The Tooth Fairy and Santa For Children

[jgh7]

Millions of parents tell their young ones of the tooth fairy and Santa. They'll go so far as to sneak presents under the tree or money under the pillow to convince children that said make-believe character is real.

When the time comes, parents later tell their children (or the children find out on their own) that these characters are not real and just pretend. This is seen as a tradition and something to look back fondly on as a child.

But is it right to do such things? To trick children for years into believing in such things, only for them to possibly get their hearts broken when they find out it's all been a lie given by those whom they most trusted?

I'm undecided on the matter. I wasn't devastated when I found out the tooth fairy wasn't real even though I used to believe he/she was. And perhaps the whole experience was interesting and maybe useful in learning about faith. I did have great fun when I believed and saw the "miracles" so to speak. But I know my young cousin was very distressed when I accidentally told him Santa was fake.

I'm undecided on whether it's right or wrong to bring up kids believing in the tooth fairy / Santa. What are your thoughts?

[catnip]

[Replying to post 4 by JehovahsWitness]

I pretty much agree with what you're saying. It just seems wrong to knowingly decieve children even if it's for their entertainment. Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy are deceptions that last for years before parents decide to end the belief (or kids find out on their own). It just doesn't seem right and I wonder if it's some odd indocrination of culture in society.

Odd? Before we had televisions and later computers and social media and all that, communities found ways to get together to have community wide events that were for fun, for celebration--any excuse would do! They were not all religious but many were built around religious holy days (holiday). There would be dancing in the streets, local musicians get together to play music composed for those events, special foods would be prepared, people would dress up as special characters like Uncle Sam on stilts for the 4th of July. We would have parades with floats and clowns. Sometimes, we would even build huge bonfires after homecoming, or just a free concert in a park.

The sad thing is that as we grow more connected to electronic media of various sorts, we are forgetting the need for these things and the expectation, planning for celebration.

Shall I create a list of common community wide celebrations or can you stop for a minute and remember them? Humans have done this all along--throughout history. It even was done in the stone age. Our reasons have changed, our holidays, our purpose--but we've always had them.

This is Labor Day. Did you go to the parade? Or get together with friends--perhaps for the last big hurrah at the lake before the end of warm weather? What did you do? Traditionally, it was an excuse to have a holiday--a social day, a day of play.

[catnip]

So it seems even at an early age we are conditioning our children to believe in magic and the supernatural.

Yes exactly! Lying to children, especially about magic, teaching them to follow superstious rituals with a reward based kickback (as in tooth fairy tactics) and encouraging them to find spiritistic practices fun and funny with toys and games, are all in my view a kind of early conditoning ...

Just my personal opinion

JW

What kind of "early conditioning"? Conditioning for what? To what purpose?

Heaven help us all if we can't have any fantasy, no imagination, no get-togethers, no reason to get together, no laughter, no happy anticipation, no excitement and no memories to hold on to after the day is done.

Yeah, I suppose that depriving children of fun is a good solid way to raise productive children.

Or maybe this nonsense of depriving ourselves of all things joyful might be contributing to all the anger that is growing in this world. The road rage that was never heard of thirty years ago. The ultra-egotistical, hateful, punitive, selfish, neglectful trends that are leading to increases in suicides in teens and young adults. Let's stop doing the things humans have done since the dawn of time to have a breather from the realities of day to day life and the rat race.

[JehovahsWitness]

So it seems even at an early age we are conditioning our children to believe in magic and the supernatural.

Yes exactly! Lying to children, especially about magic, teaching them to follow superstious rituals with a reward based kickback (as in tooth fairy tactics) and encouraging them to find spiritistic practices fun and funny with toys and games, are all in my view a kind of early conditoning ...

Just my personal opinion

JW

What kind of "early conditioning"? Conditioning for what? To what purpose?

Sorry, I wasn't very clear, when I say "conditioning our children to believe in magic and the supernatural" I don't think that most parents think about it one way or the other, if a toy is on offer and the child wants it they buy it and think no more on the subject... but such things do in my opinion condition children to find the occust and spiritistic practices harmless and even amusing. The same for endless teen movies and kiddie cartoons on the same themes.


Heaven help us all if we can't have any fantasy, no imagination, no get-togethers, no reason to get together, no laughter, no happy anticipation, no excitement and no memories to hold on to after the day is done.

I hope I didn't give the impression that I was opposed to "imagination" or "joyful social gatherings". It is possible to have many such things at any age without such themes being present. As one of Jehovah's Witnesses I can testify it is more than possible to enjoy gatherings and help children develop a healthy imagination without resotring to spiritistic themes.


JW

[KenRU]

Millions of parents tell their young ones of the tooth fairy and Santa. They'll go so far as to sneak presents under the tree or money under the pillow to convince children that said make-believe character is real.

When the time comes, parents later tell their children (or the children find out on their own) that these characters are not real and just pretend. This is seen as a tradition and something to look back fondly on as a child.

But is it right to do such things? To trick children for years into believing in such things, only for them to possibly get their hearts broken when they find out it's all been a lie given by those whom they most trusted?

I'm undecided on the matter. I wasn't devastated when I found out the tooth fairy wasn't real even though I used to believe he/she was. And perhaps the whole experience was interesting and maybe useful in learning about faith. I did have great fun when I believed and saw the "miracles" so to speak. But I know my young cousin was very distressed when I accidentally told him Santa was fake.

I'm undecided on whether it's right or wrong to bring up kids believing in the tooth fairy / Santa. What are your thoughts?

I wanted my son to "experience" something magical like I did as kid (Santa, tooth fairy). I see nothing wrong with this practice, if handled with care.

Part of the joy, imo, of being a kid is that anything is possible. Magic could be real. Imagination knows no bounds and the world is a wonderful and safe place.

I wanted to let my son experience that, as I did.

Children grow up fast, these days. They catch on quick, and are far more discerning (with the internet and social media) than I ever was as a kid.

I say allow the magic to last as long as it can (and it won't be all that long to begin with anyways).

-all the best

[Talishi]

Children grow up fast, these days. They catch on quick, and are far more discerning (with the internet and social media) than I ever was as a kid.

I grew up on Scooby Doo.

Scooby Doo taught kids that every alleged instance of the supernatural is really just some creep trying to trick people so they can make a buck.

[KenRU]

Children grow up fast, these days. They catch on quick, and are far more discerning (with the internet and social media) than I ever was as a kid.

I grew up on Scooby Doo.

Scooby Doo taught kids that every alleged instance of the supernatural is really just some creep trying to trick people so they can make a buck.

Can't go wrong with Scooby.

[Strider324]

I consider it quite irresponsible and dangerous for a parent to teach their children that some old man is giving them gifts, and that they should be excited about it. This leads logically to kids being more comfortable getting into a car when some old man smiles at them and offers them candy.

I taught my children that his parents were giving them gifts because of how good they were and because WE loved them - not some make believe stranger. You can ask my kids, but they have told me that nothing is more 'magical' to them than knowing their parents love them unconditionally regardless of their human lapses in behavior.

Bible love is conditional. It boils down to 'Obey me or burn', or 'I'll love as long as you do what I demand'.

That's an inferior form of love. Why would anyone teach that to their children?

[KenRU]

I consider it quite irresponsible and dangerous for a parent to teach their children that some old man is giving them gifts, and that they should be excited about it.

Not really my point, though was it? No harm in allowing a little magic or wonder to exist in a child's life (conditionally), imo.

This leads logically to kids being more comfortable getting into a car when some old man smiles at them and offers them candy.

I respectfully disagree.

My son would never dream of getting into a stranger's car, regardless of his santa belief.

I taught my children that his parents were giving them gifts because of how good they were and because WE loved them - not some make believe stranger.

I commend you on this. It is an admirable message to teach your children.

I submit that both ways can accomplish the same thing.

You can ask my kids, but they have told me that nothing is more 'magical' to them than knowing their parents love them unconditionally regardless of their human lapses in behavior.

Sounds like you have succeeded in raising great kids. Well done.

Bible love is conditional.

I agree.

It boils down to 'Obey me or burn', or 'I'll love as long as you do what I demand'.

I agree.

That's an inferior form of love. Why would anyone teach that to their children?

I wouldn't, and didn't.

We taught our son about a very secular Santa, who brings well behaved little boys and girls presents.

No fire. No brimstone. But there was a mention of possible coal, lol.

No religion necessary.

And we had fun while it lasted.

All the best,

[Strider324]

KenRU scribed:

No harm in allowing a little magic or wonder to exist in a child's life (conditionally), imo.

Only the harm of lying to them, and the possible harm of having them internalize 'magical' bullshit as being real.

Further, if the goal is to introduce 'a little magic or wonder' into a child's life - we have the entire known universe for that! My children were transformed by their first visit inside a salt mine in Austria, and again by the reality of snowflakes, and yet again by the realization that the 'star' in Hercules named M13 is actually a globular cluster filled with 300,000 stars.

There is literally no end to the wonder and magic that can be bestowed upon a child by the natural world. I find it bizarre that any modern human would even find the time for such nonsense like Santa or the bible in the face of the awe-inspiring 'magic' of the real world.

My son would never dream of getting into a stranger's car, regardless of his santa belief.

Respectfully, you can have no real idea of what your child might do. Morgues are littered with children whose parents felt they could read their minds.

I wouldn't, and didn't.

We taught our son about a very secular Santa, who brings well behaved little boys and girls presents.

Which is the behavior of a Santa that loves children. And that is an inferior form of love compared to a parents love.

No fire. No brimstone. But there was a mention of possible coal, lol.

No religion necessary.

Yeah, any religious context to Santa is irrelevant to my argument, which is that there is a possible bad result from teaching young children that an old man bringing them toys is a good thing, especially when there are countless other ways for parents and families to express their love and introduce wonder (see above).

And we had fun while it lasted.

And I'm very glad that no tragic result ensued. I wish all parents could say the same.

[KenRU]

KenRU scribed:

No harm in allowing a little magic or wonder to exist in a child's life (conditionally), imo.

Only the harm of lying to them, and the possible harm of having them internalize 'magical' bullshit as being real.

Raised in a secular home, that risk was quite minimal.

Further, if the goal is to introduce 'a little magic or wonder' into a child's life - we have the entire known universe for that! My children were transformed by their first visit inside a salt mine in Austria, and again by the reality of snowflakes, and yet again by the realization that the 'star' in Hercules named M13 is actually a globular cluster filled with 300,000 stars.

I agree, as was mine. I was, after all, able to impress both. They do not have to be mutually exclusive.

There is literally no end to the wonder and magic that can be bestowed upon a child by the natural world. I find it bizarre that any modern human would even find the time for such nonsense like Santa or the bible in the face of the awe-inspiring 'magic' of the real world.

Even though I have no place for religion in my life, I can only partially agree. While now as an atheist, I still have extremely fond memories of Christmas Morning. The love (from family was almost palpable - and Santa was only an afterthought.

The "magic" of finding presents, leaving cookies out for Santa, etc, was a ton of fun.

Keep in mind that I agree that the "magic:" of the real world is and can be just (if not more so) as awe-inspiring.

I just believe there is room for both.

My son would never dream of getting into a stranger's car, regardless of his santa belief.

Respectfully, you can have no real idea of what your child might do. Morgues are littered with children whose parents felt they could read their minds.

Then respectfully, neither do you.

I wouldn't, and didn't.

We taught our son about a very secular Santa, who brings well behaved little boys and girls presents.

Which is the behavior of a Santa that loves children. And that is an inferior form of love compared to a parents love.]/quote]

We focused on Santa only concerning himself with whether the children followed the rules of their parents. Santa loving kids never came up.

Our love for our son was never in question, and need not be when discussing Santa.

No fire. No brimstone. But there was a mention of possible coal, lol.

No religion necessary.

Yeah, any religious context to Santa is irrelevant to my argument, which is that there is a possible bad result from teaching young children that an old man bringing them toys is a good thing, especially when there are countless other ways for parents and families to express their love and introduce wonder (see above).

There are a lot of possible bad things to come from a lot of unexpected events or teachings - as any parent knows regardless of secular or religious belief - or Santa related practices.

Such as an adult pretending to be a police officer. A child (who is capable of believing in Santa) would not know the difference between a real uniform and a fake.

My point is that we arm our children as best we can. Santa is known to only come once a year, an officer can be encountered any time.

And we had fun while it lasted.

And I'm very glad that no tragic result ensued. I wish all parents could say the same.

Kids can be enticed into bad situations regardless of a Santa belief. Your concern, to me, is unwarranted.

We can arm our children, as did I, as best we can.

A once a year "magical" event is but a drop in the bucket, imo, compared to the daily dangers a kid must face.

I respect your position, and concede it has the intellectual high road over mine. But, the fun factor, well, I think I win that one. : )

-all the best