Dad, mom ...I'm ...um, I'm gay

[KCKID]

The title/subtitle says it all. This scenario must have occurred many, many times. We've all heard, read or seen instances of this and the types of responses that parents of their gay children have given. While we only seem to have a handful of vocal anti-gay Christians on this forum, I'm genuinely curious as to how they would react if their son or daughter came to them and told them that they're gay. Others, feel free to offer your input.

The question again: How would you (a Christian) respond to your son or your daughter coming out to you that they are gay? Without revealing any more than you need to, has this actually happened to any of you ...either as a gay son/daughter or as a parent?

[bluethread]

What is wrong with, because I love you, I have some real concerns about what you are doing? How about, because I love you, I can not condone that behavior?

Because I love you I cannot condone the way my god made you?

Are you saying that Adonai made people eating raw bloody pigs guts and/or engaging in homosexual behavior, at the timeof their creation? One can say that Adonai made people by means of heterosexual behavior, but I can not see how either of those other activities have anything to do with how one is created. One can not do much about another's desire to eat raw bloody pigs guts, but one can have an opinion on another's behavior. In fact, our entire legal system is based on having an opinion with regard to another's behavior.

[Joab]

What is wrong with, because I love you, I have some real concerns about what you are doing? How about, because I love you, I can not condone that behavior?

Because I love you I cannot condone the way my god made you?

Are you saying that Adonai made people eating raw bloody pigs guts and/or engaging in homosexual behavior, at the timeof their creation? One can say that Adonai made people by means of heterosexual behavior, but I can not see how either of those other activities have anything to do with how one is created. One can not do much about another's desire to eat raw bloody pigs guts, but one can have an opinion on another's behavior. In fact, our entire legal system is based on having an opinion with regard to another's behavior.

According to you, your god made us, so if you enjoy eating raw bloody pigs guts, then that is how your god made you.
What that has to do with the price of politicians in washington I have no idea.

[bluethread]

According to you, your god made us, so if you enjoy eating raw bloody pigs guts, then that is how your god made you.
What that has to do with the price of politicians in washington I have no idea.

Pulling the predestination card is not relevant, because we are not talking about eternal accountability. We are talking about social acceptance. The assertion was that the wisest thing for a parent to do, when their child decides to do something that the parent opposes is to say that they love them and will support them in their lifestyle choice. Does this apply to all lifestyle choices, or just those that fit one's personal sensibilities?

[Clownboat]

Do I detect a phobia here?

Ya Blue, that is what is going on here. I have a phobia about eating raw bloody pig guts. The fact you compared a child telling their parents that they are gay to them telling their parents that they like to eat raw bloody pig guts is of no concern.

You think yourself too clever it seems.

Your intent is here for all of us to see. You are not comparing a child telling their parents that they are gay with a decision to like the color blue.

You are comparing the making of this decision to eating raw bloody pig guts. It is not lost on the rest of us here as to why you would choose such a comparison when comparing it to liking a sports activity would have sufficed (liking a rival team for example).

Imagine the protests and moderation warnings that would proceed a post directed at Christians in such a way. All the while, here you type in an attempt to justify such a statement. I attempt to point out a potential double standard.

I responded to your post to help shed light on the abuse that too many in the homosexual community must face. I asked if you were a Christian out of curiosity. I find it odd that so many people that profess to follow a religion of love, seem so unable to actually love. Whether you are a Christian or not, I could not care less. It's your behavior that worries me and what I felt compelled to point out to others.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trichinosis
Trichinosis, also called trichinellosis, or trichiniasis, is a parasitic disease caused by eating raw or undercooked pork.

We know that sleeping around can have repercussions, whether gay or straight. So your argument cannot be about gays sleeping around since both types of people do it. It seems that you would compare a loving homosexual relationship with an activity that is known to cause a parasitic disease. Why do you do this?

Will you address this, or will you continue to detract by trying to make this about me having a phobia about eating raw bloody pig guts that are known to cause parasitic diseases?

[bluethread]

Do I detect a phobia here?

Ya Blue, that is what is going on here. I have a phobia about eating raw bloody pig guts. The fact you compared a child telling their parents that they are gay to them telling their parents that they like to eat raw bloody pig guts is of no concern.

You think yourself too clever it seems.

Your intent is here for all of us to see. You are not comparing a child telling their parents that they are gay with a decision to like the color blue.

You are comparing the making of this decision to eating raw bloody pig guts. It is not lost on the rest of us here as to why you would choose such a comparison when comparing it to liking a sports activity would have sufficed (liking a rival team for example).

Imagine the protests and moderation warnings that would proceed a post directed at Christians in such a way. All the while, here you type in an attempt to justify such a statement. I attempt to point out a potential double standard.

I responded to your post to help shed light on the abuse that too many in the homosexual community must face. I asked if you were a Christian out of curiosity. I find it odd that so many people that profess to follow a religion of love, seem so unable to actually love. Whether you are a Christian or not, I could not care less. It's your behavior that worries me and what I felt compelled to point out to others.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trichinosis
Trichinosis, also called trichinellosis, or trichiniasis, is a parasitic disease caused by eating raw or undercooked pork.

We know that sleeping around can have repercussions, whether gay or straight. So your argument cannot be about gays sleeping around since both types of people do it. It seems that you would compare a loving homosexual relationship with an activity that is known to cause a parasitic disease. Why do you do this?

Will you address this, or will you continue to detract by trying to make this about me having a phobia about eating raw bloody pig guts that are known to cause parasitic diseases?

Yes, you would have personal concerns related to trichinosis, which Wikipedia says is not limited to just pigs. However, there is no need to stretch the analogy. The point is that there are things that we each find socially unacceptable for various reasons. To say that a parent should support their children regardless of what those things are is rather simplistic. We all have concerns about our children and voicing those concerns does not make one a bad parent.

[Clownboat]

According to you, your god made us, so if you enjoy eating raw bloody pigs guts, then that is how your god made you.
What that has to do with the price of politicians in washington I have no idea.

Pulling the predestination card is not relevant, because we are not talking about eternal accountability. We are talking about social acceptance. The assertion was that the wisest thing for a parent to do, when their child decides to do something that the parent opposes is to say that they love them and will support them in their lifestyle choice. Does this apply to all lifestyle choices, or just those that fit one's personal sensibilities?

Now you allude to homosexuality being a lifestyle choice. Do you have any evidence to back up such a claim?

- How old were you when you chose to be gay or straight?
- Could you now choose to be attracted to someone of the same sex?

My answers, which point to it not being a choice:
- I never chose to be gay or straight. I have always been what I have been (attracted to the opposite sex).
- I can not look at a man and choose to be attracted to them.

I'm curious how your answers will vary from mine or if you have any evidence, scant or not that homosexuality is a choice.

My assumption. You find it icky, much like many of us. You however follow a religion that has interpreted homosexuality as being something evil. Due to your religious beliefs, it's not OK to just find it icky, you must also believe that they are making this choice, are rejecting your god concept and are abominations because of it. This would then makes sense as to why you would consider such a choice to be like the choice to eat raw bloody pig guts that is known to cause diseases.

I ask for clarification because we all know what assuming can do, not because I care about your specific beliefs. Pick any religion to follow as you see fit. I care not as long as my fellow great apes don't have to suffer unnecessarily over it.

[dianaiad]

According to you, your god made us, so if you enjoy eating raw bloody pigs guts, then that is how your god made you.
What that has to do with the price of politicians in washington I have no idea.

Pulling the predestination card is not relevant, because we are not talking about eternal accountability. We are talking about social acceptance. The assertion was that the wisest thing for a parent to do, when their child decides to do something that the parent opposes is to say that they love them and will support them in their lifestyle choice. Does this apply to all lifestyle choices, or just those that fit one's personal sensibilities?

Now you allude to homosexuality being a lifestyle choice. Do you have any evidence to back up such a claim?

- How old were you when you chose to be gay or straight?
- Could you now choose to be attracted to someone of the same sex?

Please do not confuse 'lifestyle' with 'innate preference.'

Perhaps one cannot decide which sex one is attracted to...but 'lifestyle' is about what one does about that attraction, not the attraction itself. For instance, I've always felt that I was equal to anybody; in fact, I can trace my bloodline back to William the Conqueror's bastard cousin. (wait..dear King William was a bastard...does that make his cousin legitimate? er...hmnnn...nevermind...and anyway...) Closer to home, I'm a direct descendent of John Adams. Yep, THAT John Adams. Not sure I want to admit that all the time, but still....

Sorry, wondering.

The point is, I was born with the bloodline to be a princess...shoot, I was Diana before Diana was Diana...and certainly am several times qualified to be a member of the 'Daughters of the American Revolution." Those things are innate.

I'm neither a princess nor a member of the DAR. The first because, well, I'll bet half the western world can tie their bloodline back to W the C, and the second because (and this is important) I choose not to live that lifestyle.

BTW, I'm heterosexual, too. Love looking at a fine looking man; appreciate the heck out of him. However, that doesn't mean that I 'live the lifestyle,' as in, go out and have sex with anybody who would have sex with me. (Now, why does that remind me of Mark Twain's ...or was it Groucho Marx...somebody 'mark,' anyway...remark about not wanting to be a member of any club that would allow him in?)

The point of this ramble is this: preference does NOT equal 'lifestyle.'

A preference for one's own sex doesn't equal 'obligation to be promiscuous,' or even 'permission to be promiscuous,' any more than being heterosexual does. So, if my child came to me and said 'I'm going to live the gay lifestyle,' she would be saying something quite different from "Dad, mom ...I'm, ...um, I'm gay"

[Strider324]

According to you, your god made us, so if you enjoy eating raw bloody pigs guts, then that is how your god made you.
What that has to do with the price of politicians in washington I have no idea.

Pulling the predestination card is not relevant, because we are not talking about eternal accountability. We are talking about social acceptance. The assertion was that the wisest thing for a parent to do, when their child decides to do something that the parent opposes is to say that they love them and will support them in their lifestyle choice. Does this apply to all lifestyle choices, or just those that fit one's personal sensibilities?

Now you allude to homosexuality being a lifestyle choice. Do you have any evidence to back up such a claim?

- How old were you when you chose to be gay or straight?
- Could you now choose to be attracted to someone of the same sex?

Please do not confuse 'lifestyle' with 'innate preference.'

Perhaps one cannot decide which sex one is attracted to...but 'lifestyle' is about what one does about that attraction, not the attraction itself. For instance, I've always felt that I was equal to anybody; in fact, I can trace my bloodline back to William the Conqueror's bastard cousin. (wait..dear King William was a bastard...does that make his cousin legitimate? er...hmnnn...nevermind...and anyway...) Closer to home, I'm a direct descendent of John Adams. Yep, THAT John Adams. Not sure I want to admit that all the time, but still....

Sorry, wondering.

The point is, I was born with the bloodline to be a princess...shoot, I was Diana before Diana was Diana...and certainly am several times qualified to be a member of the 'Daughters of the American Revolution." Those things are innate.

I'm neither a princess nor a member of the DAR. The first because, well, I'll bet half the western world can tie their bloodline back to W the C, and the second because (and this is important) I choose not to live that lifestyle.

BTW, I'm heterosexual, too. Love looking at a fine looking man; appreciate the heck out of him. However, that doesn't mean that I 'live the lifestyle,' as in, go out and have sex with anybody who would have sex with me. (Now, why does that remind me of Mark Twain's ...or was it Groucho Marx...somebody 'mark,' anyway...remark about not wanting to be a member of any club that would allow him in?)

The point of this ramble is this: preference does NOT equal 'lifestyle.'

A preference for one's own sex doesn't equal 'obligation to be promiscuous,' or even 'permission to be promiscuous,' any more than being heterosexual does. So, if my child came to me and said 'I'm going to live the gay lifestyle,' she would be saying something quite different from "Dad, mom ...I'm, ...um, I'm gay"

So, in your worldview, the salient definition of the Gay Lifestyle is that they are promiscuous?? How convenient. Gee, if I wanted to sit in judgement of homosexuals, I couldn't think of a more Archie Bunkeresque approach....

Here's a clue. I have dozens of personal friends that are Gay and yet amazingly, they are in committed relationships. Also, I have several friends who are promiscuous but not Gay. If you're going to insist on demonizing an entire class of people, you should at least know what you are talking about. Promiscuity is not a defining characteristic of the Gay Lifestyle, and you should apologize for that unsupported and pejorative characterization.

Also, 'innate' is not 'biologically driven'. Your pithy story about the DAR is a non sequitur to the subject of choice in regards to sexuality. When you admit that you could 'choose' to have a lesbian relationship because sexual preference is just a 'choice', then I'll have some respect for that argument.

[Clownboat]

Do I detect a phobia here?

Ya Blue, that is what is going on here. I have a phobia about eating raw bloody pig guts. The fact you compared a child telling their parents that they are gay to them telling their parents that they like to eat raw bloody pig guts is of no concern.

You think yourself too clever it seems.

Your intent is here for all of us to see. You are not comparing a child telling their parents that they are gay with a decision to like the color blue.

You are comparing the making of this decision to eating raw bloody pig guts. It is not lost on the rest of us here as to why you would choose such a comparison when comparing it to liking a sports activity would have sufficed (liking a rival team for example).

Imagine the protests and moderation warnings that would proceed a post directed at Christians in such a way. All the while, here you type in an attempt to justify such a statement. I attempt to point out a potential double standard.

I responded to your post to help shed light on the abuse that too many in the homosexual community must face. I asked if you were a Christian out of curiosity. I find it odd that so many people that profess to follow a religion of love, seem so unable to actually love. Whether you are a Christian or not, I could not care less. It's your behavior that worries me and what I felt compelled to point out to others.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trichinosis
Trichinosis, also called trichinellosis, or trichiniasis, is a parasitic disease caused by eating raw or undercooked pork.

We know that sleeping around can have repercussions, whether gay or straight. So your argument cannot be about gays sleeping around since both types of people do it. It seems that you would compare a loving homosexual relationship with an activity that is known to cause a parasitic disease. Why do you do this?

Will you address this, or will you continue to detract by trying to make this about me having a phobia about eating raw bloody pig guts that are known to cause parasitic diseases?

Yes, you would have personal concerns related to trichinosis, which Wikipedia says is not limited to just pigs. However, there is no need to stretch the analogy. The point is that there are things that we each find socially unacceptable for various reasons. To say that a parent should support their children regardless of what those things are is rather simplistic. We all have concerns about our children and voicing those concerns does not make one a bad parent.

Do you think that telling your gay child that they might as well take on a diet of eating raw bloody pig guts that is known to cause disease if they are going to tell you that they are gay, would make for someone being a bad parent? This argument could probably be made, but should have a thread of its own.

To me, this would be like adopting a minority child and then telling said child that they are bad for being said minority. Now, if a child could control what minority to be born from, that could change the scenario.

Haha! Specific race "X" child. You're race "X", you might as well choose to eat bloody pig guts if you're going to chose to be race "X". Do you see how this would be unfair? Can you empathize with the child in this scenario?

You need to keep in mind that these kids are not telling their parents that they are taking part in an activity that will cause health issues, which is something every parent should care about. They are telling you which sex they are attracted to, and so far, all evidence I have seen suggest that they cannot control said attraction, just like you cannot control what race you are.


Bigotry is the state of mind of a bigot: someone who, as a result of their prejudices, treats or views other people with fear, distrust, hatred, contempt, or intolerance on the basis of a person's opinion, ethnicity, race, religion, national origin, gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, disability, socioeconomic status, or other characteristics.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bigotry

[bluethread]

According to you, your god made us, so if you enjoy eating raw bloody pigs guts, then that is how your god made you.
What that has to do with the price of politicians in washington I have no idea.

Pulling the predestination card is not relevant, because we are not talking about eternal accountability. We are talking about social acceptance. The assertion was that the wisest thing for a parent to do, when their child decides to do something that the parent opposes is to say that they love them and will support them in their lifestyle choice. Does this apply to all lifestyle choices, or just those that fit one's personal sensibilities?

Now you allude to homosexuality being a lifestyle choice. Do you have any evidence to back up such a claim?

- How old were you when you chose to be gay or straight?
- Could you now choose to be attracted to someone of the same sex?

My answers, which point to it not being a choice:
- I never chose to be gay or straight. I have always been what I have been (attracted to the opposite sex).
- I can not look at a man and choose to be attracted to them.

I'm curious how your answers will vary from mine or if you have any evidence, scant or not that homosexuality is a choice.

My assumption. You find it icky, much like many of us. You however follow a religion that has interpreted homosexuality as being something evil. Due to your religious beliefs, it's not OK to just find it icky, you must also believe that they are making this choice, are rejecting your god concept and are abominations because of it. This would then makes sense as to why you would consider such a choice to be like the choice to eat raw bloody pig guts that is known to cause diseases.

I ask for clarification because we all know what assuming can do, not because I care about your specific beliefs. Pick any religion to follow as you see fit. I care not as long as my fellow great apes don't have to suffer unnecessarily over it.

Focusing on the topic at hand, how does one support being "gay"? If someone is "gay" regardless of what they do, how does that being "gay" effect one's relationship with one's parents? The rest of this is just an attempt to differentiate homosexual behavior from other behaviors based on the belief that the desire to take part in homosexual behavior is innate. Many desires can be said to be innate. In fact, there is a lot of scientific study supporting the idea that the desire to commit murder is innate in some. I am not saying that homosexuality and murder are exactly the same thing. I am saying that innate desire does not translate into blanket acceptance of the behavior.