Politeness vs Candour

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Purple Knight
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Politeness vs Candour

Post #1

Post by Purple Knight »

I've never been one for polite people. It seems (to me) that they're only interested in phrasing their insults cleverly so they don't sound like insults while shaming others (and thus insulting them further) for what I often see as candour.

The key idea is that the polite person doesn't actually refrain from saying what he wants to say; he simply says it so it doesn't sound quite as bad.

This forum has actually made me rethink my position. I'm not sure how a place can exist where people actually respect each other and the mods don't just take one side and basically enforce an ideology. They always can find violations if they want to.

My experience with people, yes all people, is that they're horrible creatures and the only ones who get respect are the ones who never, ever give it. This place is different. Somehow we have courtesy and candour. I would have told you before such a thing was impossible. Does it mean the mods here are actually fair? If so, why can't the mods elsewhere be fair?

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Re: Politeness vs Candour

Post #2

Post by otseng »

Purple Knight wrote: Thu Nov 12, 2020 12:52 pm This place is different. Somehow we have courtesy and candour. I would have told you before such a thing was impossible. Does it mean the mods here are actually fair? If so, why can't the mods elsewhere be fair?
I appreciate that. From the beginning, the primary goal of this forum is just what you mentioned - civility and being able to debate anything related to religion. Most other places do not have these as a goal. They probably have other purposes, such as preaching the gospel or promoting a certain viewpoint or getting a lot of members or being profitable. I have none of these as my goals.

Another thing is we try to have a balanced team of moderators. We try to have representatives on the team that have different beliefs. And for the most part, everyone on the team has a voice. Only in certain cases will I make a unilateral decision, such as an obvious spammer that should be insta-banned.

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Re: Politeness vs Candour

Post #3

Post by Purple Knight »

I'm not even talking about specifically religious debate sites. I joined a forum about cats and it was nothing but a cesspit of people all bullying each other about how they're abusing their animals. The stars of the forum were the biggest bullies, the worst form of abuse, of course, was letting your cat have babies, and the biggest bullies were the so-called "ethical" cat breeders who work with purebred cats and churn out a half dozen litters a year on the small end. But of course, one litter of "random" bred cats is horrible animal abuse, and six litters of purebred cats isn't. Because "ethical."

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Re: Politeness vs Candour

Post #4

Post by otseng »

[Replying to Purple Knight in post #3]

I never knew. Good thing we don't debate about cats here...

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Re: Politeness vs Candour

Post #5

Post by nobspeople »

Purple Knight wrote: Thu Nov 12, 2020 12:52 pm I've never been one for polite people. It seems (to me) that they're only interested in phrasing their insults cleverly so they don't sound like insults while shaming others (and thus insulting them further) for what I often see as candour.

The key idea is that the polite person doesn't actually refrain from saying what he wants to say; he simply says it so it doesn't sound quite as bad.

This forum has actually made me rethink my position. I'm not sure how a place can exist where people actually respect each other and the mods don't just take one side and basically enforce an ideology. They always can find violations if they want to.

My experience with people, yes all people, is that they're horrible creatures and the only ones who get respect are the ones who never, ever give it. This place is different. Somehow we have courtesy and candour. I would have told you before such a thing was impossible. Does it mean the mods here are actually fair? If so, why can't the mods elsewhere be fair?

I've seen apparent Christians complain about things said to them and get vindicated much, MUCH more than anyone else. I suppose that has a lot to do with so many mods being Christians and highly biased to defend their brothers and sisters in Christ.
There is courtesy from some people here, but a lot more....how do I say it without getting a virtual hand smack....sneakiness (?) from Christians here (a couple in particular).
Instead of just saying what we want, within reason, and growing a thicker skin, I see people being forced to hamper their opinions while others are allowed to run rampant with their ideologies, which sometimes wouldn't be allowed on other sites, hiding being their freedom to express their religion.
That's not to say its this way with everyone, Christian or not. But as a new comer, it's a lot more evident to me than it must be to those who can do something about it.
:?
Have a great, potentially godless, day!

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Re: Politeness vs Candour

Post #6

Post by Purple Knight »

nobspeople wrote: Mon Nov 23, 2020 3:09 pmThere is courtesy from some people here, but a lot more....how do I say it without getting a virtual hand smack....sneakiness (?) from Christians here (a couple in particular).
I believe I know what you're talking about but I don't think this is a pattern at all on this forum.

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Re: Politeness vs Candour

Post #7

Post by nobspeople »

Purple Knight wrote: Fri Nov 27, 2020 12:06 am
nobspeople wrote: Mon Nov 23, 2020 3:09 pmThere is courtesy from some people here, but a lot more....how do I say it without getting a virtual hand smack....sneakiness (?) from Christians here (a couple in particular).
I believe I know what you're talking about but I don't think this is a pattern at all on this forum.
Pattern? Maybe not. But it does exist.
Have a great, potentially godless, day!

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