Dad, mom ...I'm ...um, I'm gay

[KCKID]

The title/subtitle says it all. This scenario must have occurred many, many times. We've all heard, read or seen instances of this and the types of responses that parents of their gay children have given. While we only seem to have a handful of vocal anti-gay Christians on this forum, I'm genuinely curious as to how they would react if their son or daughter came to them and told them that they're gay. Others, feel free to offer your input.

The question again: How would you (a Christian) respond to your son or your daughter coming out to you that they are gay? Without revealing any more than you need to, has this actually happened to any of you ...either as a gay son/daughter or as a parent?

[Sir Hamilton]

The title/subtitle says it all. This scenario must have occurred many, many times. We've all heard, read or seen instances of this and the types of responses that parents of their gay children have given. While we only seem to have a handful of vocal anti-gay Christians on this forum, I'm genuinely curious as to how they would react if their son or daughter came to them and told them that they're gay. Others, feel free to offer your input.

The question again: How would you (a Christian) respond to your son or your daughter coming out to you that they are gay?

I would be disappointed and since they are my child then they would have known what i believed about homosexuality. I wouldn't have need of telling them how this lifestyle is sinful and rebellious to how the Creator intended mankind to live. I would tell them i love them and always will and will pray that they stop living that sinful lifestyle.

[Divine Insight]

When I was younger I was naive enough to believe that being homosexual could be a sin. But as I grew older and learned that homosexuality is a real part of life I began to realize that these people who are homosexuality can't possibly be sexually attracted to their own gender (or sex) simply because they want to be evil and rebel against God.

Clearly there had to be something more to it. And ironically it was my own personal distaste for homosexuality that convinced me of this. I have absolutely no desire to become sexually involved with another man. The very thought is absolutely disgusting to me. Therefore I could never be "tempted" to become homosexually involved with another man. This is what opened my eyes to the fact that it can't just be a normal type of "sin" that we must all refrain from.

I began to realize that these same-gender couples who sincerely want to be with each other intimately and share their lives to the point of even getting married has got to be something far greater than merely an "urge" to sin or to be rebellious toward some God.

Another thing that became clear as well is the fact that there are Gay people who passionately want to be "Christians" and worship the Christian God through Jesus. Clearly this is not a behavior of someone who is just doing something disgusting in order to rebel against some God.

The idea of homosexuality being a "sin" simply doesn't wash.

Of course, I came to the realization that Christianity itself doesn't wash even before I realized that homosexuals cannot be "sinners".

In fact, to be honest I can't understand why any Gay person would want to worship God through a religion that claims that God hates homosexuality. But the mere fact that many of them do seems to prove that they can't be "sinning against God" with any manner of intention.

And I'm one who doesn't believe in "Sinning by Accident". I personally don't buy into that mindset. The idea that a person could "Sin by Accident" would actually mean that decent people could "fall through the cracks" of God's system of judgments which is clearly absurd.

I guess the absurdities in this world are indeed profound.

But for me, the fact that Christians cannot possibly be true came first. The realization that homosexuality could not possibly be a sin was something I realized quite some time later.

There is simply no way that homosexual couples are attracted to each other simply because they want to rebel against the directives of some God.

Their attraction for each other is obviously real.

[Joab]

The title/subtitle says it all. This scenario must have occurred many, many times. We've all heard, read or seen instances of this and the types of responses that parents of their gay children have given. While we only seem to have a handful of vocal anti-gay Christians on this forum, I'm genuinely curious as to how they would react if their son or daughter came to them and told them that they're gay. Others, feel free to offer your input.

The question again: How would you (a Christian) respond to your son or your daughter coming out to you that they are gay?

I would be disappointed and since they are my child then they would have known what i believed about homosexuality. I wouldn't have need of telling them how this lifestyle is sinful and rebellious to how the Creator intended mankind to live. I would tell them i love them and always will and will pray that they stop living that sinful lifestyle.

Why wouldn't you hug him/her and reassure them that that is the way god made them and god can do no wrong?

[KCKID]

The title/subtitle says it all. This scenario must have occurred many, many times. We've all heard, read or seen instances of this and the types of responses that parents of their gay children have given. While we only seem to have a handful of vocal anti-gay Christians on this forum, I'm genuinely curious as to how they would react if their son or daughter came to them and told them that they're gay. Others, feel free to offer your input.

The question again: How would you (a Christian) respond to your son or your daughter coming out to you that they are gay?

I would be disappointed

Why? Is the life task of your son/daughter not to be who they are but simply not to disappoint you?

and since they are my child then they would have known what i believed about homosexuality.

What has 'their knowing what YOU believed about homosexuality' got to do with their BEING homosexual?

I wouldn't have need of telling them how this lifestyle is sinful and rebellious to how the Creator intended mankind to live.

Do YOU live according to the myriad of commands and instructions 'to mankind' as given by 'the Creator' in the Old Testament? I would say, "No way!" So ...why would your son/daughter be held to the myriad of commands and instructions as given in the OT that YOU don't keep? Isn't that somewhat hypocritical?

I would tell them i love them and always will and will pray that they stop living that sinful lifestyle.

What if, as often happens, your prayers are unanswered ...? Do you eventually accept them 'as is'? Or, are the words from a book that you've been led to believe condemn homosexuality more important than your son/daughter?

[dianaiad]

The title/subtitle says it all. This scenario must have occurred many, many times. We've all heard, read or seen instances of this and the types of responses that parents of their gay children have given. While we only seem to have a handful of vocal anti-gay Christians on this forum, I'm genuinely curious as to how they would react if their son or daughter came to them and told them that they're gay. Others, feel free to offer your input.

The question again: How would you (a Christian) respond to your son or your daughter coming out to you that they are gay? Without revealing any more than you need to, has this actually happened to any of you ...either as a gay son/daughter or as a parent?

I notice that, when someone responded honestly to you, you went into full bore attack mode...and you need to think about your post. There is a difference between saying 'I'm attracted to people of my own sex,' and "Mom, Dad, because I'm attracted to my own sex, I'm going to throw everything you've ever taught me about morality, honor and pure medical self defense and have sex with anybody who winks at me."

You are equating 'homosexual desires" with 'the homosexual lifestyle." What the heck IS that, anyway? What does a gay person do when living a 'homosexual lifestyle' that a heterosexual does not do--except when dealing with matters of sexual intercourse? Seems to me that there is nothing about being attracted to one's own sex that removes one's ability to choose what one DOES about that attraction.

Personally, I taught my children that sex was too important an aspect of any relationship to spend it like it was pocket change; wait for the 'right' person and marry him/her first. I never regretted doing it that way...and I would be exactly as saddened by a heterosexual child having sex with multiple partners as I would a homosexual child doing the same thing, and for precisely the same reason.

For me it would be harder, because my own belief system teaches that marriage can be eternal, and that it must be between opposite sexes; men and women complete each other as a team in a way that same sex partners simply cannot, in an eternal sense. However, that's my belief system. Those who do not believe as I do need to find their own ideas. A child of mine who goes against those teachings (whether homosexual or heterosexual) breaks my heart--but doesn't lose my love, or my participation in his/her life. Whether s/he likes that part or not.

[JoeyKnothead]

From the OP:

How would you ... respond to your son or your daughter coming out to you that they are gay?

Eeeew, I don't wanna know that! You don't have a sex life, and I don't ever wanna hear tell of it again. Them young'ns of yours was bought down there at the five and dime, just like we bought you. Unless you've been courtin' and sparkin' my old lady, I don't ever wanna have this talk again.

[Goat]

The title/subtitle says it all. This scenario must have occurred many, many times. We've all heard, read or seen instances of this and the types of responses that parents of their gay children have given. While we only seem to have a handful of vocal anti-gay Christians on this forum, I'm genuinely curious as to how they would react if their son or daughter came to them and told them that they're gay. Others, feel free to offer your input.

The question again: How would you (a Christian) respond to your son or your daughter coming out to you that they are gay? Without revealing any more than you need to, has this actually happened to any of you ...either as a gay son/daughter or as a parent?

I notice that, when someone responded honestly to you, you went into full bore attack mode...and you need to think about your post. There is a difference between saying 'I'm attracted to people of my own sex,' and "Mom, Dad, because I'm attracted to my own sex, I'm going to throw everything you've ever taught me about morality, honor and pure medical self defense and have sex with anybody who winks at me."

You are equating 'homosexual desires" with 'the homosexual lifestyle." What the heck IS that, anyway? What does a gay person do when living a 'homosexual lifestyle' that a heterosexual does not do--except when dealing with matters of sexual intercourse? Seems to me that there is nothing about being attracted to one's own sex that removes one's ability to choose what one DOES about that attraction.

Personally, I taught my children that sex was too important an aspect of any relationship to spend it like it was pocket change; wait for the 'right' person and marry him/her first. I never regretted doing it that way...and I would be exactly as saddened by a heterosexual child having sex with multiple partners as I would a homosexual child doing the same thing, and for precisely the same reason.

For me it would be harder, because my own belief system teaches that marriage can be eternal, and that it must be between opposite sexes; men and women complete each other as a team in a way that same sex partners simply cannot, in an eternal sense. However, that's my belief system. Those who do not believe as I do need to find their own ideas. A child of mine who goes against those teachings (whether homosexual or heterosexual) breaks my heart--but doesn't lose my love, or my participation in his/her life. Whether s/he likes that part or not.

Hum.. exactly. What is 'homosexual lifestyle'?? You mean, wanting to find and stay with someone that you love, and are sexually attracted to? I know a gay couple that has been together since my mother worked for one of them back when I was in high school.. so they have been together almost 40 years. They raised a child together. NOW, they can get legally married in this state. How many straight relationships last 40 years these days?

[connermt]

The title/subtitle says it all. This scenario must have occurred many, many times. We've all heard, read or seen instances of this and the types of responses that parents of their gay children have given. While we only seem to have a handful of vocal anti-gay Christians on this forum, I'm genuinely curious as to how they would react if their son or daughter came to them and told them that they're gay. Others, feel free to offer your input.

The question again: How would you (a Christian) respond to your son or your daughter coming out to you that they are gay? Without revealing any more than you need to, has this actually happened to any of you ...either as a gay son/daughter or as a parent?

I would imagine a christian parent would be somewhat disappointed because their child, whom they (likely tried to force their belief on) wanted to follow in their religious foot steps likely won't - at least according to a majority of modern belief (though not all christians would agree).
A real parent, christian or not, should continue to love their child, if not their actions.
While a christian parent may not like or even allow their child's partner to come to family functions, they shouldn't try to force their child into their own way of faith.
After all, christianity is supposed to be a personal religion, not a 'mass religion', for lack of a better term.

Basically, the parents should continue to love their child and support them when possible, not trying to force their faith on them.

[Sir Hamilton]

The title/subtitle says it all. This scenario must have occurred many, many times. We've all heard, read or seen instances of this and the types of responses that parents of their gay children have given. While we only seem to have a handful of vocal anti-gay Christians on this forum, I'm genuinely curious as to how they would react if their son or daughter came to them and told them that they're gay. Others, feel free to offer your input.

The question again: How would you (a Christian) respond to your son or your daughter coming out to you that they are gay?

I would be disappointed and since they are my child then they would have known what i believed about homosexuality. I wouldn't have need of telling them how this lifestyle is sinful and rebellious to how the Creator intended mankind to live. I would tell them i love them and always will and will pray that they stop living that sinful lifestyle.

Why wouldn't you hug him/her and reassure them that that is the way god made them and god can do no wrong?

Who is god?