our prior self, which empowers rather than dis-empowers us in relation to our choices here and now, while going through it.

In 1998, I saw a counsellor who believe in pre-life selection by immortal souls. According to him, all life events experienced by everyone are chosen by them before they are conceived. It really made no sense to me. Why would anyone choose horrific experiences e.g. being kidnapped, raped, beaten up, robbed, etc.? Some people even get tortured to death. Why would anyone choose such things before they are conceived? In any case, how would someone know that this happens? Besides, according to Buddhism and Secularism, immortal souls don't exist. Please see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anatta

Don't worry, I am not going to commit suicide. I have no desire to inflict that suffering on my family. Thank you.

[ttruscott]

In 1998, I saw a counsellor who believe in pre-life selection by immortal souls. According to him, all life events experienced by everyone are chosen by them before they are conceived. It really made no sense to me. Why would anyone choose horrific experiences e.g. being kidnapped, raped, beaten up, robbed, etc.?

I had no idea there were counsellors who believed in our pre-earth existence. But I agree that the Eastern religions do not ring true for the reasons you have mentioned.

I just posted a Christian definition of our pre-existence in shnarkle's topic, Does God's absolute predestination make God unfair?, at "ttruscott"

I don't know how it might alleviate some of your distress but it did indeed help my own.

Don't worry, I am not going to commit suicide. I have no desire to inflict that suffering on my family. Thank you.

I'm glad to hear this and I pray and hope for the best for you...

[William]

[Replying to post 5]

Compassionist: In 1998, I saw a counsellor who believe in pre-life selection by immortal souls. According to him, all life events experienced by everyone are chosen by them before they are conceived. It really made no sense to me. Why would anyone choose horrific experiences e.g. being kidnapped, raped, beaten up, robbed, etc.?

William: I would say that your counselor giving you guidance on personal or psychological problems was seeing this in a similar manner as I have written. This is a helpful way of seeing it, as it allows for us each then to not become victims of if, because we believe we chose it, and we trust our choice because we trust our prior self, which empowers rather than dis-empowers us in relation to our choices here and now, while going through it.

Obviously one has to let go judgement regarding the problem of evil in order to start from such a position of trust in self.
Your extra problem related to that is the Idea of a Creator GOD - because this just magnifies those feelings of powerlessness and abandonment.

Thus you are left with the idea that all said and done, when you die all this will end and therefore the problem will have resolved itself.

In the meantime, you can continue taking the medication which helps you to stand living, but also can help to prevent you from caring to know for sure...and comes at a price regarding side effects.

In regard to our conversation in your other thread to do with making a device which can be used to explore alternatives and allow you to get in touch with deeper aspects of yourself - I found use of said device to be far, far better than medication and counseling. It a whole new ball-park.

But no - I wasn't concerned that you were suicidal as to why you created this thread.

[Compassionist]

In 1998, I saw a counsellor who believe in pre-life selection by immortal souls. According to him, all life events experienced by everyone are chosen by them before they are conceived. It really made no sense to me. Why would anyone choose horrific experiences e.g. being kidnapped, raped, beaten up, robbed, etc.?

I had no idea there were counsellors who believed in our pre-earth existence. But I agree that the Eastern religions do not ring true for the reasons you have mentioned.

I just posted a Christian definition of our pre-existence in shnarkle's topic, Does God's absolute predestination make God unfair?, at "ttruscott"

I don't know how it might alleviate some of your distress but it did indeed help my own.

Don't worry, I am not going to commit suicide. I have no desire to inflict that suffering on my family. Thank you.

I'm glad to hear this and I pray and hope for the best for you...

Thank you for your reply and your kind wishes and prayers. I disagree with your theology but don't let that stop you from believing what you believe. The counsellor I saw had a PhD in psychology. Yet, he believed in chakras and immortal souls.

[Compassionist]

[Replying to post 5]

Compassionist: In 1998, I saw a counsellor who believe in pre-life selection by immortal souls. According to him, all life events experienced by everyone are chosen by them before they are conceived. It really made no sense to me. Why would anyone choose horrific experiences e.g. being kidnapped, raped, beaten up, robbed, etc.?

William: I would say that your counselor giving you guidance on personal or psychological problems was seeing this in a similar manner as I have written. This is a helpful way of seeing it, as it allows for us each then to not become victims of if, because we believe we chose it, and we trust our choice because we trust our prior self, which empowers rather than dis-empowers us in relation to our choices here and now, while going through it.

Obviously one has to let go judgement regarding the problem of evil in order to start from such a position of trust in self.
Your extra problem related to that is the Idea of a Creator GOD - because this just magnifies those feelings of powerlessness and abandonment.

Thus you are left with the idea that all said and done, when you die all this will end and therefore the problem will have resolved itself.

In the meantime, you can continue taking the medication which helps you to stand living, but also can help to prevent you from caring to know for sure...and comes at a price regarding side effects.

In regard to our conversation in your other thread to do with making a device which can be used to explore alternatives and allow you to get in touch with deeper aspects of yourself - I found use of said device to be far, far better than medication and counseling. It a whole new ball-park.

But no - I wasn't concerned that you were suicidal as to why you created this thread.

I dislike having to take Quetiapine XL. I tried gradually lowering the dose from 600 mg to 400 mg but it made my mood even lower and my mood swings even more frequent. I have many mood swings every day as I have the ultradian rapid cycling variant of Bipolar. It didn't begin like this. When the symptoms of insomnia and depression began on 29 September 1997, my mood was cycling from plus 1 to minus 2 on the mood scale. However, the psychiatrist medicated me initially with Carbamazepine which made things worse. Then they tried Lithium which worsened my mood further. They kept adding all kinds of anti-depressants to Lithium - I was on Lithium for 4 years and 9 months until I stopped taking it. I even had Electro Convulsive Treatment 9 times during March and April of 2001 as Lithium and anti-depressants were not lifting my mood. From 13 February 2003 to 30 January 2011, I was off medications for almost eight years but I had a psychotic episode on 30 January 2011 with hallucinations and delusions so I had to take Risperidone which had side-effects. So, I was changed to Quetiapine XL. I wish I never went to see the counsellor and the psychiatrist. My parents told me to not trust the psychiatrists and not take the medications. They said that my insomnia and depression was caused by my moving from Aberdeen to Dundee to go to medical school to become a doctor. They said to quit medical school and return to Aberdeen. But I trusted the psychiatrists and things went from bad to worse for me. Eventually, I got kicked out of medical school on 13 February 2003 and I am still struggling with low mood daily.

[benchwarmer]

If you could prevent your existence, would you? Why? Why not?

Life consists of both suffering and enjoyment. Some suffer more, some enjoy more. I have suffered much more than I have enjoyed. I continue to suffer daily. I think others would be better off if I were never conceived. I think I would be better off if I were never conceived. Am I right to feel like this? Am I wrong to feel like this? I don't know.

First, if you haven't already, you may want to speak with someone about your feelings. i.e. a professional, not this motley crew of debaters on this site

Everyone feels what they feel. In my opinion, there is no 'right' or 'wrong' on how one feels. However, feeling something does not equate to fact. Only you (with some help hopefully) can explore why you have these feelings and hopefully find a way to enjoy life despite any negative feelings that may come up.

I'm very sad to hear that you are suffering and for what little it's worth I'm glad that you are here to discuss things.

As to your poll question, I cannot answer it. I would have to have known my entire existence before I could decide whether it, as a whole, was worth having. The first 99% of it might be miserable, but that last 1% might be worth everything before it. It's a question that really can only be answered after it's all over not before it starts.

All I can really offer is a seat beside me on my bench that I like to keep warm and a virtual hug. Hopefully you will decide to stick around and join us in our discussions.

Thank you for your virtual hug and helpful reply. I am suffering from low mood, insomnia, nightmares, flashbacks, chronic pain every day and every night. I have been suffering from Bipolar Affective Disorder for 22 years.

MOOD SCALE
+5: Total loss of judgement, exorbitant spending, religious delusions or hallucinations.
+4: Lost touch with reality, incoherent, no sleep, paranoid and vindictive, reckless behaviour.
+3: Inflated self-esteem, rapid thoughts and speech, counter-productive simultaneous tasks.
+2: Very productive, everything to excess, charming and talkative.
+1: Self-esteem good, optimistic, sociable and articulate, good decisions and get work done.
0: Mood in balance, no symptoms of depression or mania.
-1: Slight withdrawal from social situations, concentration less than usual, slight agitation.
-2: Feeling of panic and anxiety, concentration difficult and memory poor, some comfort in routine.
-3: Slow thinking, no appetite, need to be alone, sleep excessive or difficult, everything a struggle.
-4: Feeling of hopelessness and guilt, thoughts of suicide, little movement, impossible to do anything.
-5: Endless suicidal thoughts, no way out, no movement, everything is bleak and it will always be like this.

My psychiatrist is thinking of adding Lamotrigine to my current medication (Quetiapine XL 600 mg per night). I have a sensitive physiology and experience lots of side-effects from Quetiapine XL already. I will probably get lots of side-effects from Lamotrigine, too.

I have thought of suicide many many times in the last 22 years. I don't want to cause suffering to my family. Two of my friends with Bipolar committed suicide and that caused a lot of suffering to their families and friends (including me).

Compassionist, thank you for sharing your struggle. Thank you also for sharing that mood scale, I had never seen that before. That's very interesting and seems useful for trying to vocalize what's going on.

I can't even imagine having to choose between a drug that may help and the side effects which clearly are undesirable. Hopefully you can find something to help you manage. Clearly you shouldn't take medical advice from strangers on the internet and I have no idea what you've tried, but perhaps some diet changes and/or exercise regimes might help? I've heard that some diets can help 'level' mood swings. The idea being to reduce things like sugar which can cause your body to have spikes and dips in insulin. Some forms of exercise are also great at helping your body maintain balance. You've probably tried everything under the sun at this point, so I'm probably not telling you anything new.