Blasphemous "How-To" Book

[TwentyOneSix]

A recently published book has come to my attention and I feel it is necessary to warn my fellow Christians about literature's newest strike against religion. The author purports to make religion into a hobby that anyone can do, and goes as far as to insinuate using scrap materials out of one's garage to build pagan idols for worship! These people sit around drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes and doing lord knows what else, they put some words on paper and think they're good enough to be the lord himself! What's worse, the misguided and ignorant masses blind to the guiding light of god are buying into this filth! This book not only insults Christianity, but the entire concept of religion itself!

This is why we shouldn't teach public school children to read and write; the liberal public school system indoctrinates them into a hollywood-controlled and godless society by strictly enforcing atheism on them, and then our tax dollars teach these pitiful brainwashed kids how to commit travesties like this! If we could only limit the teaching of literacy to good, law-abiding, religious, private school children then things like this wouldn't happen.

Here's a link in case anyone doesn't believe me:

[McCulloch]

I'm talking about the scientific theory that the Earth is encapsulated in a shell of gas, an "atmosphere", or the "ozone layer" those hippies are always whining about. Apparently you do think it's a magic forcefield, last time I paid any attention to "science" I was told that without this shell there'd be nothing to hold breathable air on the planet.

You are so right. The truth is that the heavens separate the water that is above from the water that is below. God made the expanse, and separated the waters which were below the expanse from the waters which were above the expanse; and it was so. God called the expanse heaven. And that the moon, sun and the stars are contained within that expanse between the water that is above and the water that is below. God made the two great lights, the greater light to govern the day, and the lesser light to govern the night; He made the stars also. God placed them in the expanse of the heavens to give light on the earth, and to govern the day and the night, and to separate the light from the darkness; Those blasphemous scientists imagine that stars are millions of light years away or that the moon is above the clouds, just have not read their Bibles. Or if they have, they have rejected the revealed truth of God.

[elle]

I honestly still hope TwentyOneSix is joking. Either way I've got to thank him for making it easy for me to add this to my Amazon "wish list."

[BirdofPrey]

You are so right. The truth is that the heavens separate the water that is above from the water that is below. God made the expanse, and separated the waters which were below the expanse from the waters which were above the expanse; and it was so. God called the expanse heaven. And that the moon, sun and the stars are contained within that expanse between the water that is above and the water that is below. God made the two great lights, the greater light to govern the day, and the lesser light to govern the night; He made the stars also. God placed them in the expanse of the heavens to give light on the earth, and to govern the day and the night, and to separate the light from the darkness;

Must be something wrong with the translation. Why is heaven and the expanse of the heavens expected to be the same thing. From what I read, it's an expanse of the expanse rather, where the lights are placed.

Those blasphemous scientists imagine that stars are millions of light years away or that the moon is above the clouds, just have not read their Bibles. Or if they have, they have rejected the revealed truth of God.

In my humble oppinion, ridiculing science is not worse than ridiculing a badly understood translation of the Word of God.

[TwentyOneSix]

I'm talking about the scientific theory that the Earth is encapsulated in a shell of gas, an "atmosphere", or the "ozone layer" those hippies are always whining about. Apparently you do think it's a magic forcefield, last time I paid any attention to "science" I was told that without this shell there'd be nothing to hold breathable air on the planet.

You are so right. The truth is that the heavens separate the water that is above from the water that is below. God made the expanse, and separated the waters which were below the expanse from the waters which were above the expanse; and it was so. God called the expanse heaven. And that the moon, sun and the stars are contained within that expanse between the water that is above and the water that is below. God made the two great lights, the greater light to govern the day, and the lesser light to govern the night; He made the stars also. God placed them in the expanse of the heavens to give light on the earth, and to govern the day and the night, and to separate the light from the darkness; Those blasphemous scientists imagine that stars are millions of light years away or that the moon is above the clouds, just have not read their Bibles. Or if they have, they have rejected the revealed truth of God.

It's about time someone started making sense around here, I was beginning to think this entire website was one big satan party.

[Scotracer]

Consider Poe's Law proven

To me however this could be Poe's Law fighting Poe's Law...

[McCulloch]

Consider Poe's Law proven

To me however this could be Poe's Law fighting Poe's Law...

As much as I would like to agree, a law is not proven by the existence of many examples. Do read up on the philosophy of science.

[Scotracer]

Consider Poe's Law proven

To me however this could be Poe's Law fighting Poe's Law...

As much as I would like to agree, a law is not proven by the existence of many examples. Do read up on the philosophy of science.

Which is negated by the example in this thread - it is that much of an exposé.

[Miles]

I got no further than the opening sentence:

"A recently published book has come to my attention and I feel it is necessary to warn my fellow Christians about literature's newest strike against religion."

before it was clear I was reading one very disturbed person. To look upon literature as an opponent to all religion is, to say the least, a quite daffy.

[Bio-logical]

Wow.

You don't think there's an atmosphere on our planet? WOW. I think that "statement" alone is enough for me to completely disregard your posts. The atmosphere IS the air you...actually, no I wont resort to ad hominems.

And Darwin a Satanist

If you think it's all a load of gibberish please sell your car, chuck out your phone, throw away your TV, throw away all your medicines, destroy any glasses you might wear, cut off the electricity and gas supplies to your home and go live in a cave. Your opinion is an insult to humanity.

In hindsight, I fear Poe's Law may be applicable here...

Just found this thread and with the OP I immediately went to Poe's Law, but subsequent posts have lead me to believe this is either a very creative and dedicated satirist or a sorely misguided Fundie. Please twentyonesix give us a winking smiley!

[FinalEnigma]

First prove to me that your religion is "the only one that's right".

While I believe very strongly in what I have said, concrete evidence is impossible. For the sake of debate I'll withdraw that statement, though I won't contradict it.

Second, don't call the deities and spirits that are dear to me evil. I don't say such things about your God or the man Jesus, a little mutual respect is in order, lest you want to get booted off the forum.

I didn't mean to come off as insulting, but I was raised to believe that the numerous gods of polytheistic religions were illusions created by the devil to lead mankind away from the true path, and I still firmly hold this belief. But you're right, you've yet to say anything insulting about my god so I should keep such statements to myself.

You've got one life, I plan on enjoying mine, not living in fear of it.

I don't see how a slow suicide by caffeine and tobacco is "enjoying life".

I accepted the lord into my life. He didn't do jack for me. There was lots of time when I was thinking about leaving, contemplating it... Years even. He had plenty of time to show me this 'blinding light' and did nothing. That leads me to conclude that (A) He is powerless to do so, (B) He can do so but chooses not to, or (C) he doesn't exist at all.

He puts many trials in our paths so that we may improve ourselves through overcoming hardship and temptation and prove that we are worthy of ascension into heaven. I have never stopped walking the path, even when I only see one set of footprints.

I did read the "good book"... Full of incest, war, curses, plagues, pagan magic, sex, violence, murder, and torture... Kind of like the much-maligned Hollywood movies.

The Bible does depict sin numerous times, but only to show that such acts are justly punished.

Indeed. Like the part where Lot gets drunk (isn't that bad?) and has sex with both his daughters.(outside of marriage of course)

Then God calls him righteous.

And Harry Potter is damn entertaining fantasy... Read: FANTASY.. You know, entertainment, like this evil book is.

If you read about a boy summoning demons to do his bidding, you're not using any magic yourself.

I've read the harry potter series. It was enjoyable, though I find the world a bit too childish for my tastes(it is of course, for children). However, I don't recall anybody summoning demons, or, indeed, anybody summoning any kind of creature.

If you stand and watch a man murder someone you didn't kill anyone yourself, but does that make you innocent?

I usually sit while watching TV myself.

You would really love computer games wouldn't you?

Fantasy presents these things in a positive light and makes them seem okay. With generation after generation exposed to this message of acceptance, society gradually becomes less moral.

now, I'd like to clarify, that the vast majority of fiction media which shows such things as you disprove of, show people being punished for them. Usually the only ones to go unpunished for killing and such are the good guys - who are opposing the people doing the evil things.

Children are the most susceptible, they will act out movies and video games in school with a pretty high casualty rate.

What on earth?
I don't hear of children killing each other imitating video games and movies very often. Maybe racing movies - the fast and the furious or something - but those aren't the ones you're objecting to.

100 years ago, women couldn't show their ankles in public, now nudist colonies are tolerated and television is overrun with sex and nudity. Entertaining fantasy made that possible, a woman in a scandalous short dress used to be pure fantasy, now look at how short they've gotten in real life!

and I suppose you believe that the Muslims have the right idea about how women should dress?

How many times do you think mass murder and genocide will have to be depicted as perfectly fine in the media before the laws on them relax?

This is obviously absurd. The laws on murder are not going to 'relax' and the media doesn't actually depict mass murder and genocide as perfectly fine.

Prove it. You have zero proof. Most scientific theories are far from baseless. Belief in god (Even my own belief in my gods) is baseless. Science is not. That's why it's science.

Science is based on abstract concepts and theories that are supposedly too small to be seen by the eye, or just "invisible". When you take all of these concepts for granted as absolute truth, science makes sense. However, if you look at the most basic concepts with a grain of salt it becomes clear that it's all a case of the masses believing it because it's "common sense" or because someone in glasses and a lab coat said it was true.

I've looked through a microscope and seen cells. What was I looking at?

Go read about the wholesale slaughter of my Heathen ancestors by St. Olaf, and then try to tell me about this "Unified under the love of the one true God" nonsense. Heathens and pagans practiced for centuries in secret all over europe, there was none of this imaginary communal religion you speak of.

I hardly see how the justified execution of dangerous cults to bring Christian civilization to a barbaric land is cause for upset. His methods may have been extreme, but he took the best course of action that he knew of at the time.

Hmm. since from the atheistic perspective, Christianity is harmful, they should try to lead people away from it right? that would only be doing what they see as the best course of action.
peaceful stuff hasn't seemed to work so well - I bet if we passed laws to torture all suspected christians people would immediately start deconverting into the more healthy atheism - it would only be the best course of action as atheists see it.

now, that what you just said is acceptable. torture is blatantly wrong, and atheists would never pass or enforce such laws - it takes religious zealotry to do that.