Marriage between atheists and Christians

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Rose2020
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Marriage between atheists and Christians

Post #1

Post by Rose2020 »

Is it doomed from the start?

On another thread of thought, is real friendship really possible between two people whose philosophy and outlook on life is so different?

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Re: Marriage between atheists and Christians

Post #2

Post by Tcg »

Rose2020 wrote: Thu Sep 01, 2022 8:08 am Is it doomed from the start?

On another thread of thought, is real friendship really possible between two people whose philosophy and outlook on life is so different?
My partner is a theist with Christian leanings and we're doing just fine. She doesn't try to convert me, and I don't try to convince her there are no gods. Neither of these are rules we've established; we both simply respect each other too much to attempt to do so. And yet, we both talk openly at times about our opinions on matters related to god/gods. I suppose if you had a couple where one or both try to convince the other to change their view it wouldn't work out well.

Oh, and I don't think our outlook on life is very different at all. For instance, we both think that in most cases death is a horrible thing. We disagree on what happens after death, but why should that affect us while we are alive? No one can know for sure what happens, at least not yet and perhaps never.

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Re: Marriage between atheists and Christians

Post #3

Post by Rose2020 »

[Replying to Tcg in post #2]

You are fortunate or you chose well. Between two intelligent people marriage can be worked out. For others it remains an unresolved background tension. That is why the Bible wisely warns against it.

If I may pick up on a point, that about death being a terrible thing. As a Christian I believe death is a wonderful welcome thing, the final much awaited release from this suffering sinful dark world. If of course one expects heaven to follow. What I fear is pain but even that is a matter of prayer and the comfort of Christ.

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Re: Marriage between atheists and Christians

Post #4

Post by Tcg »

Rose2020 wrote: Thu Sep 01, 2022 10:52 am [Replying to Tcg in post #2]

You are fortunate or you chose well. Between two intelligent people marriage can be worked out. For others it remains an unresolved background tension. That is why the Bible wisely warns against it.

If I may pick up on a point, that about death being a terrible thing. As a Christian I believe death is a wonderful welcome thing, the final much awaited release from this suffering sinful dark world. If of course one expects heaven to follow. What I fear is pain but even that is a matter of prayer and the comfort of Christ.
Oh yes, if heaven awaits, death may be viewed as a positive. I'm referring however to the death of others, not my own. As I sometimes say, death is a problem for the living, not the dead. Of course, if there is a hell, that may not hold true.

My partner and I are both at the age where we have both lost numerous family members. In the last two years or so between us we have lost five. I've lost two in the last two months. I don't know about you, but I don't feel old enough to be this old. I am of course, but it's still a bit surprising that life has gone by so quickly. Although it also causes my partner pain to lose loved ones, it may be a bit deeper for me. I have no expectation to ever see them again.


Tcg
To be clear: Atheism is not a disbelief in gods or a denial of gods; it is a lack of belief in gods.

- American Atheists


Not believing isn't the same as believing not.

- wiploc


I must assume that knowing is better than not knowing, venturing than not venturing; and that magic and illusion, however rich, however alluring, ultimately weaken the human spirit.

- Irvin D. Yalom

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Re: Marriage between atheists and Christians

Post #5

Post by Inquirer »

Tcg wrote: Thu Sep 01, 2022 10:22 am
Rose2020 wrote: Thu Sep 01, 2022 8:08 am Is it doomed from the start?

On another thread of thought, is real friendship really possible between two people whose philosophy and outlook on life is so different?
...and I don't try to convince her there are no gods.
Why would someone who simply does not hold a belief in God ever hold the belief that there are no Gods?

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Re: Marriage between atheists and Christians

Post #6

Post by Miles »

Tcg wrote: Thu Sep 01, 2022 10:22 am
Rose2020 wrote: Thu Sep 01, 2022 8:08 am Is it doomed from the start?

On another thread of thought, is real friendship really possible between two people whose philosophy and outlook on life is so different?
My partner is a theist with Christian leanings and we're doing just fine. She doesn't try to convert me, and I don't try to convince her there are no gods. Neither of these are rules we've established; we both simply respect each other too much to attempt to do so. And yet, we both talk openly at times about our opinions on matters related to god/gods. I suppose if you had a couple where one or both try to convince the other to change their view it wouldn't work out well.

Oh, and I don't think our outlook on life is very different at all. For instance, we both think that in most cases death is a horrible thing. We disagree on what happens after death, but why should that affect us while we are alive? No one can know for sure what happens, at least not yet and perhaps never.

Tcg
Boy, one huge ditto on this for myself and my Christian (Methodist) S.O.. Respecting each other's philosophical/religious beliefs and positions on other topics goes a long way in keeping harmony in the relationship. I feel it's an approach more people would do well to take up.


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Re: Marriage between atheists and Christians

Post #7

Post by Diagoras »

[Replying to Miles in post #6]

Another 'mixed marriage' coming out of the woodwork... I'm in the same situation as Tcg and Miles, although my wife's not especially active in her belief.

I'm sure a problematic marriage would equally result from two people from different, strict denominations, as from any strict (strong fundamental/evangelical) Christian and an atheist.

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Re: Marriage between atheists and Christians

Post #8

Post by Miles »

Diagoras wrote: Thu Sep 01, 2022 6:25 pm [Replying to Miles in post #6]

Another 'mixed marriage' coming out of the woodwork... I'm in the same situation as Tcg and Miles, although my wife's not especially active in her belief.

I'm sure a problematic marriage would equally result from two people from different, strict denominations, as from any strict (strong fundamental/evangelical) Christian and an atheist.
Yeah, unyielding, dogmatic, zippered to the chin people have a way of disrupting society to the detriment of us all.

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Re: Marriage between atheists and Christians

Post #9

Post by Purple Knight »

I would much rather be with someone who believes differently than I do about metaphysical things no one can prove than someone who believes differently than I do about our actual current reality.

In other words, I'd marry a Christian before I'd marry a conservative. It's tough because I lean conservative on perhaps one or two issues and I frankly wouldn't respect someone who would tolerate that.

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Re: Marriage between atheists and Christians

Post #10

Post by AgnosticBoy »

Rose2020 wrote: Thu Sep 01, 2022 8:08 am Is it doomed from the start?

On another thread of thought, is real friendship really possible between two people whose philosophy and outlook on life is so different?
There could be conflict when it comes to actions. In the context of friendship, I believe two people can have differing views and still enjoy a friendship because you're not living w/ the friend or making important personal life decisions together. That's not required. But in a marriage, the people involve are living together and making important life decisions that would affect both of them. That would definitely cause conflict and doom the marriage.

The one way it can work is if there are a lot of compromises and a lot of communication.
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