The War on Women

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McCulloch
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The War on Women

Post #1

Post by McCulloch »

In the seven years from 2000 to 2006, 2,697 American soldiers were killed by hostile forces, mostly in Iraq and Afghanistan. Another 726 died there accidentally in "non-hostile" incidents. At home, 611 American law enforcement officers were feloniously killed in the line of duty, including 72 in the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. Another 554 officers died on the job from traffic accidents, heart attacks, accidental shootings, suicide and other non-hostile incidents.
So, in those seven years, the total number of front-line military and law enforcement deaths was 4,588.
We pay tribute to these fallen men and women, often with national television, newspaper and magazine coverage.
There is another war - largely over looked but even more deadly - with far more victims killed by hostiles. But these dead are not labeled heroes, nor are they honoured in the national media or in formal ceremonies. From time to time, they may attract a spate of publicity as the result of a high profile trial or an inquest that will likely conclude that society let them down once again and recommend changes to prevent future deaths, though these recommendations will be mostly ignored. This is the War on Women.
Compare the raw numbers. In the same seven year period when 4,588 U.S. soldiers and police officers were killed by hostiles or by accident, more than 8,000 women, nearly twice as many, were shot, stabbed, strangled or beaten to death by the intimate males in their lives.
In the United States, it's conservatively estimated that in addition to the 1,200 to 1,300 women killed each year by intimate partners, another 5.3 million, age 18 and older are victims of non-lethal domestic abuse.
Based on those numbers, the violence costs the country more than $5.8 billion annually.
Wars usually produce large numbers of refugees and the War on Women has its own refugee camps, in the form of 2,500 or so shelters for battered women and their children across North America. In the United States, more than 300,000 women and children seek safety in shelters each year.
If our governments became aware of terrorist cells that planned to kill and maim thousands of their citizens, would they not muster the full resources of the state to go after and stop them? It is an outrage that this slaughter of women should be continued in so-called progressive Western democracies, or anywhere else in the world.

From The War on Women: Elly Armour, Jane Hurshman and Criminal Violence in Canadian Homes, by Brian Vallée, Copyright © 2007. Published by Key Porter Books.

Some suggested principles:
  • Domestic violence laws must be gender specific, not gender neutral, because by a wide margin women are the ones who end up in the hospital or in the grave.
  • Domestic violence is such a breach of trust, it should be considered as serious a crime as attacking or murdering a police or corrections officer.
  • The penalty for murder of an intimate partner must be severe – 25 years without parole. Otherwise, what's to deter a batterer who sees news stories about men who kill their spouses being charged with manslaughter or second-degree murder and sentenced to five, 10, or 15 years, of which they will likely serve only a third?
  • Whenever possible, the abuser should be removed from the home – to jail or a halfway house – instead of forcing women and children to hide out in shelters.
  • An abuser confined to a halfway house would be required to wear an electronic ankle bracelet and undergo counseling until the courts were through with him.
  • A battered spouse, meanwhile, would be offered counselling and would be supplied with a form of electronic "panic button" that directly alerts police if she suddenly comes under threat.
  • A batterer breaking the terms of bail or court orders against him would be arrested on a new (and serious) breach of trust charge. Break bail, you go to jail – no second chances. Second chances have proved deadly for too many women and their children.
Recommended Legislation:
  • Create a category of crime called femicide with penalties the same as those for first-degree murder (25 years without parole).
  • Whenever there is a history of abuse and a woman is killed by her male intimate, the charge should be femicide, and the provocation defense ("she left me and I just lost it") should not be allowed.
  • Establish halfway houses for batterers so women and children aren't the ones forced to leave the home.
  • Implement legislation (with adequate funding) for universal daycare and provide women with opportunities to earn income and escape a battering spouse.
  • Provide sustained funding for shelters and second-stage (medium-term) housing, with counseling services and income support so women who flee are not forced to return to a batterer for economic reasons.
  • Restore full funding for Status of Women Canada and other women's advocacy groups.
  • In cases of domestic violence, transfer jurisdiction for restraining and protection orders from civil courts to criminal courts, with mandatory incarceration when orders are breached.
  • When restraining or protection orders are in place, make it an offense for a private investigator or other third party, aware of such orders, to find, or seek to find – on behalf of an abuser – an estranged intimate partner who is in hiding or a shelter.
  • Implement full registration and licensing of all firearms.
  • Ensure adequate long-term funding of the front-line services needed by aboriginal women to escape violence.
  • Undertake comprehensive national research on the magnitude of domestic violence in aboriginal communities.
  • Ensure the full participation of aboriginal women in the planning and implementation of the policies that directly affect their welfare.
Brian Vallée in the Toronto Star, Saturday, November 3, 2007
Examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good.
First Epistle to the Church of the Thessalonians
The truth will make you free.
Gospel of John

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Post #11

Post by achilles12604 »

Ok. I did it.

Senator,

I am currently employed in law enforcement. During the course of my work I encounter many women and a few men in a domestic violence situation. I understand fully the cycle of abuse and the many problems associated with it. Once in this cycle, it can be difficult to break free.

I was discussing this issue with some friends and a suggestion was made which I believe holds a lot of possibility. We should create an online registry (like the sex offenders) which contains the information for all prior DV convictions. This way, if a woman or her family was not sure, she could simply check. I don't think this would cost much and might be very helpful. It would be a step in prevention, rather than reaction.

Sincerely yours,
Christopher Billman
It is a first class human tragedy that people of the earth who claim to believe in the message of Jesus, whom they describe as the Prince of Peace, show little of that belief in actual practice.

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Post #12

Post by Confused »

achilles12604 wrote:Ok. I did it.

Senator,

I am currently employed in law enforcement. During the course of my work I encounter many women and a few men in a domestic violence situation. I understand fully the cycle of abuse and the many problems associated with it. Once in this cycle, it can be difficult to break free.

I was discussing this issue with some friends and a suggestion was made which I believe holds a lot of possibility. We should create an online registry (like the sex offenders) which contains the information for all prior DV convictions. This way, if a woman or her family was not sure, she could simply check. I don't think this would cost much and might be very helpful. It would be a step in prevention, rather than reaction.

Sincerely yours,
Christopher Billman
Any response yet?
What we do for ourselves dies with us,
What we do for others and the world remains
and is immortal.

-Albert Pine
Never be bullied into silence.
Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
Accept no one persons definition of your life; define yourself.

-Harvey Fierstein

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achilles12604
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Post #13

Post by achilles12604 »

Confused wrote:
achilles12604 wrote:Ok. I did it.

Senator,

I am currently employed in law enforcement. During the course of my work I encounter many women and a few men in a domestic violence situation. I understand fully the cycle of abuse and the many problems associated with it. Once in this cycle, it can be difficult to break free.

I was discussing this issue with some friends and a suggestion was made which I believe holds a lot of possibility. We should create an online registry (like the sex offenders) which contains the information for all prior DV convictions. This way, if a woman or her family was not sure, she could simply check. I don't think this would cost much and might be very helpful. It would be a step in prevention, rather than reaction.

Sincerely yours,
Christopher Billman
Any response yet?
Just the automated one. I don't expect anything else.
It is a first class human tragedy that people of the earth who claim to believe in the message of Jesus, whom they describe as the Prince of Peace, show little of that belief in actual practice.

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Post #14

Post by dissenter719 »

Oh, I'm dismayed. So dismayed. :shock:

I didn't bother to quote any of the three or four posts that so totally offended me, because they were all very similar. Something along the lines of, "The domestic violence victim is at least partially to blame. S/he could have left. Low self-esteem and lack of income are not good enough reasons to stay and be beaten. They should all just learn their lessons and get out."

I have to say, first of all, that I work for the Family Division of a Circuit Court. I work specifically with juvenile cases of abuse, neglect and delinquency, and the families of these children. I sit in court, day after day, and record the hearings and compose judges' orders, from preliminary all the way through eventual dismissal or termination of parental rights. I have seen and heard the stories of thousands of women and children in these situations. They make up almost exclusively the clientele of the court for which I work. (We're #3 in the U.S. in violent crime.)

Domestic violence is so much more than "beating." These women and children are emotionally battered, day in and day out. They are told how worthless and stupid they are. They're screamed at until they have no physical response to it anymore (flat affect). They are beaten down, literally and figuratively, until they actually believe their abusers. They become dull and unable to make simple decisions for themselves, because they are so used to being punished for every single independent thought or action. Women attack the police who attempt to 'help' them, because everyone of us knows that the abuser will be back on the street in a matter of time, and who will pay the price? Not the police officer. What is the woman to do? Cooperate and be beaten worse in a couple of days, or acquiesce and make her man proud that she fought for him?

Leaving ceases to be an option for these people. That's why the vast majority of abused children don't ever run away until they're placed into a safer (foster care) environment. They don't understand or see that what is happening to them is wrong until they spend time in an actual 'normal' environment.

Abuse is a cycle. Abused children grow up and are drawn to abusive partners. Abusers are generally the product of abuse themselves. When it is all you have ever known, it is not your fault. No one asks to be abused or is at fault when it happens to her. Ever. Period.

I think the only way we're ever going to end domestic violence is through education. Anger management skills training, for starters, should be a required course in high school.

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Post #15

Post by achilles12604 »

dissenter719 wrote:Oh, I'm dismayed. So dismayed. :shock:

I didn't bother to quote any of the three or four posts that so totally offended me, because they were all very similar. Something along the lines of, "The domestic violence victim is at least partially to blame. S/he could have left. Low self-esteem and lack of income are not good enough reasons to stay and be beaten. They should all just learn their lessons and get out."

I have to say, first of all, that I work for the Family Division of a Circuit Court. I work specifically with juvenile cases of abuse, neglect and delinquency, and the families of these children. I sit in court, day after day, and record the hearings and compose judges' orders, from preliminary all the way through eventual dismissal or termination of parental rights. I have seen and heard the stories of thousands of women and children in these situations. They make up almost exclusively the clientele of the court for which I work. (We're #3 in the U.S. in violent crime.)

Domestic violence is so much more than "beating." These women and children are emotionally battered, day in and day out. They are told how worthless and stupid they are. They're screamed at until they have no physical response to it anymore (flat affect). They are beaten down, literally and figuratively, until they actually believe their abusers. They become dull and unable to make simple decisions for themselves, because they are so used to being punished for every single independent thought or action. Women attack the police who attempt to 'help' them, because everyone of us knows that the abuser will be back on the street in a matter of time, and who will pay the price? Not the police officer. What is the woman to do? Cooperate and be beaten worse in a couple of days, or acquiesce and make her man proud that she fought for him?

Leaving ceases to be an option for these people. That's why the vast majority of abused children don't ever run away until they're placed into a safer (foster care) environment. They don't understand or see that what is happening to them is wrong until they spend time in an actual 'normal' environment.

Abuse is a cycle. Abused children grow up and are drawn to abusive partners. Abusers are generally the product of abuse themselves. When it is all you have ever known, it is not your fault. No one asks to be abused or is at fault when it happens to her. Ever. Period.

I think the only way we're ever going to end domestic violence is through education. Anger management skills training, for starters, should be a required course in high school.
I am employed in the Sheriff's office so I have a slightly different take.

I totally agree about the children. 100%. They are totally victims.

I do not agree with regards to the women. When you have been physically attacked by a woman trying to stop you from arresting their abusive husband because she only called to "scare him", the opinion of the woman being 100% victim is no longer possible.

I will never again be able to view the woman, who remains with the husband, visits him in jail, brings him money for his commissary, and sends him love letters as a victim.
It is a first class human tragedy that people of the earth who claim to believe in the message of Jesus, whom they describe as the Prince of Peace, show little of that belief in actual practice.

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Post #16

Post by achilles12604 »

achilles12604 wrote:
dissenter719 wrote:Oh, I'm dismayed. So dismayed. :shock:

I didn't bother to quote any of the three or four posts that so totally offended me, because they were all very similar. Something along the lines of, "The domestic violence victim is at least partially to blame. S/he could have left. Low self-esteem and lack of income are not good enough reasons to stay and be beaten. They should all just learn their lessons and get out."

I have to say, first of all, that I work for the Family Division of a Circuit Court. I work specifically with juvenile cases of abuse, neglect and delinquency, and the families of these children. I sit in court, day after day, and record the hearings and compose judges' orders, from preliminary all the way through eventual dismissal or termination of parental rights. I have seen and heard the stories of thousands of women and children in these situations. They make up almost exclusively the clientele of the court for which I work. (We're #3 in the U.S. in violent crime.)

Domestic violence is so much more than "beating." These women and children are emotionally battered, day in and day out. They are told how worthless and stupid they are. They're screamed at until they have no physical response to it anymore (flat affect). They are beaten down, literally and figuratively, until they actually believe their abusers. They become dull and unable to make simple decisions for themselves, because they are so used to being punished for every single independent thought or action. Women attack the police who attempt to 'help' them, because everyone of us knows that the abuser will be back on the street in a matter of time, and who will pay the price? Not the police officer. What is the woman to do? Cooperate and be beaten worse in a couple of days, or acquiesce and make her man proud that she fought for him?

Leaving ceases to be an option for these people. That's why the vast majority of abused children don't ever run away until they're placed into a safer (foster care) environment. They don't understand or see that what is happening to them is wrong until they spend time in an actual 'normal' environment.

Abuse is a cycle. Abused children grow up and are drawn to abusive partners. Abusers are generally the product of abuse themselves. When it is all you have ever known, it is not your fault. No one asks to be abused or is at fault when it happens to her. Ever. Period.

I think the only way we're ever going to end domestic violence is through education. Anger management skills training, for starters, should be a required course in high school.


I am employed in the Sheriff's office so I have a slightly different take.

I totally agree about the children. 100%. They are totally victims.

I do not agree with regards to the women. When you have been physically attacked by a woman trying to stop you from arresting their abusive husband because she only called to "scare him", the opinion of the woman being 100% victim is no longer possible.

I will never again be able to view the woman, who remains with the husband, visits him in jail, brings him money for his commissary, and sends him love letters as a victim.


This being said, I (as I mentioned before) think the system fails miserably at punishing these abusers. But then I have been accused of having a somewhat "unsympathetic" attitude towards those in my custody.
It is a first class human tragedy that people of the earth who claim to believe in the message of Jesus, whom they describe as the Prince of Peace, show little of that belief in actual practice.

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Post #17

Post by Confused »

dissenter719 wrote:
Oh, I'm dismayed. So dismayed. :shock:

I didn't bother to quote any of the three or four posts that so totally offended me, because they were all very similar. Something along the lines of, "The domestic violence victim is at least partially to blame. S/he could have left. Low self-esteem and lack of income are not good enough reasons to stay and be beaten. They should all just learn their lessons and get out."
Don't worry. The threads are always open to voice your opinion at anytime.
dissenter719 wrote: I have to say, first of all, that I work for the Family Division of a Circuit Court. I work specifically with juvenile cases of abuse, neglect and delinquency, and the families of these children. I sit in court, day after day, and record the hearings and compose judges' orders, from preliminary all the way through eventual dismissal or termination of parental rights. I have seen and heard the stories of thousands of women and children in these situations. They make up almost exclusively the clientele of the court for which I work. (We're #3 in the U.S. in violent crime.)
I don't dispute their prevalence, nor am I immune to their plight.
dissenter719 wrote: Domestic violence is so much more than "beating." These women and children are emotionally battered, day in and day out. They are told how worthless and stupid they are. They're screamed at until they have no physical response to it anymore (flat affect). They are beaten down, literally and figuratively, until they actually believe their abusers. They become dull and unable to make simple decisions for themselves, because they are so used to being punished for every single independent thought or action. Women attack the police who attempt to 'help' them, because everyone of us knows that the abuser will be back on the street in a matter of time, and who will pay the price? Not the police officer. What is the woman to do? Cooperate and be beaten worse in a couple of days, or acquiesce and make her man proud that she fought for him?
Again, I am not immune to their pain. But my mother found the will to walk away, then raise 9 children in Alaska working 3 jobs as a bartender and accepting no help from government agencies. My point is, if one has the will to walk away, then they should. If they lack the ability to do so, there are services that can help. If they choose not to, whether it be due to fear or low self esteem, it is their choice. A spouse doesn't just become abusive all the sudden. They don't wake up one day and start to beat the crap out of their spouse or degrade them. Women need to walk before it reaches that point. We marched for equal rights. With this right comes responsibility.
dissenter719 wrote: Leaving ceases to be an option for these people. That's why the vast majority of abused children don't ever run away until they're placed into a safer (foster care) environment. They don't understand or see that what is happening to them is wrong until they spend time in an actual 'normal' environment.
My stand on abused children and abused women are completely separate. But if the woman allows her spouse to abuse her children, she is just as guilty as he, despite her own current status. When she gave birth, she made an implicit promise to love and protect that child. If she allowed that child to get hurt then she is just as guilty.
dissenter719 wrote: Abuse is a cycle. Abused children grow up and are drawn to abusive partners. Abusers are generally the product of abuse themselves. When it is all you have ever known, it is not your fault. No one asks to be abused or is at fault when it happens to her. Ever. Period.
I don't suggest than a woman asks to be abused. But if abuse is a cycle, tell me, when does it end. Again, we asked for equal rights, we need to be able to stand on our own, against all adversity. I have raised myself since I was 7. I watched my dad beat my mom until she walked out on him when he started to raise his hand against us. She took the responsibility and chose to protect herself and her children above all else. Sooner or later, we have to take a stand or the cycle doesn't end. Part of that stand is admitting that we share some of the responsibility for allowing the abuse to continue. It sounds harsh to say and perhaps even harsher to hear, but just because something is harsh doesn't mean it shouldn't be said.
dissenter719 wrote: I think the only way we're ever going to end domestic violence is through education. Anger management skills training, for starters, should be a required course in high school.
Education alone isn't enough. Women have to want to escape. They have to be willing to face the unknown.
What we do for ourselves dies with us,
What we do for others and the world remains
and is immortal.

-Albert Pine
Never be bullied into silence.
Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
Accept no one persons definition of your life; define yourself.

-Harvey Fierstein

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Post #18

Post by achilles12604 »

I received a reply from Sen Salazar.
Dear Christopher:

Thank you for contacting me. I apologize for the delay in my response.

I fully agree with you that more must be done to break the cycle of domestic violence that afflicts countless families throughout Colorado and the nation, and your suggestion to create a domestic violence offender registry online is a good one. Please rest assured I will keep your proposal in mind as the Senate addresses legislation pertinent to this very important issue.

Again, thank you for writing. I appreciate the important work you do to keep our Colorado communities safe.

Sincerely,

Ken Salazar
United States Senator

Please do not respond to this email. To send another message please visit my website at http://salazar.senate.gov/contact/email.cfm and fill out the webform for a prompt response. Thank you.
Thought I would post it here.
It is a first class human tragedy that people of the earth who claim to believe in the message of Jesus, whom they describe as the Prince of Peace, show little of that belief in actual practice.

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Post #19

Post by Confused »

achilles12604 wrote:I received a reply from Sen Salazar.
Dear Christopher:

Thank you for contacting me. I apologize for the delay in my response.

I fully agree with you that more must be done to break the cycle of domestic violence that afflicts countless families throughout Colorado and the nation, and your suggestion to create a domestic violence offender registry online is a good one. Please rest assured I will keep your proposal in mind as the Senate addresses legislation pertinent to this very important issue.

Again, thank you for writing. I appreciate the important work you do to keep our Colorado communities safe.

Sincerely,

Ken Salazar
United States Senator

Please do not respond to this email. To send another message please visit my website at http://salazar.senate.gov/contact/email.cfm and fill out the webform for a prompt response. Thank you.
Thought I would post it here.
So, was this a standard brush off?

I have to give him credit for addressing your profession and its contribution to society individually, and it does make his response more personal. So, what is your opinion, will he actually suggest such a thing as a possible legislation? I think the idea was actually a good one.

BTW: When I get out of the hospital, I have every intention of emailing him to the website listed to also suggest such a thing. I wonder if enough of us forum members email him, do you all think it might make a difference?
What we do for ourselves dies with us,
What we do for others and the world remains
and is immortal.

-Albert Pine
Never be bullied into silence.
Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
Accept no one persons definition of your life; define yourself.

-Harvey Fierstein

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achilles12604
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Post #20

Post by achilles12604 »

Confused wrote:
achilles12604 wrote:I received a reply from Sen Salazar.
Dear Christopher:

Thank you for contacting me. I apologize for the delay in my response.

I fully agree with you that more must be done to break the cycle of domestic violence that afflicts countless families throughout Colorado and the nation, and your suggestion to create a domestic violence offender registry online is a good one. Please rest assured I will keep your proposal in mind as the Senate addresses legislation pertinent to this very important issue.

Again, thank you for writing. I appreciate the important work you do to keep our Colorado communities safe.

Sincerely,

Ken Salazar
United States Senator

Please do not respond to this email. To send another message please visit my website at http://salazar.senate.gov/contact/email.cfm and fill out the webform for a prompt response. Thank you.
Thought I would post it here.
So, was this a standard brush off?

I have to give him credit for addressing your profession and its contribution to society individually, and it does make his response more personal. So, what is your opinion, will he actually suggest such a thing as a possible legislation? I think the idea was actually a good one.

BTW: When I get out of the hospital, I have every intention of emailing him to the website listed to also suggest such a thing. I wonder if enough of us forum members email him, do you all think it might make a difference?
Hmm. Perhaps a new usergroup is in order . . .lol

No I honestly don't think I was brushed off this time. I have sent e-mails to Govt. Officials before and only recieved the automated reply. Then nothing ever followed. The fact that this was sent independently, recognized a significant gap of time between my post and his, recognized the profession, and stated his intentions makes me believe that he actually did read it and is going to give it active consideration.

I also think he may suggest it in session due to the fact that I pointed out the very low cost. Politicians love it when good ideas don't cost much.
It is a first class human tragedy that people of the earth who claim to believe in the message of Jesus, whom they describe as the Prince of Peace, show little of that belief in actual practice.

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