Personal safety

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Rose2020
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Personal safety

Post #1

Post by Rose2020 »

So, there are women who book a man to come to their home and massage them while alone! Then are horrified when assaulted. BBC News is covering several reports of serious sexual assaults in cases like these.

This to me seems the same as leaving your home doors and windows open, then being amazed when things are stolen while you are out or asleep.

Am I missing something here? I had no idea a woman would ever book a man to do this at all, let alone in her own home. At least have a friend with you, if you really cannot live without a massage. Or best of all, go to a beauticians, book only women for women for such an intimate thing.
Call me old fashioned if you like but I am of a generation where common sense was employed.

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Re: Personal safety

Post #11

Post by Purple Knight »

Rose2020 wrote: Tue Jul 12, 2022 12:32 pmCall me old fashioned if you like but I am of a generation where common sense was employed.
It's not old fashioned at all and you're clearly seeing 2 chess moves into the future, which isn't bad. If I (the woman, in this scenario) do this, then I set myself up to lose a piece. So maybe I don't make that move. It's an objectively bad move. If you make that move, there will be a bishop staring your queen in the face and let me tell you what the bishop is thinking, I am 3 points, she is 9 points, Imma go for it.

So yes, people should have some common sense and not make bad moves. We have the board and the rules and if we don't want to lose pieces, we play within them. Those women made moves that were likely to make them lose pieces and they lost pieces.

However, when it comes to how society is designed, forcing people to make compromises with crime and just accept that a crime will happen, so they must not make a legal move because he will make an illegal one, ruins the game. It's a bad game. The rules are bad. We should improve them. Perhaps the punishment for sexual assault is not great enough.

When you have this scenario where in certain situations, sexual assaults simply happen and not enough is done to deter it, placing (logically, mind you) the onus on the potential victim to simply avoid the situation, something should be done to alter the rules at play. Where does it end? If there's a gang of thugs controlling twenty city blocks, yes it's logical that you don't go in there, but it doesn't end at that. We should ask, why is the board arranged so that illegal moves are rewarded and perpetuate? Why are the referees ignoring those spaces?

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Re: Personal safety

Post #12

Post by Rose2020 »

[Replying to Purple Knight in post #11]

You make good points.
Life is not ideal, we do need to take basic steps to protect ourselves. Sometimes a person is in the wrong place at the wrong moment and open to crime. But to actually place yourself in obvious danger is another matter. All of us need to be vigilant and sensible. Assess the dangers.

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Re: Personal safety

Post #13

Post by Purple Knight »

Rose2020 wrote: Wed Jul 13, 2022 5:13 pm [Replying to Purple Knight in post #11]

You make good points.
Life is not ideal, we do need to take basic steps to protect ourselves. Sometimes a person is in the wrong place at the wrong moment and open to crime. But to actually place yourself in obvious danger is another matter. All of us need to be vigilant and sensible. Assess the dangers.
We do need to assess the dangers. But we can also question why those dangers are there in the first place. In a scenario where crime simply happens in certain situations, avoid those situations. And then demand reform. Because there should not be such situations.

If there are a bunch of sharks in the water because someone took away the net, don't go in the water. And then demand why the net was taken away because someone took it away and they need to answer for that. It doesn't end with, well, that's just how it is, don't go in the water then.

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Re: Personal safety

Post #14

Post by Tcg »

help3434 wrote: Wed Jul 13, 2022 8:33 am
Tcg wrote: Tue Jul 12, 2022 5:09 pm Folks do so quite regularly. HVAC technicians. Plumbers. Exterminators. Painters. Appliance installers.


Tcg
I would presume those people usually have employers who know who they are and where they are going, which would be a at least a bit of a deterrent against assaulting customers.
Perhaps. Both my exterminator and plumber are self-employed.


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Re: Personal safety

Post #15

Post by Inquirer »

Rose2020 wrote: Tue Jul 12, 2022 12:32 pm So, there are women who book a man to come to their home and massage them while alone! Then are horrified when assaulted. BBC News is covering several reports of serious sexual assaults in cases like these.

This to me seems the same as leaving your home doors and windows open, then being amazed when things are stolen while you are out or asleep.

Am I missing something here? I had no idea a woman would ever book a man to do this at all, let alone in her own home. At least have a friend with you, if you really cannot live without a massage. Or best of all, go to a beauticians, book only women for women for such an intimate thing.
Call me old fashioned if you like but I am of a generation where common sense was employed.
My wife booked a massage some months ago only to discover that the new "Girl" was in fact a man dressed as a Woman, the world really is going insane.

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Re: Personal safety

Post #16

Post by Rose2020 »

[Replying to Inquirer in post #15]

I hope she cancelled the session. She has a perfect right for her own safety and dignity.

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Re: Personal safety

Post #17

Post by Inquirer »

Tcg wrote: Tue Jul 12, 2022 7:21 pm
Rose2020 wrote: Tue Jul 12, 2022 6:31 pm [Replying to Tcg in post #4]

Not many jobs involve being undressed alone with a stranger. I've never heard of such a fool thing.
So, this explains why you are surprised that, "Then are horrified when assaulted." Do we deserve to be assaulted if we disrobe for a doctor's examination or before surgery? I'd expect anyone to be horrified if they are assaulted no matter where it happens. Unless of course they themselves think that they as the victim are responsible for the crime. Are you suggesting that is the case in these incidents?
I can understand this, it isn't rocket science either. Basically people take risks and if one increases the risk to themselves in return for some benefit they do bear some responsibility for any undesired outcome that was reasonably foreseeable.

If a man had an 18 year old daughter who moved away to a different town recently and she had a full time job that left her body aching (perhaps bar tending) then when she mentioned on the phone "I'll be fine anyway Dad, I've booked a guy to come over and massage me tomorrow, my flat mate is out tomorrow too visiting family so after the massage I'll settle down and watch a movie" are you going to say with a straight face that a Dad responding "Good idea honey, I hope your back feels better afterwards" is all fine and dandy? Is that what you'd say?

Would you choose to live in a high crime neighborhood? lets say the local takeouts were compelling and the rents very reasonable but the crime rate, burglary rate was high, you'd still choose live there? would reality and statistics play any role in your decision?

Getting undressed while at the doctors, that was a joke right? you'd don't really see that as a sensible analogy do you?

Nobody deserves to be assaulted but neither should they be surprised when it happens if they've disregarded foreseeable risks.

I can't decide what's more astonishing, the fact you argued as you did or the fact that someone thanked you for it.

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Re: Personal safety

Post #18

Post by Inquirer »

While we're on this subject:
Never listen to music while walking at night, take photos of taxi license plates before getting in, and DON'T use your last name on social media: Former correctional officer shares vital safety tips for women
From here.

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