Egalitarianism: Should women be required to wear a tallit?

[Jrosemary]

Gay marriage at my synagogue? No problem. Female rabbis? No problem. Female cantors? No problem. No, the controversial issue for us concerns whether or not women should be required to wear prayer shawls. (And I love that! I'm much happier having controversy over that than over the other issues!)

So here's the situation at my Conservative, egalitarian synagogue:

1. All men (Jewish or gentile) are required to wear a head covering of some sort while anywhere inside the synagogue.

2. Everyone--male or female, Jewish or gentile--is required to wear a head covering when going up to the bimah. (The bimah is a raised platform inside the sanctuary where people stand to read the Torah or say the Torah-reading blessings.)

3. All Jewish men, once they're past bar mitzvah age, are required to wear a tallit (prayer shawl) during morning services.

4. A Jewish woman, once she's past bat mitzvah age, is welcome to wear a tallit if she wants to, and even encouraged to, but she's not required to.

Is this real egalitarianism? The commandment to wear fringes (which are on our prayer shawls), according to the way most Conservative Jews interpret Jewish law, applies to both Jewish men and Jewish women. Traditionally, however, women don't wear prayer shawls, and some women are still uncomfortable donning them.

So should a Jewish woman be required to wear a tallit during morning services, just as a Jewish man is? That's the question facing my synagogue. Except that we're not quite brave enough to face that one, so what's on the table is making it a requirement only if the woman is going up to the bimah.

Any thoughts?

[cnorman18]

Personally, I think one of the great strengths of modern Judaism is our privilege of deciding our level of observance for ourselves. I'd prefer to see the wearing of tallitot become optional for men as well as for women. THAT would be egallitarian, if you like.

[Jrosemary]

Personally, I think one of the great strengths of modern Judaism is our privilege of deciding our level of observance for ourselves. I'd prefer to see the wearing of tallitot become optional for men as well as for women. THAT would be egallitarian, if you like.

Well, that's the Reform answer, and it's perfectly valid. And someone will probably bring it up at the Ritual Committee meeting when we fight this out---er, that is, when we discuss this like calm, rational, civilized people next week. (If no one else brings it up, I'll throw the possibility out there.)

However, that solution won't fly in my shul. Yes, we're quite liberal on lots of issues (women rabbis and cantors, gay marriage, etc.), but we're rather Conservadox when it comes to ritual. (Conservadox means Conservative leaning toward Orthodox.) People do as they please at home, of course, but when they come to shul, they expect to see all Jewish men in tallitot. And tefillin on weekdays.

I remember the last time a guy didn't wear a tallit for Sunday minyan; it caused a minor uproar.

Of course, a lot will depend on what our rabbi says--but, knowing my synagogue, the option of allowing everyone to choose whether or not to wear a tallit is not going to happen. And I'm kinda ok with that. I agree, in theory, that we should just let everyone choose--but, on the other hand, I respect who we are as a community. Does that make sense?

[cnorman18]

Personally, I think one of the great strengths of modern Judaism is our privilege of deciding our level of observance for ourselves. I'd prefer to see the wearing of tallitot become optional for men as well as for women. THAT would be egallitarian, if you like.

Well, that's the Reform answer, and it's perfectly valid. And someone will probably bring it up at the Ritual Committee meeting when we fight this out---er, that is, when we discuss this like calm, rational, civilized people next week. (If no one else brings it up, I'll throw the possibility out there.)

However, that solution won't fly in my shul. Yes, we're quite liberal on lots of issues (women rabbis and cantors, gay marriage, etc.), but we're rather Conservadox when it comes to ritual. (Conservadox means Conservative leaning toward Orthodox.) People do as they please at home, of course, but when they come to shul, they expect to see all Jewish men in tallitot. And tefillin on weekdays.

I remember the last time a guy didn't wear a tallit for Sunday minyan; it caused a minor uproar.

Of course, a lot will depend on what our rabbi says--but, knowing my synagogue, the option of allowing everyone to choose whether or not to wear a tallit is not going to happen. And I'm kinda ok with that. I agree, in theory, that we should just let everyone choose--but, on the other hand, I respect who we are as a community. Does that make sense?

Sure, and I agree. I haven't laid tefillin in years, but I doubt I'd care for a shul where it wasn't done, if I ever DO start going to services again. That goes for most of the ritual stuff. Honoring the ancient traditions is one of our strengths, too.

I think the whole equality issue can be overdone. No one has ever said that women and men are exactly the same, and equal rights are really a separate issue from equal obligations. I think one can have the former without the latter being necessary.

[Jrosemary]

I think the whole equality issue can be overdone. No one has ever said that women and men are exactly the same, and equal rights are really a separate issue from equal obligations. I think one can have the former without the latter being necessary.

That's the crux of the issue: are equal rights the same as equal obligation? I'd guess I'd say yes--especially since we count women as part of a minyan. If you're part of a minyan, it seems to me you should have all the responsibilities that go along with that.

[A minyan is like a quorum: you need ten adult Jews gathered together in order to say certain prayers, like Kaddish.]

So since women do count as part of a minyan in my shul, and since much of Conservative Judaism holds that the commandment to wear the fringes applies to all the people Israel, not just the men, I'm thinking that either:

A) Jewish women should be required to wear a tallit during morning services or

B) no one should be required to wear one.

However, I've already explained why B won't fly in my synagogue. Neither will option A, presumably because it will upset too many women who really have a strong aversion to putting a prayer shawl on, due to the long tradition against women wearing them (not to mention the 'politics' of the idea, since this is a hot-button issue at the Wall in Jerusalem.)

However, just requiring that every adult Jew wear a tallit up on the bimah does not seem so 'in your face,' so to speak. So that's what's on the table, and, as of now, I think I'm going to vote yes.

But, again, I still want to hear our rabbi's views and the views of the other ritual committee members before my final decision, so, ah, my opinion is subject to change.

[cnorman18]

I think the whole equality issue can be overdone. No one has ever said that women and men are exactly the same, and equal rights are really a separate issue from equal obligations. I think one can have the former without the latter being necessary.

That's the crux of the issue: are equal rights the same as equal obligation? I'd guess I'd say yes--especially since we count women as part of a minyan. If you're part of a minyan, it seems to me you should have all the responsibilities that go along with that.

[A minyan is like a quorum: you need ten adult Jews gathered together in order to say certain prayers, like Kaddish.]

So since women do count as part of a minyan in my shul, and since much of Conservative Judaism holds that the commandment to wear the fringes applies to all the people Israel, not just the men, I'm thinking that either:

A) Jewish women should be required to wear a tallit during morning services or

B) no one should be required to wear one.

However, I've already explained why B won't fly in my synagogue. Neither will option A, presumably because it will upset too many women who really have a strong aversion to putting a prayer shawl on, due to the long tradition against women wearing them (not to mention the 'politics' of the idea, since this is a hot-button issue at the Wall in Jerusalem.)

However, just requiring that every adult Jew wear a tallit up on the bimah does not seem so 'in your face,' so to speak. So that's what's on the table, and, as of now, I think I'm going to vote yes.

But, again, I still want to hear our rabbi's views and the views of the other ritual committee members before my final decision, so, ah, my opinion is subject to change.

Requiring everyone to wear a tallit when called to the bimah seems reasonable; it's already done with head coverings, so it's got a precedent.

We just have to remember not to exclude people whose sensibilities and sense of tradition differs. My dearest friend refuses to go to the bimah at all; in her day, women just didn't. She can't bring herself to do it. To her, it seems an impiety. On the other hand, she prefers to wear a talllit in services - her late father's, as it happens. Go figure.

I have two; one was a gift from the parents of a student of mine, and it's lovely. I wear it to High Holy Days services, which is about the only time I attend. I also have an old cheap one that I bought when I first set about converting, and I keep it for sentimental reasons. I have scads of kippot.

One of my observations about the differences between Judaism and Christianity is that being a Jew takes more equipment. Tallit, kippah, tefillin, chanukiyah, shofar, and on to two or three sets of dishes, Passover plates, and so on - there's a lot of stuff you need to be observant besides kosher meat. I guess that's what I get for jumping into a tradition that's three thousand years old.

[Jrosemary]

I have two; one was a gift from the parents of a student of mine, and it's lovely. I wear it to High Holy Days services, which is about the only time I attend. I also have an old cheap one that I bought when I first set about converting, and I keep it for sentimental reasons. I have scads of kippot.

I use paper plates for Passover, lol, so no separate dishes required. It may not be enviornmentally friendly, but it's only once a year--and it sure makes the clean-up after a Seder easier! For the rest of the year, I only need one set of dishes because I'm a vegetarian. (Keeping kosher becomes so easy when you go vegetarian!)

As for kippot (yarmulkes)--yeah, I have a boxful too. I think that happens to everyone who attends more than two Jewish services a year.

I also own two tallitot, but I usually forget them and end up wearing one from the tallit pile in the back of the sanctuary.

As for your tallitot--the real question is what kind do you wear? Do you wear the 'Reform' tallit (a scarf with fringes), a 'Conservative' tallit (it looks like a shawl and comes half-way down your back), or an Orthodox tallis (the full, traditional prayer shawl that requires much swaying to get it to fold correctly over your shoulders and hangs down to about your knees)?

And yes, know that I will forever judge you by what kind of tallis you wear.

[cnorman18]

I have two; one was a gift from the parents of a student of mine, and it's lovely. I wear it to High Holy Days services, which is about the only time I attend. I also have an old cheap one that I bought when I first set about converting, and I keep it for sentimental reasons. I have scads of kippot.

I use paper plates for Passover, lol, so no separate dishes required. It may not be enviornmentally friendly, but it's only once a year--and it sure makes the clean-up after a Seder easier! For the rest of the year, I only need one set of dishes because I'm a vegetarian. (Keeping kosher becomes so easy when you go vegetarian!)

As for kippot (yarmulkes)--yeah, I have a boxful too. I think that happens to everyone who attends more than two Jewish services a year.

I also own two tallitot, but I usually forget them and end up wearing one from the tallit pile in the back of the sanctuary.

As for your tallitot--the real question is what kind do you wear? Do you wear the 'Reform' tallit (a scarf with fringes), a 'Conservative' tallit (it looks like a shawl and comes half-way down your back), or an Orthodox tallis (the full, traditional prayer shawl that requires much swaying to get it to fold correctly over your shoulders and hangs down to about your knees)?

And yes, know that I will forever judge you by what kind of tallis you wear.

Actually, we've had Orthodox tallitot in Texas for centuries. We just call them "serapes."

We had sushi before anyone else, too - we call it "bait."

I wear a Conservative tallit. Big, but not huge. The family I live with is Jewish, but not observant. We didn't even have a Seder this year.

[Jrosemary]

Lol to the serape comment!

A "Conservative," middle-of-the road tallis is respectable, though I prefer to see guys in the full-length, "Orthodox" tallitot. I cordially dislike the scarf-like, "Reform" tallit--it looks like you're not even trying.

[cnorman18]

Lol to the serape comment!

A "Conservative," middle-of-the road tallis is respectable, though I prefer to see guys in the full-length, "Orthodox" tallitot. I cordially dislike the scarf-like, "Reform" tallit--it looks like you're not even trying.

I've been to a very Orthodox shul here in Dallas, and I've wondered how the men tolerate those enormous blankets. This is Texas. It's 102 in the summer. The shul doesn't run its air conditioning on the Sabbath. Those tallitot are made of wool. The deodorant salesmen must be making a fortune.

I mean, tradition is wonderful, but... ?