A question for christians:

[Richard81]

I want to know what a christian would do if their child turned into an atheist. Be honest, put yourself in this situation and vote on what you would do if suddenly faced with this scenario. Leave a comment explaining why, if you want. If you choose other, comment what you would do.

[Divine Insight]

Having been born, baptized, raised, and born again as a Christian at one point in my life, I feel qualified to answer as I would have answered back when I was still a "Christian".

My mother didn't believe in pressuring anyone to "believe" in anything. And she was a devout Christian to the very day she died. I always agreed with her views on this. For me Christianity was never about a "Jesus" who would condemn people for not believing in him. And my mother certainly felt the same way.

I realize that the Christian scriptures of Mark and John basically demand a belief in Jesus lest a person be condemned or damned. But those words were never attributed to Jesus himself anyway, and they were totally incompatible with the persona that had been attributed to Jesus himself.

What a person believes is unimportant. How they conduct their lives is important.

If my child were an atheist who had impeccable moral values I would see that child as being totally Christ-like (as the saying goes). No belief in any religious rumors is necessary. That misses the whole point of the moral values involved.

On the other hand, if my child was beginning to do highly immoral things because of their "belief" in atheism, then I would be concerned. Not about their religious beliefs, but just about their behavior in general.

I think above all else a person should be honest. If my child honestly can't believe in the religion then what would be the point in trying to get the child to believe in a religion dishonestly?

That's basically the stance my mother took with me when I rejected Christianity. She recognized that I genuinely could not believe in the biblical stories. She knew that I was being honest about it. And she often supported my views by simply saying to me, 'You should always be honest with God". And that includes being honest about not believing in religious scriptures.

Why lie to God? How stupid would that be?

I don't believe in the biblical picture of God. And if there exists a God I think he or she should be the first one to know this TRUTH.

If you can' be truthful with God then who can you be truthful with?

[Richard81]

I agree with most of that. I became an atheist not that long ago, and im just wondering what might happen when I tell my parents. And the question is meant to ask what you would do if your child one day just surprised you by telling you their an atheist, it doesn't say if their moral or immoral, just asking what your immediate reaction would be if your child said they were atheist now.

[Divine Insight]

I agree with most of that. I became an atheist not that long ago, and im just wondering what might happen when I tell my parents. And the question is meant to ask what you would do if your child one day just surprised you by telling you their an atheist, it doesn't say if their moral or immoral, just asking what your immediate reaction would be if your child said they were atheist now.

Only you can know how your parents might react. How religious are they? And what has their stance toward religion been in the past?

They will no doubt have many questions, and potential concerns. It's going to be somewhat of a shock to them if they had raised you to believe in a God and all of a sudden you're dumping it on them that you no longer believe. It's going to be perfectly natural for them to ask what changed your mind.

It's also going to be natural for them to respond with "arguments" for why they may not see your reasons as being valid for "them". That's just a natural response, they aren't necessarily trying to convince you to believe something. After all, the reasons that you give to them are in a sense "challenging" their beliefs, so it's a natural reaction for them to "defend" their own point of view. They may even be doing it subconsciously to convince themselves that their own beliefs are "justified".

It's highly unlikely that they'll just say, "Oh that's nice", and just leave it at that.

After all, in the Christian scriptures both Mark and John make it very clear that anyone who refuses to believe that Jesus is the "Son of God" are damned already. So that's a pretty serious charge.

Paul also proclaims that there is "no excuse" for not believing in God, etc.

So Christians are taught these two basic principles. To not believe in Jesus is certain damnation, and there is "no excuse" for not believing. The bible also teaches that Satan is constantly trying to convince people to "turn against" God, and non-belief is seen as one of his "tactics".

So it really depends on what they believe, and what they've been taught by their church, etc.

I can't imagine them just taking it in stride without some attempt to convince you that you're "wrong", or that you are being "deceived" by Satan, or whatever.

The Christian scriptures teach people to think like that. So what can you do? It's an innate part of the religion. Unless your parents are very liberal Christians who don't buy into most of what is actually stated in the scriptures.

It's really impossible for anyone to know how your parents might react without knowing your parents.

I would certainly imagine that they're going to be asking you WHY?

They are going to want to know what changed your mind.

And when you tell them, if they don't see that as being a convincing reason, it's only natural that they are going to argue that point.

Are you prepared to answer that inevitable question?

What changed you're mind? Why are you so convinced that there is no God?

Surely it's natural for them to be asking those questions. Are you prepared to answer them without getting all defensive about it?

~~~~

I mean, I've personally rejected Christianity. But I'm not convinced that there is no spiritual essence to life. And I'm a highly scientific person. Science has been the main focal point of my entire life. So even I would be curious as to why my child might be convinced that there is no spiritual essence to life at all. Not that I would get all irate about it. But I'd certainly discuss the possibilities with them.

And I don't even think it's important what a person believes. Still I would discuss it with them on a purely philosophical and intellectual level. Not attempting to pressure them into believing any specific thing.

My sister is a "pure secular atheist" (i.e. she's convinced that there is no spiritual or mystical element to reality). I personally believe that there may very well be a spiritual or mystical element to reality. We often have discussions about this. She continually tries to convince me that I'm stupid for thinking that there is anything more to life than pure mechanical accident. I continually try to convince her that we don't have sufficient knowledge of reality to jump to that conclusion.

Neither of us really cares what the other believes because in the end whatever will be will be. Personal belief has nothing to do with reality. At least we both agree that the idea of a personified God who will cast people into eternal damnation for not believing in him is so utterly absurd that it's not even worthy of consideration.

Don't tell your parents that though, or you'll basically be insulting their beliefs, if that's what they actually believe.

[Richard81]

Well, I told my brother, a former atheist, that I don't believe in god, and his immediate response was; "your lost," whitch is completely unlike him to say, and I did not expect it at all. I told him not long after I made my final decision, and I believe he excepts my decision now. I guess thats the best reaction I can hope for from my parents.

I don't believe it matters if theirs a god, we should live our lives however we want regardless. I think your right though, it is possible for their to be some divine being, but I don't care if their is, im going to live my life how I want to. I prefer the title atheist because, for the moment, anyway, I don't believe in divine beings, and until I get good proof, I will continue to deny their existence, but I do not believe their impossible.

[Divine Insight]

I never really saw any major difference between the way I would like to live my life and the way a truly divine God would want me to live it.

I wouldn't need to change my lifestyle whether I decide to be a Taoist, a Buddhist, a Wiccan, an Atheist, a Christian or a Jew. I might need to change my lifestyle to become a Muslim though since I don't currently go around blowing myself up in public places.

Although, to become a Christian evangelist I guess I would need to start lying a lot. So that would be out.

[McCulloch]

Moderator Warning



Please review our Rules.

This is a blanket statement against Muslims. The vast majority of Muslims do not believe in blowing themselves up on public places. This also could be read as a blanket statement against Evangelical Christians.

I might need to change my lifestyle to become a Muslim though since I don't currently go around blowing myself up in public places.

Although, to become a Christian evangelist I guess I would need to start lying a lot. So that would be out.

______________

Moderator warnings count as a strike against users. Additional violations in the future may warrant a final warning. Any challenges or replies to moderator postings should be made via Private Message to avoid derailing topics.

[janavoss]

I want to know what a christian would do if their child turned into an atheist. Be honest, put yourself in this situation and vote on what you would do if suddenly faced with this scenario. Leave a comment explaining why, if you want. If you choose other, comment what you would do.

I voted for #3 even though it doesn't really fit, I suppose it's the closest.
We have a son who is 17, almost 18. He is not a Christian. Which does not mean he's an atheist, it just means he has not decided to be a Christian. So there would be no "turning back" to Christianity because he is not a Christian in the first place.

Obviously we hope and pray that one day he will want to become a Christian. I know he sees the value in living as a Christian because we've had conversations about this. He even has a Christian university on his short list of potential colleges, which surprised us, we had never even mentioned it. I know he feels more comfortable around believers than non-believers. It's what he's known his whole life.

Ultimately the choice is his. You can't "make" someone believe something if they don't. However, I would not simply accept that he would be an atheist in the sense that I would be absolutely OK with it, as if I think one choice is just as good as the other. I don't think that. But I wouldn't be hostile or aggressive about it either. It's his belief, his choice. I just have faith the examples he's had so far in his life will lead him to choose Christianity eventually.