Noah and the Unicorns

[ThatGirlAgain]

But maybe this is what happened to the unicorns:
As soon as the boat settled on land, Noah cut some of it up to make a fire, and chose the most beautiful animals to sacrifice to the LORD.

Or maybe this…

[ThatGirlAgain]

And I thought this was going to be a lighthearted thread about the extermination of most of the life on Earth...silly me.

Have to get back on track...

When the flood waters receded and the Ark came to rest, Noah told all the animals to go forth and multiply. But the snakes came to him and said, "We cannot multiply for we are only adders." Noah told them, "Go ye onto the rough wooden platform whereon I and my family are accustomed to take our meals." The snakes did so and, lo, in the fullness of time they had many young.

For even adders can multiply on a log table.



An oldie but a...

Well an oldie anyway.

[connermt]

And I thought this was going to be a lighthearted thread about the extermination of most of the life on Earth...silly me.

Have to get back on track...

When the flood waters receded and the Ark came to rest, Noah told all the animals to go forth and multiply. But the snakes came to him and said, "We cannot multiply for we are only adders." Noah told them, "Go ye onto the rough wooden platform whereon I and my family are accustomed to take our meals." The snakes did so and, lo, in the fullness of time they had many young.

For even adders can multiply on a log table.



An oldie but a...

Well an oldie anyway.

Very good!

[Thatguy]

But maybe this is what happened to the unicorns:
As soon as the boat settled on land, Noah cut some of it up to make a fire, and chose the most beautiful animals to sacrifice to the LORD.

Or maybe this…

I know it's supposed to be just a random rambling and lighthearted. But that cartoon was supposed to be lighthearted and, as a child, I would stare at it often, overcome by sadness for the poor unicorns, thinking about how if they'd only been a little faster or Noah had waited a little longer... It's possible that my eventual atheism arose subconsciously as a pro-unicorn rebellion.

But now you've got me wondering this: How many unicorns would have been on the ark if unicorns had been on the ark?

Were unicorns clean or unclean? Now I know we don't know enough about unicorn biology to determine if they were kosher or not. But then I got to wondering how Noah knew which animals were clean and which were unclean if the laws of kosher had not yet been published in the Bible? Does the fact that Noah was expected to know clean from unclean mean that the difference is fundamental and thus something that Christians should be bound to follow? If it was known to Noah it wasn't just a law created specifically for the Jews. Maybe this isn't the right section to be discussing the weighty, serious issue of unicorn meat.

[ThatGirlAgain]

I know it's supposed to be just a random rambling and lighthearted. But that cartoon was supposed to be lighthearted and, as a child, I would stare at it often, overcome by sadness for the poor unicorns, thinking about how if they'd only been a little faster or Noah had waited a little longer... It's possible that my eventual atheism arose subconsciously as a pro-unicorn rebellion.

If only they could have been like this.

But now you've got me wondering this: How many unicorns would have been on the ark if unicorns had been on the ark?

Were unicorns clean or unclean? Now I know we don't know enough about unicorn biology to determine if they were kosher or not. But then I got to wondering how Noah knew which animals were clean and which were unclean if the laws of kosher had not yet been published in the Bible? Does the fact that Noah was expected to know clean from unclean mean that the difference is fundamental and thus something that Christians should be bound to follow? If it was known to Noah it wasn't just a law created specifically for the Jews. Maybe this isn't the right section to be discussing the weighty, serious issue of unicorn meat.

You are tempting me to do a thread about the two interleaved Flood stories in Genesis.

And I do not have the time to do it right…

Maybe the next lottery ticket…

[bluethread]

[

But now you've got me wondering this: How many unicorns would have been on the ark if unicorns had been on the ark?

Were unicorns clean or unclean? Now I know we don't know enough about unicorn biology to determine if they were kosher or not. But then I got to wondering how Noah knew which animals were clean and which were unclean if the laws of kosher had not yet been published in the Bible? Does the fact that Noah was expected to know clean from unclean mean that the difference is fundamental and thus something that Christians should be bound to follow? If it was known to Noah it wasn't just a law created specifically for the Jews. Maybe this isn't the right section to be discussing the weighty, serious issue of unicorn meat.

Well, there is more than one way to interpret "unclean". "Clean" means fit for a purpose. So, it is context driven. The reference to "clean" animals in the account of Noach does indicate a preexistant covenant that Moshe' chronicled, in my opinion. However, whether Adonai was refering to animals fit for consumption or animals fit for sacrifice is not clear. However, the general referance to a unicorn as a horned horse, would make them "unclean" for both purposes.

With regard to the unicorn in general, I am of the opinion that it is a fabrication. Much like the manatee probably gave rise to the mermaid, so I think the existance of various horned animals gave rise to the idea of the unicorn.

[Thatguy]

Well, there is more than one way to interpret "unclean". "Clean" means fit for a purpose. So, it is context driven. The reference to "clean" animals in the account of Noach does indicate a preexistant covenant that Moshe' chronicled, in my opinion. However, whether Adonai was refering to animals fit for consumption or animals fit for sacrifice is not clear. However, the general referance to a unicorn as a horned horse, would make them "unclean" for both purposes.

With regard to the unicorn in general, I am of the opinion that it is a fabrication. Much like the manatee probably gave rise to the mermaid, so I think the existance of various horned animals gave rise to the idea of the unicorn.

I hadn't thought about a distinction between suitable for eating and clean for sacrificing. Is there one? Are there animals that are acceptable sacrifices that are not permitted to be eaten? I should probably not make you do all my work for me and should look it up myself. My guess would be that we sacrifice that which we value for ourselves. Both because we tend to project what we want onto God, assuming it's what he wants, too, and also because a sacrifice doesn't mean nearly as much if it's something you had no use for anyway. I'd be happy to sacrifice animal kidneys every day, but if God's there he knows that it's no real sacrifice coming from me.

[bluethread]

I hadn't thought about a distinction between suitable for eating and clean for sacrificing. Is there one? Are there animals that are acceptable sacrifices that are not permitted to be eaten? I should probably not make you do all my work for me and should look it up myself. My guess would be that we sacrifice that which we value for ourselves. Both because we tend to project what we want onto God, assuming it's what he wants, too, and also because a sacrifice doesn't mean nearly as much if it's something you had no use for anyway. I'd be happy to sacrifice animal kidneys every day, but if God's there he knows that it's no real sacrifice coming from me.

It is more like the other way around. There are things that are clean to eat, but not to sacrifice. Your guess is based on an anthropomorphic approach. I do not believe that is the biblical reasoning. By the way, yes, the kidneys are sacrificed and not to be eaten, along with the gut fat.

[greentwiga]

I thought the original post was proposing unicornitarianism, not uniformitarianism.

[ThatGirlAgain]

I thought the original post was proposing unicornitarianism, not uniformitarianism.

Correct. Evolution was sometimes punctuated by that horn.

You may also recall the crowds at Bill Graham events holding up their index fingers and chanting "One Horn".

At least I think that is what they were chanting.

[greentwiga]

One look at the picture and you can see that unicorns were clean to the max. I don't know if it was meet to eat unicorn meat, but I do know you couldn't eat unicorn meat boiled in male unicorn's milk. Anti-evolution was also punctuated by that horn.

By the way, I found agnosticism dull boring and grey. It is a lot more fun being a born again Christian.