Where are all the “fire and brimstone” fundamentalists?

[Zzyzx]

Where are all the “fire and brimstone” fundamentalists; the ones with the “I’m saved and you are going to hell” attitude? You are being undermined by intelligent religionists who present a thoughtful and tolerant version of Christianity. Your hate / fear / force brand of Christianity is falling behind while allowing the intelligent (<shudder> liberal <ugh>) Christians to take over.

What are you guys, a bunch of wimps? Come out and fight for your gods. Whip on us with your condescending superiority, beat us down with your adroit use of biblical quotations, jam your beliefs down the throats of anyone who is gullible or vulnerable. Tell us again and again that everyone who doesn’t believe as you do will “spend eternity in hell” as punishment for not being like you.

We need the typical “Christian flagellation of heathens” and more quotations from your holey book to demonstrate how religion can whip people into conformity and compliance with church dogma (to become more like you). We are thankful that you can’t kill us for our own good like your righteous Christian brethren have done to “savages” and “infidels” and “heretics” for thousands of years.

Our efforts to recruit people to become Non-Christians will be much more difficult without your assistance. We need you to continue making Christians look like narrow-minded fools – announcing to the world that everyone who doesn’t believe exactly as you believe is inferior and stupid. You are our best recruiters. You turn Non-Christians into Anti-Christians very effectively.

When you are on a “righteous roll” all we have to do is poke you occasionally to get you to be more and more irrational and to inspire you to continue to alienate people wholesale. At your “best” you become totally incoherent with hatred for “the infidels” who oppose your gods. We know the buttons to push to get to your emotions and to get past any thinking mechanisms you possess.

To inspire you toward greater achievement in recruiting for Atheism, Agnosticism and Anti-Christianity (acronym AA&AC), I propose that we select a “Poster Child of the Month” from among the best Christian recruiters for AA&AC. Each month’s award recipient could be chosen democratically from outstanding candidates. In all fairness, I should not promote anyone by name, so here are the respective qualifications of three hypothetical members that I recognize as exemplary recruiters.

Candidate #1 displays smug superiority and contempt for anyone who isn’t smart enough to believe exactly as s/he does – always ready to challenge anyone’s best shot.

Candidate #2 has open contempt for intelligence and education and a firm conviction that anyone who argues any opposition view is stupid.

Candidate #3 makes bold but brief pronouncements consisting of dogma without any pretext of thought or understanding.

It is difficult to select the best from this group, but we can observe their posts with a view toward rating the damage they do to Christianity and the assistance they are in recruiting for AA&AC.


Note: This is satire (which is identified as: “holding up human vices and follies to ridicule or scorn”). If you are personally offended, notice that your name is not mentioned. If you believe that you are recognizable in the hypothetical candidate qualifications, perhaps you should be offended and embarrassed – by your own words and attitudes. If you don’t like what you see in the mirror . . . . . . . pray for improvement and ask your gods for forgiveness.

[achilles12604]

Those types of individuals usually don't last long here. Same goes for the religion hating atheists who feel believers should once again be fed to lions.

LOL

Sorry, no lions or witchburnings here.

[UBERROGO]

Those types of individuals usually don't last long here. Same goes for the religion hating atheists who feel believers should once again be fed to lions.

LOL

Sorry, no lions or witchburnings here.

Well poo. I was hoping for some madness.