What's wrong with believing in unicorns? I do!

[cnorman18]

I believe in unicorns!

Unicorns were and are real creatures, and I can present objective and verifiable proof of their existence!

Atheists and nontheists are hereby informed that they must henceforth choose another mythical creature to compare to God. It would appear that unicorns are quite real and may once have even been common, and a few may even exist today. Some certainly existed quite recently, since they were publicly exhibited less than thirty years ago.

First, though unicorns are commonly thought to be horses with a single spiral horn extending from their heads, horses do not fit the description that is given in the classic legends.

Consider: besides the horn, unicorns are also said to have cloven (divided) hooves, plumed tails, and beards. While none of these are characteristic of horses, they are characteristic of another domestic animal--the goat.

As a clincher, one way to capture a unicorn is said to be to have a "pure," or virgin, young woman sit down on the ground; it is said that the unicorn will then approach her and sit in her lap.

I used to raise horses. Trust me on this; you do not want a horse to sit in your lap. A goat would be tolerable; a horse would cause serious physical injury.

Here are the facts:

It is possible to transplant the horn buds on a young goat to the center of its forehead, where they will heal, remain attached to the skull, and develop into a single horn; if properly placed, the two horns will even fuse in a spiral shape. This can be done easily, even with primitive tools.

The resulting horn extends straight outward, instead of curving back, and thereby becomes a lethal weapon. When the goat rams another creature, instead of resulting in a relatively harmless, though painful, "butting" effect, as happens on the impact of the sides of backward-curving horns, the single straight horn will penetrate deeply.

The animal can also throw the momentum of its full speed and weight into the piercing attack, instead of having to toss its head and use its relatively weak neck muscles alone when attempting to attack with the points of curving horns on the sides of it head.

It has been hypothesized that in ancient times, male goat kids were altered in this fashion to serve as natural guardians of the herd; and that such creatures gave rise to the unicorn legends of medieval times.

This does not seem beyond the realm of possibility, since similar animals have been created much more recently; one was regularly exhibited as a "Living Unicorn" by the world's best-known circus, the Ringling Brothers, Barnum & Bailey organization, as recently as 1980. It did, in fact, have a single spiral horn extending from its forehead, which was quite real and made of living bone firmly attached to the creature's skull.

I therefore can quite confidently proclaim that I believe in unicorns, and can present objective and verifiable evidence for their existence.

Here are a couple of references that prove my contentions here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unicorn

http://www.lair2000.net/Unicorn_Dreams/ ... _made.html

Now, I will admit that I do not believe in invisible pink unicorns; but that makes no logical sense anyway.

How can a creature that is invisible also be pink?

[Zzyzx]

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Cnorman, you are a scholar and a gentleman. I suggest that you initiate a usergroup for unicorn believers. I will donate the 500 tokens necessary to start the group.

[C-Nub]

Well, I'll be damned.

I am quite guilty of using unicorns in my anologies, though lately I've taken to using the Lepricaun from Lucky Charms. I guess that's good, since unicorns are real.

Now, here's a better question; Where can I get one? I've long had a dream of having (and eating in front of a bunch of little girls) a Unicorn.

I got a laugh out of this, so thanks.

[cnorman18]

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Cnorman, you are a scholar and a gentleman. I suggest that you initiate a usergroup for unicorn believers. I will donate the 500 tokens necessary to start the group.

Thanks, Z, but I'm not sure what we'd have to talk about in such a usergroup. Unicorns are real, but it turns out they're just funny-looking goats....

I've had just enough of an old family recipe from Scotland to free-associate just a bit: Maybe a lot of religious beliefs are like that.

As I've said any number of times, a lot of that stuff in Exodus really happened; it just wasn't what we made it out to be later.

Hmmm.

On the other hand; just as the legend of the Unicorn gave rise to some beautiful lessons about love, chivalry and an ideal of pure goodness and right, the legend of the Exodus gave rise to some beautiful lessons about the sacred quality of human freedom, perseverance in the face of implacable evil, and the possibility of liberty and redemption in this life. That legend was certainly a motivator and an inspiration for Dr. King, and as such had a positive effect.

Maybe even an objective error and a gross misunderstanding can have positive value for humanity at times.

You think?

ETA: Sorry about injecting a serious thought into my own humorous thread. I still think it's funny as hell that unicorns are real.

If I run across any evidence that leprechauns or pixies are real, I'll be sure to post that, too.

Real pixies--now THAT would be cool....

[Goat]

I can safely say that Unicorns do happen in real life.

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news ... photo.html

[McCulloch]

Cnorman, you are a scholar and a gentleman. I suggest that you initiate a usergroup for unicorn believers. I will donate the 500 tokens necessary to start the group.

But then we would need the shadow group of those who do not believe in unicorns.
Unicornians and Aunicornians.

By the way, your unicorn is not a unicorn but a mutated goat.

u·ni·corn [yoo-ni-kawrn]
–noun

1. a mythical creature resembling a horse, with a single horn in the center of its forehead: often symbolic of chastity or purity.
2. a heraldic representation of this animal, in the form of a horse with a lion's tail and with a long, straight, and spirally twisted horn.
3. (initial capital letter) Astronomy. the constellation Monoceros.
4. an animal mentioned in the Bible, Deut. 33:17: now believed by some to be a description of a wild ox or rhinoceros.
5. a former gold coin of Scotland, first issued by James III in 1486, having an obverse bearing the figure of a unicorn.

According to Pliny, a creature with a horse's body, deer's head, elephant's feet, lion's tail, and one black horn two cubits long projecting from its forehead.


©Tiina 'Aarnia' Aumala. All rights reserved!

[McCulloch]

Now, I will admit that I do not believe in invisible pink unicorns; but that makes no logical sense anyway.

That is the whole point. Invisible pink unicorns make as much sense as an omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, benevolent, spiritual being which exists both inside and beyond time and space.

[cnorman18]

Now, I will admit that I do not believe in invisible pink unicorns; but that makes no logical sense anyway.

That is the whole point. Invisible pink unicorns make as much sense as an omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, benevolent, spiritual being which exists both inside and beyond time and space.

Can we at least agree that that is one reasonable opinion among many?

"Invisible" and "pink" are mutually exclusive and therefore impossible as attributes of the same creature.

There is no inherent self-contradiction in the attributes of God you have listed, though, especially if "benevolent" and "spiritual" are deleted from the list. Judaism does not claim those as being among God's attributes; "benevolent" because that is not clearly true, and "spiritual" because that is not a concept that we recognize. Even in humans, we do not believe that there is a "soul" or "spirit" separate from the body.
The rest are not inherently self-contradictory or illogical, except perhaps according to a strictly materialist and physicalist understanding of reality; but that is not the only understanding there is, and it is not provably the only correct one unless one accepts its terms and definitions in advance.

I also feel compelled to point out that even the other attributes of God that are listed here are not universally accepted among Jews, and even insofar as they are, the meaning of those terms has been and remains a matter of debate.

The fact that this makes it difficult or impossible to discuss or debate the nature and existence of God with those not of our faith is of little importance to us, since we are not in the business of trying to convince others of the correctness of our views.

It works for us, and if non-Jews do not accept our approach, peace to you; you have the right to believe as you like without argument from us, and we claim that same right.

[McCulloch]

nvisible pink unicorns make as much sense as an omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, benevolent, spiritual being which exists both inside and beyond time and space.

Can we at least agree that that is one reasonable opinion among many?

"Invisible" and "pink" are mutually exclusive and therefore impossible as attributes of the same creature.

There is no inherent self-contradiction in the attributes of God you have listed, though, especially if "benevolent" and "spiritual" are deleted from the list. Judaism does not claim those as being among God's attributes; "benevolent" because that is not clearly true, and "spiritual" because that is not a concept that we recognize.

Well, you learn something every day! I was unaware that the Jewish concept of God did not include benevolent. Thanks. Is God evil or just amoral?
Spiritual can have different meanings to different people. By spiritual, I mean without a physical body. Do you claim that God has a physical body? Or do you mean something different by spiritual? Perhaps I should have used immaterial.

The rest are not inherently self-contradictory or illogical, except perhaps according to a strictly materialist and physicalist understanding of reality; but that is not the only understanding there is, and it is not provably the only correct one unless one accepts its terms and definitions in advance.

To me, existence outside of time and space has as much meaning as invisible pink. I don't know what it means to exist outside of time and space, do you?

[Goat]

Cnorman, you are a scholar and a gentleman. I suggest that you initiate a usergroup for unicorn believers. I will donate the 500 tokens necessary to start the group.

But then we would need the shadow group of those who do not believe in unicorns.
Unicornians and Aunicornians.

By the way, your unicorn is not a unicorn but a mutated goat.

u·ni·corn [yoo-ni-kawrn]
–noun

1. a mythical creature resembling a horse, with a single horn in the center of its forehead: often symbolic of chastity or purity.
2. a heraldic representation of this animal, in the form of a horse with a lion's tail and with a long, straight, and spirally twisted horn.
3. (initial capital letter) Astronomy. the constellation Monoceros.
4. an animal mentioned in the Bible, Deut. 33:17: now believed by some to be a description of a wild ox or rhinoceros.
5. a former gold coin of Scotland, first issued by James III in 1486, having an obverse bearing the figure of a unicorn.

According to Pliny, a creature with a horse's body, deer's head, elephant's feet, lion's tail, and one black horn two cubits long projecting from its forehead.


©Tiina 'Aarnia' Aumala. All rights reserved!

Actually, it is a deer, not a goat. It, however, has a naturally occurring 1 horn. It has the cloven hoofs, and fits the physical description of the Unicorn.

DOn't know how attracted it is to virgins though.