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faith wrote:People withhold information because they know they will be judged and because people will not see it from the point of two people being in love.
You apparently relate to this, and feel the need to rationalize it... I don't think that this is useful in anyway. He wasn't "withholding information" he manipulated the information repeatedly when he didn't get the response he wanted. And if one feels the need to lie on an anonymous site... I mean under what circumstances exactly would one tell the truth?
Take your pschologist and psychiatrist hat off and stop trying to tell me what I rationalise or think because you would be wrong.
I do not relate to this at all. I have lived my life as an extremely honest person and I have sympathy and empathy for people being attacked. Your post picked out all the faults. Now tell me who can relate to what?
What happens on forums is people get put in boxes. This guy has probably been trying to work out what and where it is wrong. Hence the way he presented the information. Someone planning to deliberately manipulate or decieve would not have deviated in any way. This guys fear is what became apparent and having already been attacked was expecting the same.
faith wrote:
So far everyone has nit-picked about the law
Not true... I didn't even mention the law. I focused on what he conveyed, the inconsistencies in his story, and his lack of integrity when responding to the challenge. I offered him insight into his own behaviors, and the perspective that this might be part of what's motivating dear-ol-dad.
Where as the evidence would show that dear-ol-dad is probably the cause of his behaviour not vice versa.
The problem for those that will manipulate, is that they get a false sense of success when their deceptions seemly go undetected... They don't realize that most people ARE noticing and are simply biting their tongue, being polite. The manipulator ends up with a skewed perspective regarding their behavior and how it is affecting their reputation and their life.
Again this is a relatively young man and he is obviously in a highly emotional frame of mind. Typical of you to think of deception and not the motivation behind his actions. Why should anyone need to bite their tongue. The guy may have other motives like hiding their identity and then giving the correct ages when he felt comfortable with the people he was discussing the matter with.
A little like the story that begins. " I have a friend who has this problem." the friend actually being themselves. It is not unsual for people trying to hide things relating to themselves.
The best thing this young man could do for himself and his future would be to commit to truth. If he were to affect this change, Dad might be impressed enough to reassess. If it held up, and proved out over time to be true and reliable, he might actually gain dear-ol-dad's respect, because that kind of change, if real, takes strength and courage. And, whether or not it changed anything in this particular situation, it would better his future period.
Again your assuming that he is dishonest. I am looking at his past reactions from people and the fact we are strangers. When in all truth there could be many reasons.
faith wrote: and the person who wrote the thread who was just looking for advice. Not one have asked them how they feel about each other or what they feel God is saying in all of this......
#5 honor your father and mother.
The word tells us " Do not bring your children to anger." So the word works both way. These are not babies they are young adults and should be treated as such.
They are being caused anguish in their lives.
faith wrote:
If they don't want to share your love and happiness then tough. When you marry you become a seperate family anyway.
So tell the parents that unless they allow you to see each other now. That you will go to college and get all your qualifications then you will both leave and get married without inviting them and make your own lives without them.
I am sure given the ultimation they will re-consider their position
Wow, that has to be the worst advice ever! You actually suggest he threaten the family and that if they don't like it tough? That he run off and marry their daughter without inviting them? That he cut off and destroy the loving relationship between this girl and her parents? I am so shocked and disgusted, I don't know where to begin. Blessed are the peacemakers, eh faith?
Again read what I wrote about waiting and getting their education. Then getting married. Do you ever read anything properly. I had not advised them to run off before they finish their education. But to warn the parents they intend to do as they chose when the time is right. The worst advice was telling them to get pregnant.

There is no loving relationship where a father is telling a woman whom she can and cannot see. Loving relationships trust each other. If he trusts his daughter then what is his problem?
If you had read the thread you would have seen I had given all the right advice.
But some parents are a nightmare and haven't a clue how to deal with these type of situtations. If this parent had been worth his salt. He would have let them see each other with ground rules in place.
So if you want to judge read all my posts and not just one. This was the final and the least of the options.
I guess it proves my point. You continually look for the worst in everything.
Love Faith.xx
