Marriage vows, for Christians or anybody.

[ThePainefulTruth]

What is the purpose of the oath of fidelity in marriage? To insure that they love one another until death? Can you promise to feel the same about them for the rest of your life no matter how carefully you vetted each other. No, though many do, as I did. And few object to divorce in a childless marriage, which often happens because there are no children.

The purpose of fidelity is for the strength of the family, and that's applicable even for empty-nesters. Adults get over a breakup, but children seldom do, they're the ones that pay the price for adult---ery.

[connermt]

[Replying to post 1 by ThePainefulTruth]

What is the purpose of the oath of fidelity in marriage?

Probably nothing more than the oath itself to be said in front of people; to prove a point.
Why the whole marriage ceremony at all?
It all seems kinda' silly unless you're a woman who is all about the ceremony itself.

[ThePainefulTruth]

[Replying to post 1 by ThePainefulTruth]

What is the purpose of the oath of fidelity in marriage?

Probably nothing more than the oath itself to be said in front of people; to prove a point.
Why the whole marriage ceremony at all?
It all seems kinda' silly unless you're a woman who is all about the ceremony itself.

But it's more often the man that breaks the oath. Do you think a significant number of people are merely saying it for forms sake and don't mean it, like the one third that end up in divorce court? A lot of marriages endure infidelity. Should open marriage be more common? At least it would be more honest.

[Bede]

[Replying to post 1 by ThePainefulTruth]



In my understanding a marriage is a covenant. The vows are the terms of the covenant, or at least a summary of them.

Promising love and fidelity to death gives security, especially to the woman, who (certainly in older times) was reliant on the man for support through the childbearing, rearing and old age.

In ancient covenants, two people making a covenant became “one life�.

In Christianity marriage images the intimate relationship between the Church (the bride) and Christ.

[ThePainefulTruth]

[Replying to post 1 by ThePainefulTruth]



In my understanding a marriage is a covenant. The vows are the terms of the covenant, or at least a summary of them.

Yes, but have the vows become perfunctory, necessary for form, and not taken seriously by many people? Have integrity and character become nothing more than barriers to a happiness we don't know how to define?

Promising love and fidelity to death gives security, especially to the woman, who (certainly in older times) was reliant on the man for support through the childbearing, rearing and old age.

But now women are more independent with their infidelities rapidly catching up with men.

[Bede]

[Replying to post 1 by ThePainefulTruth]



In my understanding a marriage is a covenant. The vows are the terms of the covenant, or at least a summary of them.

Yes, but have the vows become perfunctory, necessary for form, and not taken seriously by many people? Have integrity and character become nothing more than barriers to a happiness we don't know how to define?

That's a sweeping claim. It may be true in the secular world but the Catholic Church, at least, tries to teach people they are serious and marriage is life long committment.

Are you suggesting marriage vows are scrapped and people just promise to live together until they get bored and find somebody else?

[ThePainefulTruth]

[Replying to post 1 by ThePainefulTruth]



In my understanding a marriage is a covenant. The vows are the terms of the covenant, or at least a summary of them.

Yes, but have the vows become perfunctory, necessary for form, and not taken seriously by many people? Have integrity and character become nothing more than barriers to a happiness we don't know how to define?

That's a sweeping claim. It may be true in the secular world but the Catholic Church, at least, tries to teach people they are serious and marriage is life long committment.

Are you suggesting marriage vows are scrapped and people just promise to live together until they get bored and find somebody else?

Well, it's a question, not a claim. But it is an observation that given the proliferation of divorce that maybe vows either aren't taken seriously when they're made, or they easily dismissed when they interfere with their personal happiness vs. the well-being of the family. A likely scenario is that the authority under which they make their vows becomes less and less relevant or believable as they see their faith clash with what the see the world really is. The supernatural is an emotional crutch they cling to but which is disintegrating.

[Bede]

[Replying to post 7 by ThePainefulTruth]



Maybe we need to do what they do in some countries - seperate marriage as a state contract from marriage as a religious committment.

Then people have a state contract without any vows, and if they have regious beliefs they make religious vows in a seperate religious ceremony.

[ThePainefulTruth]

[Replying to post 7 by ThePainefulTruth]



Maybe we need to do what they do in some countries - seperate marriage as a state contract from marriage as a religious committment.

Then people have a state contract without any vows, and if they have regious beliefs they make religious vows in a seperate religious ceremony.

I don't think religion makes that much difference in how well vows are kept or not. Integrity and character are the determinants, and those who possess those qualities are just as likely to be religious as not. I think the general acceptance of open marriages would go a lot further toward maintaining the integrity of the family, but jealousy and paternity issues would have to be worked out in advance. Obviously it's not for everybody, and I certainly wouldn't have been a candidate, (ahem).

[99percentatheism]

ThePainefulTruth

What is the purpose of the oath of fidelity in marriage?

What "oath?" I have never seen an "oath" for Christian marriage written in the New Testament. But "fidelity?" That is for honesty, respect, dignity and holiness.

To insure that they love one another until death?

That looks to be the structure.

Can you promise to feel the same about them for the rest of your life no matter how carefully you vetted each other.

Yes.

No, though many do, as I did. And few object to divorce in a childless marriage, which often happens because there are no children.

You did what?

The purpose of fidelity is for the strength of the family, and that's applicable even for empty-nesters.

What? Fidelity is for honesty. But are you talking about a Christian marriage or something else?

Adults get over a breakup, but children seldom do, they're the ones that pay the price for adult---ery.

Children into their adult years bear the burden for the dishonesty, disrespect, indignity and unholiness of the choice of either one or both of their parents to not keep fidelity in its proper place. But dishonesty and unholiness usually stay on track and arrives at the same destination.