Why Is the Moon God Wrong?

[mgranger241]

So theres this really cool God ya’ll proabably don’t know about. But you TOTS have to. His name is MG. The Moon God, and he’s super awesome. That’s right. The Moon God. I didn’t believe it at first either but it just makes SO much sense. He knows and does everything and loves everybody. Except for the people who died and didn’t do exactly what he said, or didn’t believe in him, or did but didn’t do it all right. But those people suck anyways so let’s just forget about em.

But anyways this dude on the street was like “yo man, have you heard about the moon god?� and I was all like “no man that sounds pretty ridiculous. There’s no moon god. It’s just a moon.� But then he said “naw man. It’s not. He talks to me and he even told me all this really true stuff that happened and he told me to put it in a book. He even cured me of this really bad rash that was gonna kill me� So I was like “woah that’s crazy man� and I was super stoked to find out more because, let’s be honest, how often do you get to read a book from a god? So I was like “I cant wait for the moon god to give me cool stuff to write about� but then he said it was only a one time thing and he only talks to him. But it’s alright. I know he’s like super busy doing moon god things. But the guy I know said I cant just ignore all this stuff, I gotta follow it and do exactly what he says.

So I read this book thing and he said really awesome stuff. Like this one time Moon God was like I want some light so he made it and then he got bored again and made the earth and people and stuff like in an instant by rubbing two giant sticks together. Like way faster than a few days so obviously this God’s the real thing. Then he gave me a bunch of rules like not stealing and don’t rape chicks and stuff so I was like oh man that makes so much sense now! Before Moon God told me all of these things I had no idea what was right or wrong. But now I know. I mean he didn’t answer all my questions but I just figure Moon God was like whatevs, I don’t have the time to answer all your bs thoughts. Which is totally cool cause he’s Moon God and he does what he wants.

But what makes Moon God so true is that he even explains why he’s real, which makes him super legit. He said I gotta stop listening to all outside naysayers just believe in what the Moon God says and it’ll all be real chill. Things make so much more sense now! Ever since I stopped listening to all those facts and science, it’s really made everything really simple. Thank you Moon God.

But sometimes it’s super hard though! I have to make all these really tough decisions like doing what I want to do and doing what Moon God tells me to do. He has some pretty strict rules but I gotta follow em or he gets like really angry at me and everything gets super bad. Like this one time my daughter was like dying and my mom was all like you gotta take her to the doctor, but I said hell no! Moon God said I can’t heal her because if she was supposed to be healed then moon god woulda done it already. He cured that one dude who wrote and sells all those books cuz he’s like super good and everything so maybe she shoulda thought of being a better person before she got a malignant tumor. Geesh you’d think a 5 year old coulda been a little nicer. I mean it's all clearly written down in the Moon Book. You'd think people would understand that it explains EVERYTHING in the universe perfectly.

So anyways I’ve started telling everyone about Moon God cuz he’s made so many things better and everyone has to believe in him. And whenever I wanna do something that’s fun I just think what would Moon God say and I never do it! Things are great! I even got a bunch of people together and collected a bunch of money and gave it all to Tim that dude that told me all about Moon God, cuz he said that’s what Moon God would have wanted. So now we all hang out together and talk about Moon God. Except the women though. They have to make us food and can’t talk cuz that’s how Moon God wants it. It’s better we don’t question it or bad stuffs goin down for sure. But it’s still a blast and I can’t wait to hang out with Moon God and my daughter when I get to Moon heaven.

But I keep telling everyone about him and no one listens! Everyone I talk to about Moon God says I'm wrong and I'm being totally stupid for believing in it. They're all like you're believing in this circular logic thingy and they're all like that's not the real God. You gotta believe in this Jesus guy. That's what's real. And I keep telling them no man, it's all about the moon god. If only they would read the Moon book they'd totally get it. Why is my religion wrong? I don't understand!

[JayDeist]

I can't wait to hear what I'm supposed to do, and give my money to Tim!

This was a great post, and awesome use of satire, I loved it!

[Question Everything]

don’t rape chicks

That makes him better than the God of the Old Testament, in my opinion.

[sarabellum]

Hehe...

Well made point...(IMO)

Go with the Moon God!

Result may vary!