Roommate

[TQWcS]

Lets say you have a roommate, you have known him basically all of your life, and you and him have always been pretty good friends. The roommate has a problem. Well many problems. Such as staying up all night watching TV, talking on the phone in the dorm room till 5am, stays drunk, high and whatever all week long. Oh yeah he also has a horrible snoring problem. Remember all of this is happening in a very small dorm room. You have another friend down the hall that doesn't like living with his roommate(who is his friend). Both you and your friend down the hall have a problem with confrontation. Oh yeah and your grades are suffering because you get about 3-4 hours of sleep a night.

Given the circumstances is it best to
A) Move into the room with the other friend who may make his roommate mad by moving out.
B) Talk to your roommate about his problems.(you have already done this a few times but he won't listen, very stubborn.)
C) Learn to live with it. After all he is your friend.
E) Other

[Corvus]

Why do I get the feeling this isn't so hypothetical... You could always push him out of the window again.


Speaking seriously here, I would choose A). If I have already tried speaking to him, then doing it more is unlikely to help. If he is my friend, then he must realise that a friendship is not a friendship if neither of us has anything to offer the other. Learning to live with him seems patient and understanding, but unrealistic. Knowing him all my life does not place any obligations of sacrifice upon me.

[Piper Plexed]

Given the circumstances is it best to
A) Move into the room with the other friend who may make his roommate mad by moving out.
B) Talk to your roommate about his problems.(you have already done this a few times but he won't listen, very stubborn.)
C) Learn to live with it. After all he is your friend.
E) Other

I agree with Corvus, A is the way. It does occur to me that in any relationship, compromise is a necessity. The studious student appears very concerned with the needs of the reckless student but the reckless student doesn't seem at all concerned with the needs of the serious student. If I were the reckless and was aware of the trouble that my friend was having cohabitating with me, I would honestly make an effort to modify my activities i.e. get ear phones to use with my TV after hours, make late night calls from my cell phone in a common room in the dorm, if I spent the night out drinking and have no intention of sleeping when I get home then I would sleep over with whomever was my drinking partner. The sad part is that I suspect that the reckless student won't last very long as his grades must be suffering and the problem may take care of itself. The question is how much damage will the serious student incur in the interim. The serious student needs to speak to the RA on their floor ASAP.

[ST88]

Given the circumstances is it best to
A) Move into the room with the other friend who may make his roommate mad by moving out.
B) Talk to your roommate about his problems.(you have already done this a few times but he won't listen, very stubborn.)
C) Learn to live with it. After all he is your friend.
E) Other

I was in a similar situation in college. My sophomore year, my roommate was part of a small group of friends who drank and smoked all manner of things (all of them stinky), and partied on well into the night. In addition, he and his girlfriend thought nothing of carrying on while I was otherwise sleeping in the same room. It affected my academic performance enormously.

At the beginning of the year, we were friendly, on the way to becoming friends, until he got involved with this other small group. Then he became intolerable. It came to a head one day when I came home from class and found my side of the room vandalized in an irretrievable way. It was obvious that my roommate was a part of it. I finally went to the RA after this incident and was moved into another building. I always have regretted not taking care of the situation before it went over the top like this. But, like you, I was a little afraid of confrontation, and I still held out hope that my roommate and I could be friends. I never saw him again.

I would also choose A. I believe that in such a situation -- especially college -- you have to worry about your own grades more than the feelings of others. But also consider the toll that living with this person is taking on your friendship, if it's a real friendship. It's obvious that your roommate is hurting himself with his behavior, but people won't change unless they want to change. Maybe moving out will show him that his behavior is unacceptable. This is, admittedly, unlikely, but, again, you shouldn't have to sacrifice your transcript for the sake of someone's transitory feelings.

[Negachrist]

I choose A.

If the friend wont listen, that's his problem - I'm not going to make it mine.