JehovahsWitness wrote: ↑Sun Aug 04, 2024 4:58 amNow, is that hateful of you to say that ( "nobody's perfect") or is it not rather a statement of fact?
It can be both. It isn't always both, but it certainly can be. I'll admit I'm glad to be able to say it. Some places you can't, because some flat truths about people are already recognised as hateful. I like this - open debate - much better. But that doesn't mean telling the truth can't be abusive.
To be completely honest with you, I've been in a relationship with a perfect person, meaning no errors in judgment. It was Hell on Earth, apologising every 30 seconds. They never did anything worthy of it. They never even made a typo that I know of. And they would certainly never make the kinds of idiot mistakes I do, like burying the cup measurer at the bottom of 10lbs of sugar. That's a
genuine mistake. I'm 100% responsible. I knew the cup was in there. I simply didn't think to think about it. They expect me to apologise, they probably should, and I do. For at least the tenth time that day if not the twentieth.
JehovahsWitness wrote: ↑Sun Aug 04, 2024 4:58 amIf one recognises one's mistakes and allows for those of others is this an "abusive" worldview or is it not just a balanced and realistic approach to the human experience?
As you describe it there, I would say balanced and realistic, but it depends how much you expect others to grovel and say they're sorry, and if you expect them to apologise just for existing. If someone made a typo, proofread, and didn't find it, that implies to me that they did their due diligence and the mistake was unavoidable. Without a larger context where they charisma'd their way through an interview and claimed a position as senior editor, they're not responsible for it. They're responsible for proofreading, which they did. Asking them to be sorry their wiring isn't perfect is asking them to be sorry they exist, and that's not right.
JehovahsWitness wrote: ↑Sun Aug 04, 2024 4:58 amWill personal relationships be helped or hindered if we go into them expecting perfection from either ourselves or others?
Who expects perfection in this context? The person demanding that people take ownership of their mistakes and apologise, or the one saying, no, maybe we're not
that responsible for every little thing?
TL;DR version: Whether "nobody's perfect" is abusive or merely truthful depends on how much you harp on it. And I don't expect people to apologise for typos if they did proofread.