Daily laugh

FinalEnigma · Post by **FinalEnigma** » Thu Feb 19, 2009 4:00 pm

Everybody likes to laugh, so I thought I'd amuse myself by starting a thread with the purpose of just posting whatever funny things you come across to brighten others' days just a little bit. So feel free to post away. it can be jokes, pictures, funny stories, anything that makes you laugh.

McCulloch · Post by **McCulloch** » Sun Jul 28, 2013 4:22 pm

Irony happens when someone on the Internet says, "Your a moron!"

JoeyKnothead · Post by **JoeyKnothead** » Wed Aug 14, 2013 11:15 pm

Sorry, the link failed, but if you coulda seen it, you'da been mildly amused.

Darias · Post by **Darias** » Wed Aug 14, 2013 11:27 pm

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Tired of the Nonsense · Wed Aug 14, 2013 11:51 pm

I was doing a home project a few months ago which led me to go to the hardware store. As I was wandering about looking for my items I noticed a particular router.

"That's the router I bought for uncle Bill for his birthday," I rather idly thought to myself as I passed by. And then it dawned on me; that was last year. It was almost uncle Bill's birthday again. But uncle Bill loves him some tools, so I was in the right place to shop for something for him as well as the items I needed myself.

Unfortunately, later as I headed to the check out with all of the items I needed for my project, I still had not seen anything that I knew uncle Bill did not all ready have. But as I stood in line, I noticed a stack of boxes and a sign.

"TOILET BRUSHES WITH CADDY IN DESIGNER COLORS," it read.

The perfect thing I thought to myself. My uncle Bill is a life-long bachelor, and I am not certain that uncle Bill had ever even considered the necessity of a toilet brush for his toilet before. It was the perfect gift for MANY reasons.

A few days later I presented the toilet brush and caddy to my uncle Bill for his birthday.

"Happy Birthday uncle Bill. And many happy returns."

Several weeks later I happened to run into uncle Bill at the local mall. During the course of our chat I happened to remember the toilet brush I had given him for his birthday.

"Say uncle Bill," I asked, "how's that toilet brush I got you for your birthday working out?"

Uncle Bill got a pained look on his face.

"Well, I have to be honest with you. I believe I would rather use toilet paper," he replied.

AdHoc · Post by **AdHoc** » Wed Aug 28, 2013 8:57 pm

[Replying to post 331 by Tired of the Nonsense]

Oh wow is that a true story? Haha

Danmark · Post by **Danmark** » Wed Aug 28, 2013 9:45 pm

AdHoc wrote: [Replying to post 331 by Tired of the Nonsense]

Oh wow is that a true story? Haha

=o) in the old days a corn cob would do.

I made myself laugh the other day. I went out on my property and cut a long, thick branch from a Russian olive tree and made a walking stick. The next week, I found a limb with an almost 90 degree turn, so I made a cane.

Then I laughed, thinking my next project may be to make my own coffin.

AdHoc · Post by **AdHoc** » Wed Aug 28, 2013 9:55 pm

Danmark wrote:
AdHoc wrote: [Replying to post 331 by Tired of the Nonsense]

Oh wow is that a true story? Haha
=o) in the old days a corn cob would do.

I made myself laugh the other day. I went out on my property and cut a long, thick branch from a Russian olive tree and made a walking stick. The next week, I found a limb with an almost 90 degree turn, so I made a cane.

Then I laughed, thinking my next project may be to make my own coffin.

You have a lot more projects to do before you get to that... How about a corn cob pipe?

Just make sure you get a fresh corn cob!

tariki · Post by **tariki** » Thu Aug 29, 2013 3:12 pm

Stop me if you've heard it......

A guy likes to go to the races and particularly likes seeing the horses led around the ring before each race. One day he is watching this when he spies a Catholic priest lean out in front of a horse and make a few arm gestures. He thinks little of it but remembers back to this when that particular horse wins the race.

As he watches the next parade he sees the same priest lean out once more, making his gestures. Again that horse wins the race!

"Ah ha!" the guy thinks, "I'm having some of this!"

As soon as he sees the priest lean out once more in front of one of the horses the guy runs off to the bookies and puts Â£100 on the nose for that horse to win.

At the third fence his horse falls, breaks a leg and needs to be put down. The guy is distraught, runs straight up to the priest, grabs him by the neck and cries out "What are you playing at? You made gestures at two of the horses, they both won, you did the same to a third, I bet a Â£100 on it and it has had to be shot!!!"

"Ah my son" said the priest, "I see that you are no Catholic."

"What do you mean?" the guy asks.

"Well" replied the priest, "if you were you would know the difference between a Blessing and the Last Rites."

Nickman · Post by **Nickman** » Fri Sep 06, 2013 1:38 pm

Clownboat · Post by **Clownboat** » Fri Sep 06, 2013 2:49 pm

Westboro Mingle!