Guidelines for Christian Evangelism and Apologetics

[Jagella]

Get the ball rolling.
Start out your religion in times of great turmoil and in places where people are oppressed and yearning for freedom. They'll be searching for hope, and you can tell them that your religion can fulfill that hope.

Don't reinvent the wheel.
There's plenty of age-old religious beliefs out there you can "borrow" to use in your own religion. Just put your own spin on those beliefs and repackage them as "new." "Give us that old-time religion!"

Get it in writing.
Oral transmission of your beliefs is OK to start, but you'll eventually need a book to preserve your beliefs. Fill that book with old stories as well as your own tales. Make it lllooonnnggg! Fill it with strange and dark stories along with rules against harmless activities. Make sure it has many paradoxes and ambiguities to keep people confused and fighting over what it says. That way you can slip out of any criticism of your religion by telling the critic they don't understand your book!

Dangle the carrot.
People want to be blessed and rewarded. Offer them great things like eternal life in paradise if they believe what you 're saying.

Scare 'em!
If dangling the carrot isn't enough to entice people into your religion, then tell them that if they don't believe you, they will suffer a horrible fate. Make that fate as terrible as you can saying it's extremely painful and never-ending. Fear can be a great motivator.

Lay a guilt trip on 'em.
Make people feel guilty for their basic normal urges like sex. Tell them they're bad and will be punished for even thinking about sex. Tell them that the "savior" of your religion died for their committing all those sins and that they need to show appreciation.

Get 'em when they're old.
Elderly people make great converts. They're often hurting and lonely, and you can offer them "hope" in return for their savings which they're not going to be needing long anyway.

Get 'em when they're young.
Kids are very impressionable and might believe anything an adult says. They are more likely to believe wild stories than adults are and are more likely to believe what you tell them. Besides, the little kids cannot choose their own religions, now can they?

Get 'em when they're sick.
You might snag a lot of ill people who are looking for cures. Tell them that with your God nothing is impossible, and he can cure any sickness. Call any apparent healing a "miracle." If no cure is forthcoming, then either blame the sick person for lacking true faith or say it isn't your God's will.

Get 'em!
The more converts the better. There is indeed strength in numbers, and you want to achieve as large a majority as you can. It doesn't matter who they are or what they've done. They can be the scum of the earth. As long as they're human and alive, you'll want them as converts.

Kill 'em.
Sad to say, some people just won't convert to your religion. Such persons need to be eliminated so as not to impact the faith of your followers. Organize persecutions to take these people into custody, torture them, and then execute them. Make these executions as horrible as you can and in public as a warning to all other trouble-makers.

Mop up.
Needless to say, all of this is going to cause major troubles. With all the harm done in the wake of your religion, you'll need defenders of the faith. Call these defenders "apologists." Have them earn advanced degrees in philosophy and dress them in nice suits. Train them as professional debaters who can out-talk any skeptic in a public debate. That way the faithful might just go on believing!

Are these guidelines appropriate for preserving Christianity?

[peterk]

[Replying to post 1 by Jagella]

All I can really say is that this summary bears no relationship at all to my understanding of Christianity. Nor would it be the way that I would package Christianity to a non-Christian.

[otseng]

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Moved to Random Ramblings. Please review the Rules and Tips on starting a debate topic.

[OnceConvinced]

[Replying to post 1 by Jagella]

All I can really say is that this summary bears no relationship at all to my understanding of Christianity. Nor would it be the way that I would package Christianity to a non-Christian.

I dare say, if you were the founder of Christianity and weren't applying those guidelines, Christianity wouldn't have lasted long. It would have all been over by 100AD

Many of those guidelines seem like tactics used by modern day evangelists to me and I've seen and heard a lot of them (and I live in the same country as you). Sure, the killing doesn't happen anymore, but it did in bible days.

[OnceConvinced]

[Replying to post 1 by Jagella]

All I can really say is that this summary bears no relationship at all to my understanding of Christianity..

It seems that you have ignored much of the bible:

Get the ball rolling.
There was huge turmoil at the time Jesus existed and Paul too for that matter. We can see that in the NT

Don't reinvent the wheel.
Many of the teachings of Jesus may well have been taken from Buddhism.

Get it in writing.
Thus the bible, which according to Christians is the word of God and the most important book ever.

Dangle the carrot.
Jesus definitely dangled the carrot!

Mat 5:12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven…
Luke 6:23 Rejoice in that day and leap for joy! For indeed your reward is great in heaven…


Scare 'em!
Jesus certainly employed scare tactics:

Luke 12:5 But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear Him who, after He has killed, has power to cast into hell; yes, I say to you, fear Him!

Matt 7:19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire.

Mat 13:42 and will cast them into the furnace of fire. There will be wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Mat 25:41 Then He will also say to those on the left hand, Depart from Me, you cursed, into the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels

John 15:6 If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned.

Mat 10:33 But whoever denies Me before men, him I will also deny before My Father who is in heaven.

Mark 11:26 But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.

Matt 5:29 If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.


Lay a guilt trip on 'em.

Most sermons from evangelists and preachers are full of guilt trips and even Jesus was guilty of it to a certain extent:

John 8:7 He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her�

Mark 12:42-44 Jesus lays a guilt trip on those who looked down their nose at the woman who gave only a few coins.

Matt 19:13-15 Jesus lays a guilt trip on the disciples for trying to turn the children away.

Mat 10:33 But whoever denies Me before men, him I will also deny before My Father who is in heaven.

Mark 11:26 But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.

Mark 9:43 If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter into life maimed, rather than having two hands, to go to hell, into the fire that shall never be quenched.


Get 'em when they're young.

Evangelists and churches certainly target children in a big way. These verses pretty much tell them they should:

Matt 18:3
And he said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.


Get 'em!

One of Jesus’s main commands was to go out and preach the gospel. Churches main mission is to gain converts. It's certainly one of the main goals of evangelists?

Kill 'em.
The bible certainly does insist that those of other religions should be killed:

Death to Followers of Other Religions (Exodus 22:19, Deuteronomy 13:7-12)
Kill Nonbelievers (2 Chronicles 15:12-13)
Kill the Entire Town if One Person Worships Another God (Deuteronomy 13:13-19)

Jesus ultimately will kill you if you reject him (or at least command his angels to:

Matthew 13:40-42: "Just as the weeds are separated out and burned, so it will be at the end of the world. I, the Son of Man, will send my angels, and they will remove from my Kingdom everything that causes sin and all who do evil, and they will throw them into the furnace and burn them. There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."

Luke 19:27 - But those enemies of mine who did not want me to be king over them—bring them here and kill them in front of me."