A Question about Prayer - Christians and Former Christians

[elle]

I apologize for making my first post in a year and a half a new topic, but I didn't see anything in the search that answered my question. Please feel free to point me to a thread if I missed it.

I am dealing with very extreme parents who are just now starting to accept the reality that we have very different belief systems. My father mentioned at lunch today that he wanted to try to repair our relationship, which is a huge step in the right direction. However, he didn't state what he and my mother were willing to do to be less passive-aggressive in the civility department. Instead, he mentioned 2 accommodations he wanted me to make for them. The one I wish to discuss is regarding prayer.

Now, I've accepted invitations from various friends to go with them to their churches. As a non-religious person, I have been always been more of an observer than a participant in these situations. I don't know the music, so I don't sing. I also don't take communion, contribute money, or participate in prayer. I stand and sit when instructed, but other than that I simply quietly listen to the prayers, readings, and sermon. I have never been told by a friend that anything I did or did not do was inappropriate.

My father seems to feel that by not closing my eyes during his mealtime prayers, I am being disrespectful to his beliefs. I must have had a confused look on my face when he said this, because he went on to explain that it was because "other people notice." Now, I don't think there is anyone in my family that has any doubt that I'm not a Christian with the exception of those I never talk to or see anyway. I'm not sure what "other people" he was referring to or why it should matter, as anyone who notices that my eyes are not closed will have to be looking around the room and not paying attention to the prayer themselves, right? As explained earlier, I am very quiet, don't distract anyone, and I certainly don't begin to eat before they finish their prayer.

So, my question is this: why is it disrespectful for me as a non-Christian when in a setting with Christians to not close my eyes during their prayers? Part of my childhood theology was that closing ones eyes during prayer helped you block out distractions and focus on what was being said. In this context, I not only do not see the disrespect in my "non-action" but I also don't understand why it is preferable for me to pretend as if I'm praying too. Am I missing something? I'm posing this to both Christians and non-Christians because I think that both could possibly shed some light on this. Thanks in advance.

[salvation2011]

Does he pray for you to be saved in front of you and the entire extended family like mine does? Let me tell you... that goes over well. Especially when people then want to talk about religion but my wife has forbid me from talking about religion at family functions.

I also bow my head but don't always close my eyes when they pray. I tend to blow off the rest. I suggest complying with his request at least to start bridging the gap. No matter how un-civil they may get it is always best to take the higher road. It is not an inconvenience to close your eyes or even bow your head. If it makes a positive impact to the relationship without offending your beliefs then it can only be a good thing.

Like all the advice so far, its a tough position to be in. My observation is that if he knows you arent closing your eyes, then he isnt either and that makes him a hippocrite. I actually do not bow my head in church (as an allegy sufferer at times if I bend my head forward in prayer my nose will run... so I apply it to always. I also stay quiet never praise Jesus, if Jesus has been praised in the prayer I do not say Amen. Praising God, I say Amen.

Take the higher ground bc if you dont, you only confirm to them that Christians are better than non-Christians. Bow your head, close your eyes and do not say Amen. You can even say your own little something in your mind and say Amen at the same time, but to your own internal prayer. Something simple like "Life is beautiful!... Amen in time with your Dad... but perhaps just mouth it not speak it. He obviously cares more about how it publicly looks (not that that makes him a bad person, its just how he feels). I wold like to hear how it goes (maybe its late rin the thread), bc Im about to take this on myself Easter Sunday... yikes, when I quietly will have to pee just prior to the communion.