Do you have family that tries to push religion on you?

[Lainey]

I was talking to my Grandma a couple of days ago, trying to get information on our family tree, which I'm researching. Just to add some background, I got engaged last month, and out of the blue, my Grandma asked me what religion I'll be joining when I get married. I said I'm not religious. Then she asked me what religion my fiance is. I told her he's not any religion, like me. She then told me that I have to believe in God, because there is one. I didn't know what to say--I never said I don't believe (as an agnostic, I have no idea), but I cannot stand religion being shoved down my throat. Then she tried to guilt me because we're going away to get married, but that's another story.

The strange thing is, she's not even terribly religious. But once when I was visiting her before, I mentioned that the Bible isn't really a "good book," and that it has all kinds of terrible stories in it. She gave me the dirtiest look. Since my family has got an inkling that I'm not at all religious (I never really was before, but now that I've disagreed with some things about religion out loud, that seems to make a difference), they've been doing little things like giving me a bible (oddly, a children's one), making little comments, etc.

I'm going to visit them this weekend, and I don't know how to deal with this. Any suggestions?

[k-nug]

In my completely unprofessional opinion, you should weigh getting along with your family versus being honest with them. Since you are agnostic I don't see why you should go through the pain of uncomfortable family situations that will not resolve themselves. If the apply pressure on you, I would gently remind them that religion is a personal issue, and that you are not ready to discuss these personal matters right now.

I am in somewhat a similar predicament, although my family is a little more open to good discussion that most. I assume they blame my atheism on my brother and father's premature deaths. While not completely accurate, it makes my family less likely to attack my atheism directly, and instead engage in beat-around-the-bush tactics that never get anywhere. which is fine with me for now.

[upallnite]

I am from a very liberal family, but Jenny is from a very fundy family. Me and her uncle enjoy our talks about religion. I avoid saying anything about their religion around his children and I think it earns me a little respect in his eyes. In turn he helped to keep his family from including anything religious in our wedding. At some point in time we both put our opinion of religion to the side so that we can get along.

Other members of both her and my family have a harder time finding that balance. My Grandmother sounds like yours. She does not go to church often and normally does not speak about God. But when she found out I was not a Christian she tried Pascals Wager (and every other gimmick) to get me to belive. I stoped going around her. She asked me why and I told her. She started getting insulting and I walked away. She is not as bad anymore but she still goes out of her way to mention God around me.

Jenny's mother blames me for Jenny's view on religion. Yet, Jenny was an Atheist before I met her. Her mother would rather not see us than to think of how different her daughter is than she wanted her to be. I can't wait till her son tells her he is an Atheist, also.

I don't know what you should do. But, I do hope my experience helps.