Why So Many Leave the Christian Faith

[Jagella]

Question for Debate: If Christianity makes credible claims and "transforms lives" for the better, then why do so many people leave the faith?

There's nothing new about people converting to Christianity only to revert to the thinking and practices that made up their lives prior to their conversions. In Matthew 13:1-9 Jesus preaches his "Parable of the Sower." This parable confused the disciples, and Jesus then explained it in Matthew 13:19-23 (NRSV):

When anyone hears the word of the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what is sown in the heart; this is what was sown on the path. As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy; yet such a person has no root, but endures only for a while, and when trouble or persecution arises on account of the word, that person immediately falls away. As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but the cares of the world and the lure of wealth choke the word, and it yields nothing. But as for what was sown on good soil, this is the one who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.

So to summarize, we are given three reasons why people convert to Christianity and then leave it:

• 1. They cannot understand Christian faith and are confused by it.
  2. Christian faith can cause trouble for the convert and can even be dangerous for the convert.
  3. Christian faith can become difficult or impossible to retain for practical reasons or financial reasons.

I think that these reasons do loom large in Christians abandoning the faith, and this abandonment of the faith has become known as "apostacy." Apostates are those Christians who "fall away" from Christianity.

I am an apostate. I left the Christian religion for the reasons listed above. However, the Parable of the Sower doesn't cover all the bases. I had other reasons for leaving the faith including seeing little if any truth in it. I'm an honest man who values his personal integrity, and I won't be a phony. I'm not going to to deliberately and knowingly spread falsehoods. As such, I could not remain a Christian.

[Zzyzx]

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Do you claim to have once have been a sincere Christian?

Absolutely not.

I would regard myself as very naive and gullible if I had believed the fantasy tales. Even as a child of eight or ten, I questioned the sanity and judgment of adults who told such tall tales as though they were true. That has not changed or wavered in the seventy years since.

[JehovahsWitness]

Even as a child of eight or ten, I questioned the sanity and judgment of adults who told such tall tales as though they were true. That has not changed or wavered in the seventy years since.

Or so you CLAIM. However ...

People may CLAIM (in testimonials) anything that comes into their head; however, unless they verify the claim with evidence, it is just ‘blowing smoke’ – or telling tales of personal subjective experience

... wouldn't you agree?


JW

[Zzyzx]

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[Replying to post 62 by JehovahsWitness]

Do you challenge my claim of having rejected Christianity?

[janavoss]

Just from my own observation, the 3 main reasons people leave Christianity are:
1. They get hurt by a person, group, or church practice.
2. They become discouraged about a life situation that is not changing despite them trying to be faithful, and give up.
3. They are involved in some kind of sin that they don't want to quit.

It seems like there are several people on this forum who used to be Christians (or something else) but abandoned their faith after studying and questioning for a period of time. I think that it's likely those people are the kind that would be here, because they have put a lot of time and effort into examining what they used to believe. They have something to say.
The people that leave for the reasons I listed, I wouldn't expect to see on this site. They are more likely to avoid any contact with religion for a while IMO.

[Jagella]

It's all very well to say "We are all in unity. We all preach the same thing. We all believe the same thing." But when you belong to an exclusive club like that, anyone who doesn't believe the same thing is quickly given the flick. It's only an illusion of unity.

I'd call that a "culled unity." Groups like the Jehovah's Witnesses cull-out all avowed dissenters, and what's left over is presumably a unified group. The Watchtower could play its cards differently by supporting doctrine and practices that might unify people who find much to agree on. Doing it that way, though, would probably decrease the power of the Watchtower which it cannot tolerate.

In New Zealand most Christians I come across tend to be quite liberal, so they don't treat me any differently. In fact people know me here. They know I'm not a bad guy. Many know how genuine I was as a Christian so would never ever suggest I was a fraud. For them, they scratch their heads wondering how it could possibly be I am no longer a believer. It dumbfounds them.

So the Christians in New Zealand are "liberal" yet have little knowledge of why some Christians leave the faith. I've heard that liberal Christians have limits to their liberality. They're open-minded but only to a point.

They don't know just how genuine I was in my belief. I tell myself they are grasping at these straws because deep down they are afraid they too could become like me. Just like St Paul was also afraid he could become an apostate. {I Corinthians 9:27)

Many Christians are no doubt haunted by the possibility that they may lose their faith. I've heard some Christians say they struggle with doubt. Why would anybody struggle with doubt? Generally, doubt is good because it protects us from being deceived or mistaken. Doubt is something that should be embraced. To resist it like some Christians do is foolish and dangerous.

[Jagella]

They get hurt by a person, group, or church practice.

I'm sure some people leave Christianity because they are hurt by some segment of Christianity. I am not one of them. I foolishly remained Christian despite the hurt. It wasn't until I used logic to scrutinize the Bible that I finally realized that Christianity was a farce.

At any rate, it's only common sense to avoid what you know is hurtful. Christian evangelists often push people to go against this common sense and remain in the church. If evangelists really cared about people, then they would encourage people to get out if they're being hurt.

They become discouraged about a life situation that is not changing despite them trying to be faithful, and give up.

Many people see God as a protector, a provider, and a savior. If they see no reason to maintain this belief, then they correctly conclude that there is no God.

They are involved in some kind of sin that they don't want to quit.

If God is real, then I think he would be much more attractive than any sin. To me it's a bizarre notion to think that some people prefer "booze and brauds" over God.

The people that leave for the reasons I listed, I wouldn't expect to see on this site. They are more likely to avoid any contact with religion for a while IMO.

Although my final decision to leave the church was not based on any of your criteria, I have experienced 1 and 2. Christianity does hurt a lot of people, and if often fails to help.

[Jagella]

I believe the most common reason is that it is easier without it. For example, it doesn’t require anything to be an atheist, but to be a Christian, it can have a price.

I agree with you here. Atheism is easier than Christianity, at least for me. Atheism is free while Christianity as you say can be very expensive.

For me the reason to be a Christian is the teachings of Jesus. I think they are good and I don’t want to reject them. If I would think the teaching is bad or wrong, I would reject Christianity.

The doctrines attributed to Christ may appear superficially to be good. However, upon deeper examination they are exposed to be bad indeed. To be free of such foolhardy injunctions is a very good reason to leave Christianity.

[Difflugia]

Just from my own observation, the 3 main reasons people leave Christianity are:
1. They get hurt by a person, group, or church practice.
2. They become discouraged about a life situation that is not changing despite them trying to be faithful, and give up.
3. They are involved in some kind of sin that they don't want to quit.

Of these three, the only one that I've ever personally encountered is number 1.

Number 2 doesn't happen even when it should because people that are already that invested keep blaming themselves when it doesn't work.

I've never seen a situation where number 3 happened by any objective standard. I've seen situations where other people claim that's what happened ("...she said she left because of X, but it was really because of..."). I think claims of number 3 are ways to deal with the cognitive dissonance of a member leaving, but by those that didn't leave. It's a way of "othering" the ones that leave to avoid having to engage with whatever their real reasons are.

The reason that seems most likely in my experience is just boring old differences over doctrine. For mild differences, people change churches, but most people I know that have left the faith altogether left because they couldn't reconcile some broad Christian doctrine with their own views about God. These people tend to remain theists, but a lot of them almost immediately ditch the weirdest parts of Christianity (virgin birth, physical resurrection) and become "good people go to heaven" theists. I've also witnessed a lot of people in this camp later go back to the faith, but in more liberal churches. I think many of these get put into your category 3 by those that don't leave, especially now when many younger people are leaving the faith over a particular church's approach to LBGTQ issues.

And you can put me in the camp of Christians that became atheist after Bible study. I wasn't raised in a church, though, so I became a Christian as a teenager without the benefit of the early conditioning and I'm pretty sure that made a huge difference. I was told that the Bible was the Word of God, so I read it fanatically. Then I tried to figure out what was wrong with me that it didn't seem like it could possibly be the Word of God, so I became steeped in apologetics. I finally realized that the Bible wasn't the Word of God, but by that time had become so fascinated by the Bible as it is, as a human document, that I never gave that up.

[Jagella]

Maybe we should define what it means to be a Christian. Being a Christian means being born again, that is, that one's spirit that was once dead in sin is brought alive in Christ. It's impossible to be "unborn" spiritually just as it is impossible to be "unborn" physically.

If I was wrong about my being "born again," then I see no reason why other people might be wrong about being born again. Anybody can be wrong about that--even you, OC!

Being a Christian means being in a personal relationship with God through the person of Jesus Christ by the infilling of the Holy Spirit. One can leave a relationship with Jesus, but he can't pretend there was no relationship in the first place if he was truly once in one.

When I was a Christian, I believed I had a personal relationship with God and Jesus. Since I later realized that I was deluded, I see no reason why others are not also so deluded into thinking they have a relationship with Jesus.

So there are born-again Spirit-filled Christians. There are nominal Christians who, by definition, are Christians in name only, but not in fact.

I wonder which group you think you belong to.

Personally, I have seen people walk away from God because they were angry with God re: tragedy in their lives or they belonged to a legalistic church that made religion an ugly chore or they wanted to commit a sin such as living with their girlfriend or leaving their wife for another woman and, because the church said that was bad, they chose to leave the church so they could live as they wanted to. I have known people in these categories.

It's a basic human reaction to be angry with those we believe have failed us, and "ugly chores" are not something we want to do. On the other hand, people are driven to have sex. So based on what you've posted here, you see Christianity as in opposition to natural human feelings and desires.

Many people who start to have doubts tend to read only that material that feeds those doubts, never anything that can build their faith, which suggests to me that they really want to leave and are looking for justification to do so. They tend to hide behind "intellectual" reasons. They think that will legitimize their leaving -- in their own eyes at least.

It's very common for people to rationalize their actions if they have an ulterior motive. However, ulterior motives are irrelevant to truth and reason. No matter what a person's motivation may be, they may still be right in what they say. So if I want to leave Christianity because I'd rather look at porn, I can still use sound reason to conclude that the major dogmas of Christianity are false.

As far as reading choices are concerned, I've possibly read more material written by Christians than by doubters.

In conclusion, you mentioned that you suspect that atheists have a hidden agenda and posted a link to some apologists who believe we have such an agenda. If you can see atheists as possibly having a hidden agenda, then why not see Christians the same way? What makes you so sure that Christians are being sincere?

[Zzyzx]

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Perhaps it would be prudent to consult Frank Viola, American author, speaker, and blogger on Christian topics. In an article in Christian Leaders he gives an insider’s view of why Christians leave. https://churchleaders.com/outreach-miss ... faith.html

1. The horrible, disgusting, nasty way that Christians treat one another in-person and online.

2. The canned, superficial answers they had been given to complicated questions.

3. They met a God who didn’t meet their expectations..

4. The stupidity and ignorance of so many Christians.

5. Failure to live up to the gospel of legalism.

6. They loved the world more than Christ.

7. The cares of this life choked the (spiritual) life out of them.