His Name Is John wrote:I only just saw this thread, perhaps I should pay more attention in the future. Anyway, there are a whole list of reasons why you shouldn't have sex before marriage:
These appear to be pragmatic reasons, not moral or theological reasons...
- Risk of unwanted pregnancy
With birth control, the blessing of technology, that risk is lower than getting hurt in a car or in other common human behaviors. Life is risk control, not fear and disengagement.
- Increased risk in STDs
Same answer as above.
- Partners who have sex before marriage are much more likely to get divorced
This is very questionable, but if true I think it's likely a factor of freedom and perspective driving any correlation rather than the sex.
- Makes sex less special
Only if you let it. Special by what definition, enforced scarcity? That seems like a self-validating conclusion.
I've had stupendously good sex with near-total strangers, and garbage sex with a loved one. But when love and sex are together (as it is now) it's the best, and most of us aspire to that. But I'm confident that most people who have premarital sex are fully capable of "special sex" with a loved one when the time comes, and even MORE special as a result of 1. practice, and 2. knowing the lesser alternatives.
- Marriage provides a stable environment for children
What's that got to do with premarital sex? Most people I know have sex for 15 years or so before marriage (say from 16 to 30 or so), and then a few more in marriage before having kids (say 34-40 or s0).
I think just one or two of these alone are enough reason to wait (and indeed these are not all the different arguments, just a handful of them).
Sure, if one wants to. I have no problem with that. But these are not a moral or theological case against premarital sex, and even pragmatically they seem to fall short of a compelling argument either to force celibacy on oneself for 15 or so years during the peak of one's attractiveness and drive, or to enter into a young marriage that might not have an adequete basis for union for other reasons (I guess this is where the divorce taboo comes in handy).
Plus, testing for sexual compatability ahead of committing seems as wise as testing for personal compatability.
If you have questions, I am happy to explain each point in more detail.
I'll be here.