Dad, mom ...I'm ...um, I'm gay

[KCKID]

The title/subtitle says it all. This scenario must have occurred many, many times. We've all heard, read or seen instances of this and the types of responses that parents of their gay children have given. While we only seem to have a handful of vocal anti-gay Christians on this forum, I'm genuinely curious as to how they would react if their son or daughter came to them and told them that they're gay. Others, feel free to offer your input.

The question again: How would you (a Christian) respond to your son or your daughter coming out to you that they are gay? Without revealing any more than you need to, has this actually happened to any of you ...either as a gay son/daughter or as a parent?

[bluethread]

A big key is... does the activity harm anyone, you for some reason don't seem to get this very important point. My evidence for this is the fact you compared homosexuality with murder. It seems to me that you lack making this distinction. Perhaps this explains why you don't seem to have an issue with holding something that you treasure for yourself from your fellow man. "A loving relationship with the person you love"

No, I think parents and children should have a relationship that is truly loving, ie. one that recognizes that there are paths that parents can not support and that that does not necessarily make them bad parents. It just makes them individuals that care enough to discourage paths that they find unacceptable.

Does this really need clarification? Parents aren't lifelong dictators, though too many try to micromanage their kid's life. In the end, the individual will decide, like it or not, if they'll engage in same sex behavior. If they are gay then in all likelihood it's only a matter of time. All you can do as parents is support their decisions in life, so long as it's not destructive.

To me, there is plenty evidence that giving emotional support and making sure they practice safe sex is way less destructive than to berate or shun a gay teen or drive them into depression with "abstinence only" crap.

No, parents are not life long dictators. However, children are not life long dependents, either. Parents have a right to their opinions and social standards, just as everyone else. Why should the parents be required to compromise their deeply held beliefs and support the child's decisions, while the child is not required to respect the parents and act accordingly.

I did not say anything about any "abstinence only crap". We are talking about children either demanding or requesting that parents be accepting of something that the parents believe to be destructive, just because they are their children. It is only natural for a parent to want to keep their children protected. That is why, a truly loving parent would teach their child to take criticism and realize that people are not going to accepting of certain behaviors. If a child wishes to do things contrary to the parents wishes, that is fine. However, to presume that a parent will "drive them into depression", just because that parent chooses not to support those activities, is to ignore the responsibilities that a child must learn to accept. That is not protecting the child, that is pandering to the child.

[Joab]

A big key is... does the activity harm anyone, you for some reason don't seem to get this very important point. My evidence for this is the fact you compared homosexuality with murder. It seems to me that you lack making this distinction. Perhaps this explains why you don't seem to have an issue with holding something that you treasure for yourself from your fellow man. "A loving relationship with the person you love"

No, I think parents and children should have a relationship that is truly loving, ie. one that recognizes that there are paths that parents can not support and that that does not necessarily make them bad parents. It just makes them individuals that care enough to discourage paths that they find unacceptable.

Does this really need clarification? Parents aren't lifelong dictators, though too many try to micromanage their kid's life. In the end, the individual will decide, like it or not, if they'll engage in same sex behavior. If they are gay then in all likelihood it's only a matter of time. All you can do as parents is support their decisions in life, so long as it's not destructive.

To me, there is plenty evidence that giving emotional support and making sure they practice safe sex is way less destructive than to berate or shun a gay teen or drive them into depression with "abstinence only" crap.

No, parents are not life long dictators. However, children are not life long dependents, either. Parents have a right to their opinions and social standards, just as everyone else. Why should the parents be required to compromise their deeply held beliefs and support the child's decisions, while the child is not required to respect the parents and act accordingly.

I did not say anything about any "abstinence only crap". We are talking about children either demanding or requesting that parents be accepting of something that the parents believe to be destructive, just because they are their children. It is only natural for a parent to want to keep their children protected. That is why, a truly loving parent would teach their child to take criticism and realize that people are not going to accepting of certain behaviors. If a child wishes to do things contrary to the parents wishes, that is fine. However, to presume that a parent will "drive them into depression", just because that parent chooses not to support those activities, is to ignore the responsibilities that a child must learn to accept. That is not protecting the child, that is pandering to the child.

It is terribly sad that so many "religious" parents obtain these opinions and social standards from long dead ignorant goatherds. Using a really old book of fables to do their thinking for them.

Mum, Dad, I've got leprosy quick Mary get the two chickens and you son get out of my house.

[Zetesis Apistia]

The title/subtitle says it all. This scenario must have occurred many, many times. We've all heard, read or seen instances of this and the types of responses that parents of their gay children have given. While we only seem to have a handful of vocal anti-gay Christians on this forum, I'm genuinely curious as to how they would react if their son or daughter came to them and told them that they're gay. Others, feel free to offer your input.

The question again: How would you (a Christian) respond to your son or your daughter coming out to you that they are gay? Without revealing any more than you need to, has this actually happened to any of you ...either as a gay son/daughter or as a parent?

I would help them understand that behavior should never influence acceptance, but some behaviors are not tolerated in certain groups.

Not sure I fully understand or agree with this. One would hope behavior would influence acceptance. One of the more liberating experiences I've had are the times I've had some of my prejudices changed/eliminated by actually meeting and appreciating people as I got to know them better. Certainly I became more accepting based on their behavior.

And some people see homosexuality as a behavior. Should that "unacceptable behavior" influence their acceptance of the homosexual?

Not a factor at all to me. What people do in the privacy of their own homes, as long as it is consensual and no one is hurt, why should I care? It's how folks interact, how they treat each other, their kindness and their character that counts to me. Originality and wit doesn't hurt either.

You were the one that said behavior should influence acceptance not me.

[Danmark]

The title/subtitle says it all. This scenario must have occurred many, many times. We've all heard, read or seen instances of this and the types of responses that parents of their gay children have given. While we only seem to have a handful of vocal anti-gay Christians on this forum, I'm genuinely curious as to how they would react if their son or daughter came to them and told them that they're gay. Others, feel free to offer your input.

The question again: How would you (a Christian) respond to your son or your daughter coming out to you that they are gay? Without revealing any more than you need to, has this actually happened to any of you ...either as a gay son/daughter or as a parent?

I would help them understand that behavior should never influence acceptance, but some behaviors are not tolerated in certain groups.

Not sure I fully understand or agree with this. One would hope behavior would influence acceptance. One of the more liberating experiences I've had are the times I've had some of my prejudices changed/eliminated by actually meeting and appreciating people as I got to know them better. Certainly I became more accepting based on their behavior.

And some people see homosexuality as a behavior. Should that "unacceptable behavior" influence their acceptance of the homosexual?

Not a factor at all to me. What people do in the privacy of their own homes, as long as it is consensual and no one is hurt, why should I care? It's how folks interact, how they treat each other, their kindness and their character that counts to me. Originality and wit doesn't hurt either.

You were the one that said behavior should influence acceptance not me.

One of the problems with 'one-liners' [or at least this one] is that they have no content. Perhaps if you explained what you meant by this non-sequitur it would force you to actually explain to yourself and others what your point is.

[Jake]

No, parents are not life long dictators. However, children are not life long dependents, either. Parents have a right to their opinions and social standards, just as everyone else. Why should the parents be required to compromise their deeply held beliefs and support the child's decisions, while the child is not required to respect the parents and act accordingly.

I did not say anything about any "abstinence only crap". We are talking about children either demanding or requesting that parents be accepting of something that the parents believe to be destructive, just because they are their children. It is only natural for a parent to want to keep their children protected. That is why, a truly loving parent would teach their child to take criticism and realize that people are not going to accepting of certain behaviors. If a child wishes to do things contrary to the parents wishes, that is fine. However, to presume that a parent will "drive them into depression", just because that parent chooses not to support those activities, is to ignore the responsibilities that a child must learn to accept. That is not protecting the child, that is pandering to the child.

I agree, if a parent truly believes their child is acting in a destructive manner, it's logical for that parent to try to prevent that behavior. We need to fight for acceptance of homosexuality rather than for tolerance by those who still won't be truly accepting.

[bluethread]

I did not say anything about any "abstinence only crap". We are talking about children either demanding or requesting that parents be accepting of something that the parents believe to be destructive, just because they are their children. It is only natural for a parent to want to keep their children protected. That is why, a truly loving parent would teach their child to take criticism and realize that people are not going to accepting of certain behaviors. If a child wishes to do things contrary to the parents wishes, that is fine. However, to presume that a parent will "drive them into depression", just because that parent chooses not to support those activities, is to ignore the responsibilities that a child must learn to accept. That is not protecting the child, that is pandering to the child.

It is terribly sad that so many "religious" parents obtain these opinions and social standards from long dead ignorant goatherds. Using a really old book of fables to do their thinking for them.

Mum, Dad, I've got leprosy quick Mary get the two chickens and you son get out of my house.

So, you believe that quarantine is immoral? By the way, what is the two chickens part about.

[Joab]

I did not say anything about any "abstinence only crap". We are talking about children either demanding or requesting that parents be accepting of something that the parents believe to be destructive, just because they are their children. It is only natural for a parent to want to keep their children protected. That is why, a truly loving parent would teach their child to take criticism and realize that people are not going to accepting of certain behaviors. If a child wishes to do things contrary to the parents wishes, that is fine. However, to presume that a parent will "drive them into depression", just because that parent chooses not to support those activities, is to ignore the responsibilities that a child must learn to accept. That is not protecting the child, that is pandering to the child.

It is terribly sad that so many "religious" parents obtain these opinions and social standards from long dead ignorant goatherds. Using a really old book of fables to do their thinking for them.

Mum, Dad, I've got leprosy quick Mary get the two chickens and you son get out of my house.

So, you believe that quarantine is immoral? By the way, what is the two chickens part about.

Just some really funny stuff outa the bible. Don't worry yourself.
Oh wait they might have been pigeons. Who knows with that book.

[99percentatheism]

No, parents are not life long dictators. However, children are not life long dependents, either. Parents have a right to their opinions and social standards, just as everyone else. Why should the parents be required to compromise their deeply held beliefs and support the child's decisions, while the child is not required to respect the parents and act accordingly.

I did not say anything about any "abstinence only crap". We are talking about children either demanding or requesting that parents be accepting of something that the parents believe to be destructive, just because they are their children. It is only natural for a parent to want to keep their children protected. That is why, a truly loving parent would teach their child to take criticism and realize that people are not going to accepting of certain behaviors. If a child wishes to do things contrary to the parents wishes, that is fine. However, to presume that a parent will "drive them into depression", just because that parent chooses not to support those activities, is to ignore the responsibilities that a child must learn to accept. That is not protecting the child, that is pandering to the child.

I agree, if a parent truly believes their child is acting in a destructive manner, it's logical for that parent to try to prevent that behavior.

We need to fight for acceptance of homosexuality rather than for tolerance by those who still won't be truly accepting.

A perfect example of the gay agenda that so many here seem to deny exists. It's not just good enough that people engage in a live and let live attitude towards a society that is made up of many kinds of people one may find objectionable. No, no, it's about forcing everyone to "accept" homosexuality.

[Danmark]

No, parents are not life long dictators. However, children are not life long dependents, either. Parents have a right to their opinions and social standards, just as everyone else. Why should the parents be required to compromise their deeply held beliefs and support the child's decisions, while the child is not required to respect the parents and act accordingly.

I did not say anything about any "abstinence only crap". We are talking about children either demanding or requesting that parents be accepting of something that the parents believe to be destructive, just because they are their children. It is only natural for a parent to want to keep their children protected. That is why, a truly loving parent would teach their child to take criticism and realize that people are not going to accepting of certain behaviors. If a child wishes to do things contrary to the parents wishes, that is fine. However, to presume that a parent will "drive them into depression", just because that parent chooses not to support those activities, is to ignore the responsibilities that a child must learn to accept. That is not protecting the child, that is pandering to the child.

I agree, if a parent truly believes their child is acting in a destructive manner, it's logical for that parent to try to prevent that behavior.

We need to fight for acceptance of homosexuality rather than for tolerance by those who still won't be truly accepting.

A perfect example of the gay agenda that so many here seem to deny exists. It's not just good enough that people engage in a live and let live attitude towards a society that is made up of many kinds of people one may find objectionable. No, no, it's about forcing everyone to "accept" homosexuality.

The only 'agenda' is acceptance and equality. This is the same thing that women fought for; the same thing African Americans fought for, the same thing 'the Irish' fought for. The 'agenda' is simply asking for equality, fairness and dignity for all. Fewer and fewer people care about what the narrow minded opposition thinks or wants in its increasingly feckless desire to oppress those in the minority.

[99percentatheism]

No, parents are not life long dictators. However, children are not life long dependents, either. Parents have a right to their opinions and social standards, just as everyone else. Why should the parents be required to compromise their deeply held beliefs and support the child's decisions, while the child is not required to respect the parents and act accordingly.

I did not say anything about any "abstinence only crap". We are talking about children either demanding or requesting that parents be accepting of something that the parents believe to be destructive, just because they are their children. It is only natural for a parent to want to keep their children protected. That is why, a truly loving parent would teach their child to take criticism and realize that people are not going to accepting of certain behaviors. If a child wishes to do things contrary to the parents wishes, that is fine. However, to presume that a parent will "drive them into depression", just because that parent chooses not to support those activities, is to ignore the responsibilities that a child must learn to accept. That is not protecting the child, that is pandering to the child.

I agree, if a parent truly believes their child is acting in a destructive manner, it's logical for that parent to try to prevent that behavior.

We need to fight for acceptance of homosexuality rather than for tolerance by those who still won't be truly accepting.

A perfect example of the gay agenda that so many here seem to deny exists. It's not just good enough that people engage in a live and let live attitude towards a society that is made up of many kinds of people one may find objectionable. No, no, it's about forcing everyone to "accept" homosexuality.

The only 'agenda' is acceptance and equality. This is the same thing that women fought for; the same thing African Americans fought for, the same thing 'the Irish' fought for. The 'agenda' is simply asking for equality, fairness and dignity for all. Fewer and fewer people care about what the narrow minded opposition thinks or wants in its increasingly feckless desire to oppress those in the minority.

Is a man wife the equal of a woman wife in Christian truth?

No.

Is a woman husband the equal of a man husband in Christian truth.

No.

Christian marriage is man and woman/husband and wife.

Forcing Christians to accept homosexual activism as their authority is either secular tyranny or religious persecution of the Bible-believing Christians no matter how small a minority they are.